01 | the answers agency presents...

[elevelvetor]

Elizabeth Velveteen and Goro Akechi of the newly-formed The Answers Agency would like to announce that, after multiple days of investigation, we have found that a member of Retrospec's userbase is actually an incredibly kind person.

Silver Bells, known on the app as Gintaro Suzukaze, has done wonderful things such as:

* sprayed water on people on a very hot day
* helped newcomers adjust to retrospec
* had his nails painted a bright assortment of colors that was sure to clash with his hair to help out with someone’s bingo square
* promo’d his brother for bingo and because he obviously loves him
* rescues cats from trees on a biweekly basis
* befriends friendless losers
* lends his aid without asking for anything in return

(citation for at least two of these)

We thank you for reading and ask that you spread the good word about Silver, and perhaps share stories of your own of his kindness!

also, i (The Answers Agency president, Elizabeth) will be holding a show everyone is free to come to in Recollé Square on the 15th, at 5pm. you’ll have to bring your own snacks, but other refreshments will be provided.
additionally, those with a serious interest in becoming a detective or making their way in the investigative world should contact either myself or Akechi for more information about The Answers Agency!
we will also take cases, big or small, missing pets or stolen items, so feel free to contact about that as well.

[ ooc: replies will come from both Elizabeth and Goro (twostringsonebow)! ...and Silver, probably, damage control at its finest. ]

Comments

[elevelvetor]

oh no.
my realness is also at stake here.
please capitalize my name at once.

[twostringsonebow]

Only if you capitalize Santa Claus as you properly should.

[elevelvetor]

you said yourself that he isn't real though.

[twostringsonebow]

Actually.
Someone like him once existed and started the legend in the first place.
He didn't live on the North Pole, but he did give out gifts in the winter season, if I remember right. The story of Santa Claus (Old Saint Nick) comes from that.
So he's technically real... in a way.

[elevelvetor]

i see.

[elevelvetor]

he's really dead, then?

[twostringsonebow]

And deserving of a capitalized name.

[elevelvetor]

not if we're calling him santa claus.

[elevelvetor]

which i suppose is not grounds for history revision

[youraffection]

i think tim allen is cringing somewhere

[elevelvetor]

thank you for telling me about Saint Nick, however.

[twostringsonebow]

[oh thank god]

Fine enough.

[feistytrader]

On a more serious note, I think we've reached the point where our lives are strange enough that Santa in his full flying reindeer, present giving, ho ho ho capacity could definitely exist for real.

[twostringsonebow]

I'm not sure.
I mean, it certainly is possible, but we need to consider the pros and cons of his existence. Miss Velveteen would be forced to capitalize his name, which would be worth seeing, but there's still...
Oh, no, if it's Retrospec's fault, then it wouldn't be anything newsworthy to those without the app. We'll simply have free presents based on good karma.