[3] literally why

[covenantal]

Yu Narukami shared a photo. 6/2 near Apprassage

I didn't have time to take a picture of the real thing before I left this morning, but Retrospec sent me a golf club just like this one. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it. I don't know how to golf. ┐(´ｰ｀)┌ Also, has anyone else ever had a feeling like something they see around the city is ... theirs? I can't explain it. Like it belongs to you, even if you've never seen it before that moment.

Comments

[openhanded]

yeah, it makes sense. it was mine after all-- not someone else's.
I think it was about a month and a half between when I got the item and when I remembered wearing it. it wasn't even the focus of my vision, it was just... there.
I've been wearing it a lot just in case I get another vision of it, but that hasn't happened yet.

[covenantal]

Hm... It really doesn't seem like there's any pattern to this sort of thing.

How are you doing? I know receiving these things has been pretty startling for some, understandably.

[openhanded]

I can deal with the items. it's more the visions that are throwing me off.
it's getting harder and harder to separate myself from them. from whoever I used to be

[covenantal]

Do you want to be a different person than the one you keep seeing?

[openhanded]

I don't think wanting to improve as a person means I need to become someone else.
especially if that person was the kind to go on some kind of incredible fantasy journey
I'm a student teacher. maybe I'll get a license after I finish my degree
that's the extent of my paradigm-changing decisions right now
I wasn't raised in that world and I don't think I can deal with that world's problems in an effective way

I'm not that special

[covenantal]

[ There's a lot to unpack, here. ]

You don't have to be that person. You are whoever you decide to be. That's what's important, isn't it?

If you feel like the line is starting to blur, then write down what you think is important about yourself right now. The things you like about yourself, and even the things you don't like. Read it when you feel lost.

You're allowed to be the person that you are. You don't have to be anyone else. I'm sure that person is already special enough.

[openhanded]

[Welcome to another rousing rendition of 'Yu has social links where people repress a lot of shit and then unload it all on him for some reason.']

that's... a really good idea, actually. I think I'll do that.
I have a lot of plans just like everyone else
a lot of things I want to do.
I don't want whatever this is to keep me from doing those things. they're important to the 'me' here, too

thanks.
sometimes I forget there's only a handful of years between me and the students I teach
I only graduated high school three years ago

[covenantal]

[ It's all good, man, he's used to it. You just do your repressed emotions thing, he'll be here to handle it. ]

I feel the same. I'm starting college in the fall. There are things that I, as the "me" that's here, want to do. Things that aren't related to my hallucinomemories. Hold onto your ambitions. You'll be the one to set the course you take, not your memories.

You must be passionate about teaching.

[openhanded]

[So much repressed emotions, goddamn.]

yeah, absolutely. I think the other 'me' would understand, too.

I do take it kind of seriously huh
when I started, I didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as I do. I just wanted to make up the field credit I missed last summer and this was the opportunity I got.
at the risk of sounding really sappy for a second --
I'm happier spending time with my students than I would be without them.
(that means you too!)
my dream is still important. I'm still gonna be a field archaeologist. but when I come back... if there's a place for me... maybe I'll teach for real