01 | the answers agency presents...

[elevelvetor]

Elizabeth Velveteen and Goro Akechi of the newly-formed The Answers Agency would like to announce that, after multiple days of investigation, we have found that a member of Retrospec's userbase is actually an incredibly kind person.

Silver Bells, known on the app as Gintaro Suzukaze, has done wonderful things such as:

* sprayed water on people on a very hot day
* helped newcomers adjust to retrospec
* had his nails painted a bright assortment of colors that was sure to clash with his hair to help out with someone’s bingo square
* promo’d his brother for bingo and because he obviously loves him
* rescues cats from trees on a biweekly basis
* befriends friendless losers
* lends his aid without asking for anything in return

(citation for at least two of these)

We thank you for reading and ask that you spread the good word about Silver, and perhaps share stories of your own of his kindness!

also, i (The Answers Agency president, Elizabeth) will be holding a show everyone is free to come to in Recollé Square on the 15th, at 5pm. you’ll have to bring your own snacks, but other refreshments will be provided.
additionally, those with a serious interest in becoming a detective or making their way in the investigative world should contact either myself or Akechi for more information about The Answers Agency!
we will also take cases, big or small, missing pets or stolen items, so feel free to contact about that as well.

[ ooc: replies will come from both Elizabeth and Goro (twostringsonebow)! ...and Silver, probably, damage control at its finest. ]

Comments

[feistytrader]

Good. It better stay that way.

[thesettingsun]

Also, store policy is to card people until you can see wrinkles. Do you want to be wrinkly, Silver. Do you.

[feistytrader]

It's not about the booze, it's about being a massive inconvenience.

[thesettingsun]

You can't be worse than a lot of our customers.

[feistytrader]

You really need a new job, buddy.

[thesettingsun]

If I quit my parents will kill me.

[feistytrader]

Go look for a new one before you quit. Maybe you'll find something less shitty and retail.

[thesettingsun]

With no degree?

[feistytrader]

How long have you been at your job again? Maybe the work experience will help.

[thesettingsun]

About two years. You're right, but I don't want to be too optimistic.

[feistytrader]

Two years is a lot. Don't quit your job off the bat, but it's not a bad idea to look around, either.

we're both boomeranging this to distract ourselves from the tf investigation, aren't we

[thesettingsun]

What even is there in my field? Sometimes I don't know why I picked this major.

i know i'm watching it for that purpose

[twostringsonebow]

What major is it?

welcome to the game where no one's dead yet

[thesettingsun]

English.

[twostringsonebow]

[lmao ur fucked m8]

An editing job might work out, if you're not into teaching.

[thesettingsun]

I'm a pretty good proofreader, if people still hire those and don't rely only on spellcheck.

Alternatively, I can pray that my novel makes it big when I finish it.

[twostringsonebow]

They do! You'd simply have to see if the local newspapers are offering any spaces, and I'm certain once school starts up again there'll be plenty of people willing to pay for you to look over their essays and the like.

What's your novel about?

[thesettingsun]

[IGNORES THE FIRST PART IN FAVOR OF RAMBLING ABOUT HIS NOVEL]

It's a space drama about a man whose planet is destroyed, and he has to adjust to living with an entirely different culture with different values than his! It's centered around the theme of moral relativism as he has to figure out which of his values just came from the culture he was raised in, and which are too important to him to change.

There are also space pirates.

[twostringsonebow]

Where do the space pirates come into play?

Because it sounds interesting.

Though I simply have a fondness for pirates.

[thesettingsun]

Our hero isn't used to much space travel, so when people talk about avoiding certain areas of space because you might run into pirates, he's confused about why they talk about it so matter-of-factly. But to them it's the same as 'don't go into a shady neighborhood after dark or you might get mugged'. It's no fun if you get mugged, but it's not like you can say you're surprised about it.

You know how privateers were just pirates with authorization from their government to do that against other countries' ships, right?

easier to focus on one thing than like 30 while refreshing yes

[feistytrader]

Write a book about a teenager falling in love with a vampire.

several fears

[thesettingsun]

What if they're side characters and their subplot ends up with the teenager getting eaten?

[feistytrader]

That sounds way more interesting than what I was thinking. I was thinking go be a sellout to gain popularity, then write whatever you want.

[thesettingsun]

I'm halfway through a not-sellout novel, so I might as well finish that first anyway. Not that vampires will be in that one, but if I can establish a reputation from that...