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[recollecters]

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Comments

[adoringpast]

[ Give him a moment. Why are you giving him a goddamn pop quiz during summer?

...Until it hits him, and Sena widens his eyes at the phone he's holding. ]

what the fuck

[ HOW ELOQUENT ]

[impulsives]

if the answer is 'she died while my past self was retrieving her phone', then you're correct.

...apparently i was living in a time of war, and a stray laser beam from one of the giant robots hit a place my past self wasn't conveniently in, and the force of the explosion blew him away.

by the time my past self came to...

well.

it wasn't pretty.

and that's why i haven't been able to sleep today.

it's one thing to watch a series about war to enjoy the drama, and another thing entirely to experience it personally, y'know?

[adoringpast]

[ It's no that Sena is sympathetic, but... damn. Now he totally regrets that one time he and Takumi were talking smack about him when Takumi had told him about his own war flashbacks just a couple of weeks ago.

Huh. Those two seem pretty alike, after all. What's with them telling a sourpuss like Sena their tragic backstories anyway? ]

But are you sure that's your sister?

I'm not that familiar with your family life here but you have to make sure about that first.

[impulsives]

[ it's more like shin believes sena is a neutral third party, to balance his really close friend in souji in order to get a more objective opinion in these matters.

basically someone to discuss these memories with who don't have a personal stake in shin's well-being just yet. ]

it felt like it. there was a deep sorrow within his being when he saw the scene. and... well, it definitely gave me some insight on why my past self would be related to the military.

......she looked and sounded like my sister would if she's straight and proper rather than being a messy art student, let's put it that way. And I remembered that my past self and her were younger then, too.

of course... my family here is still fine, but... it's just... weird and scary, i guess.

[adoringpast]

[ The fact that he's referring to his memory self in third person is raising flags in Sena's head. Ouch, dude.

He actually doesn't know what to say to this. Unlike Takumi, who's one of the closest people he can call his friend right now, Shin's story is pretty out there. Having a nice happy dude get memories like this is so cruel. ]

Can't blame you for thinking that, and for distancing yourself from what you remembered from back then.

And I can't say I can relate either since most of my memories are pretty mundane

[ aside from lowkey stalking this one kid and getting photos of him later on ]

But
That really sucks, Asuka

Wait, military? You were a child soldier?

[impulsives]

that's alright, helps keep me level if i have someone that can objectively look at it aside from myself.

i mean, i'm not sure, that guy was me, but he... feels more strongly, if you know what i mean? he had his emotion on full-blast and it felt scary to feel such raw anger in person.

...and yeah. remember how we met from that model building post? the memory there as i was staring at the giant robots?

what other kind of person would have access to a hangar if not a soldier, then?

[adoringpast]

Raw anger, huh. That must've been really wild, considering you're kind of passionate in a different way.

[ that's the closest thing to a compliment, so suck it up ]

A soldier that keeps huge kandams... You mean those anime are real? Why do they keep those things around anyway?!

[impulsives]

...no, not A. a bunch of them soldiers, i was probably a part of a platoon or something.

and...

what other reason would you field giant robots as a weapon?

if it's for war, anything goes, you know. weapons of mass destruction, giant robots...

that's why the kandam series were made, to show how terrible wars can get while still being an advertisement for plastic models.

[adoringpast]

A war...

[ And that's when the unwarranted memory hits Sena like a truck at 1am. ]

Hey, Asuka. Seems we actually have something in common now. Least you're not alone in this.

[ Shit. ]

[impulsives]

...and looks like i was right.

i just remembered that i was a fairly high-ranking soldier.

at 18 years old.

[adoringpast]

What the hell, that's too young.

...Were you that good?

[ He's genuinely curious now. Asuka really is some hotblooded anime protag. ]

[impulsives]

Apparently. The rank is given to those who performed exceptionally well during the military school. Must be pressed for members if the recruitment age is that young.


.........and my past self must've been still too wrapped up in anger to do anything else but enlist. I mean, what else did he have then?

[adoringpast]

[ Sheesh, talk about anger issues. But even a sourpuss like Sena dares not to point that out to him. Not now. ]

How should I know? I'm not the one with the tragic backstory here.

There must be some other reason why you were so pissed enough to join anyway. Out of pure spite, maybe?

[impulsives]

......maybe. I wouldn't put it past it, I supposed.

but that's him, and not me. we might've been the same person, but right now, i'm just an engineering student with too much time on my hand.

[ that dissociation. ]

our lives couldn't be more different if i tried, but... at the same time i'm curious. y'know, just like following a kandam series, except it's more painful because you're experiencing it for yourself.

[adoringpast]

Because you two ARE the same person. But whatever, I'm not here to judge your coping mechanisms.

Just know that you'll have to accept that side of you sooner or later.

Even if it hurts.

[ Damn, that's actually pretty deep from someone like Sena. ]

[impulsives]

...yeah, i know. I'll have to deal with it regardless what I do. thanks, mizuki. i mean it. [ using mizuki again. he's actually serious about this. ]


...what did you remember, though? were you in a turf war or something?

[adoringpast]

[ make up your mind about his name, will you

but he'll answer the same questions he's had about his memories with the usual nonchalance. as much as he appreciates people like takumi and shin sharing their war flashbacks with him, sena can't just bring himself to tell his story to anyone just yet. ]

Sure. Let's go with that.

[ it kind of looked like it, though? ]

[impulsives]

...alright. at least... that's less worse than what i had to go through ha...

don't want to wish that on anyone really.