backdated to 4/12, welcome to ultimate nerd hell

[frostythehitman]

James Barnes shared a photo. April 12 near Recolle

There's got to be at least one comics nerd on here. Someone explain to me what all these old comics are supposed to be, and why they all have me in them. And before you say "just google it," I did and I couldn't find anything. I have no idea where Retrospec dug these up from. Also, I've got one free ticket to the shooting range I'm willing to share. The only catch is you have to be 18+ and willing to take me too. Let me know if you're interested.

((To view the comics in larger size/more detail, click here. There was no way i was gonna manage to embed that in a DW post. EDIT: also i added a bit to this post at 4/17 11:38 EST because I was a dumbass who forgot to include it originally, sorry for any possible confusion! ))

Comments

[digthefuzz]

whoooooa those are some funky-looking comics!
i'm no super nerd but i'm pretty sure i haven't heard of them
is that really you in the comics??

[frostythehitman]

I'm betting it is. There aren't exactly a lot of "Bucky Barnes"es running around in the world.

No one else is recognizing them either, and Google doesn't know about it. What's Retrospec playing at here?

[digthefuzz]

it's got alliteration going for it at least. it looks like they love that kinda stuff in the comic world!

okay, so another thing to add to the weirdness pile. i guess the retrospec guys made the comic? why stop at invading our personal lives when they can make us comic characters too!

[frostythehitman]

Thanks? If I knew having an alliterative name was going to just get comic books made about me, I wouldn't have even started using that name.

Why would they even bother, though? And what made them think I was comic book character material in the first place?

[digthefuzz]

who knows! why are they even bothering with any of the weird things that they do

maybe they just picked a user at random to make comics about?? like some kinda really creepy contest!

[frostythehitman]

Wow, great, just what I always wanted. Comics about me getting taken hostage and tied up by Nazis.

[digthefuzz]

i guess it's not the most ideal premise

but hey, it's a start!

is it decent writing at least

[frostythehitman]

Are you kidding me? One of these is about Captain America and "Bucky" beating up a guy named Dr. Crime who shrinks people with some potion.

I say "yahoo" at least five times per issue.

[digthefuzz]

dude

that kinda sounds like a fun read!

[frostythehitman]

You think "Dr. Crime" and dumb outdated catchphrases is a fun read?

[digthefuzz]

where else can you find something that hilarious

[frostythehitman]

Oh yeah, like seeing my misshapen face on a bunch of stupid comics is hilarious.

If anything, it's more like a cosmic joke.

[digthefuzz]

or maybe more of a comic joke? :p

come on, lighten up!
at least it's not anything dangerous

[frostythehitman]

[ puns are for people who don't BASK IN THE NIHILISTIC DARKNESS OF THE FUTILITY OF LIFE. ]

What, like I should just be thankful they didn't mail me a grenade?

If I have to thank someone for not sending me a grenade, then our standards for what's worth saying thanks for have really tanked.

[digthefuzz]

[Rude.]

well, that's life with retrospec tbh

man i wonder if they'll do comics of me too!

[frostythehitman]

Why not. If they've already put in the effort to make 25 comics about me, I'm sure they can spare a bit more to make some of you.

It's not like they're doing anything else over there.

[digthefuzz]

you'd think they'd be a little busy with how much they like to mess with our privacy

so what you going to do with these comics

[frostythehitman]

That's why they're a company--get some other sap to do the comics while everyone else is busy invading our privacy and putting faces on all our fruit.

I'm gonna let them sit in the box they came in. I'm not about to get rid of them, but what else am I gonna do with them? Like anyone's gonna buy a box full of fake comics.

[digthefuzz]

good point... man, i can't even imagine what a board meeting there would be like

do they just pitch all these random ideas? what are they throwing around now? "oh let's make water purple!"

dude i'd buy them!

[frostythehitman]

I hope it's purple water. I could live with water that looks like gatorade.

Wait, you'd seriously buy them? Why?

...And for how much?

[digthefuzz]

true, that wouldn't be too bad

totes seriously! i dunno, they make look kinda cheesy but they still look kinda fun too

and maybe there's some kinda hidden message somewhere in them. man, that'd be rad!

what would be a good price for all of them? 20 bucks?

[frostythehitman]

20 bucks? Are you kidding? That doesn't even cover a quarter of all this, if each one costs the same as a regular comic issue.

[ He literally looked up what a regular comic book costs in this the year of our lord 2017, just for this. ]

Besides, they're not for sale. I'll let you borrow and read a couple if you want, though.

[digthefuzz]

except they're not normal, they're retrospec! :p

but dude that's even better! i'll gladly get some borrowing going on!

[frostythehitman]

So they'd cost even more! You're just proving my point here.

Let me know when you wanna read a few and I'll let you read over them sometime.

[digthefuzz]

nuh-uh, cuz retrospec is worthless!

a tempting offer! hey, does tomorrow work?