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[okitactless]

[You can't really clear your throat over text, but somehow, Yamato manages to give off that impression. He's not big on social media (can you be a grandpa at age 21?), but the bingo overlords required it, so... here goes nothing.]

The Great Gatsby is a very important and famous book which tells its story through many pages, all of which I enjoyed reading very much. The Great Gatsby is truly a book by F. Scott Fitzgerald about how you shouldn't just buy a castle near your ex-girlfriend in the 1920s and then wait for her to fall back in love with you, because eventually you might get murdered by a poor person.

The main guy in the book is Nick Carraway. He went to college and then moved to a dirty shack on Long Island, where he tries to make money using finance and mainly just follows his neighbors around staring like a weirdo. Nick Carraway has a cousin named Daisy. She's married to Tom Buchanan, who has a small mustache, probably. Daisy hates shirts, Tom Buchanan, and having a personality, but everyone seems to think she is a lot of fun to be around anyway.

Next door to Nick Carraway is a big castle where a mysterious man named Gatsby lives. Gatsby is the most important man in town (and in the book—hence the title!!!), except that none of his friends or acquaintances has ever met or seen him, even though he is on the cover of the newspaper every day. Any time someone says "Gatsby," everyone else is like, "Gatsby? Gatsby? What Gatsby? Where Gatsby? Show me the Gatsby!" but no one knows who he is. Then at some point everyone is just like, "Oh, hey Gatsby, could you move, you're blocking the polo game or whatever." Gatsby and Daisy used to date, and now Gatsby throws a lot of parties hoping that Daisy will come over. After some events, life would never be the same.

Gatsby is obsessed with this green light across the water from his house. The green light represents Daisy, because Gatsby is "green" with envy that Tom Buchanan gets to hang out with her all the time, and also because green is the color of "go" and Gatsby would like to "go" over there.

Eventually Daisy comes over and says she would like to break up with Tom Buchanan and marry Gatsby instead, because of shirts. Everyone has a fight and eventually Gatsby dies, which represents death. The most important metaphor in The Great Gatsby is the shooting stars, which happen in the sky at least twice in every scene. The shooting stars represent the fact that Gatsby is the "star" of the book and somebody "shoots" him at the end. Aren't we all a little bit like Gatsby in this modern world?

The Merriam-Webster English Dictionary defines "conclusion" as "the last part of something." In conclusion, this is the last part of my report on The Great Gatsby, which is a very expensive book about confetti. It is truly the best book I have ever read all the way through.

[Hopefully you enjoyed this 100% original book report by a guy who didn't even bother to introduce himself or mention that this was for bingo.]

Comments

[saburai]

...Are you aware that you posted this to Retrospec, and not to Turnitin?

[ That's ignoring how awful the report itself is, but... first things first. ]

[okitactless]

what's turnitin

[Yamato you are 21 get with the times]

[saburai]

Ah, it's a website my teachers have used for turning in essays, so I assumed yours had as well. It checks for plagiarism.

Did you mean to send this in an email instead, then?

[okitactless]

OH that thing
I usually just write them out and turn them in by hand if they let me

[yams]

no it was for that bingo thing
it said to write a book report and post it to the network
don't ask me why they thought people would care about a book report though, I have no idea

[surprising]

this is terrible

[ and that's coming from him, who's never particularly been fond of doing book reports... ever. ]

[okitactless]

they never said it had to be well-written!!

[THIS BULLYING RN]

[surprising]

but this isn't even decently written
it'd make your elementary school teachers cry

[ bullies him into the ether ]

[okitactless]

what do you expect when I never read the book!!

[WHY]

[spes_phthisica]

[He has to wait a while until he can STOP DYING FROM LAUGHTER, but he gets there. Somehow.

Though really, his reply is kind of terrible.]

you're way too cute omg ლ(･ω･*ლ)♡(ŐωŐ人)(*○’3`)★+ﾟ

[okitactless]

[SOUJIROU YOU FELL OVER A FENCE YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON WHO GETS TO LAUGH]

?????????????????????????

[spes_phthisica]

you heard me (ฅ`ω´ฅ)
you're cute and your book report is cute
and also really funny

[okitactless]

I don't get it

[Of course he doesn't.]

but thanks I guess I worked pretty hard on it

[vendettastool]

I thought the point of the book is that everyone is awful especially everyone with money and the only good person dies because idiots can't drive.

[okitactless]

oh you're probably right
I didn't read it

[Does it still count if he openly admits that??]

[vendettastool]

Then why are you talking about the book here if you never read it?

[okitactless]

it's for bingo!!
it said to write a book report and share it with the network
I work at the library so I just skimmed the first book I saw and then looked up the details on the internet

[So basically, he cheated.]

[liberal_arts]

I stand in awe.

There is an utter majesty to this.

[okitactless]

thanks I worked really hard on it

[Scouring the internet for Sparknotes and book report templates took a good ten minutes, at least.]

[liberal_arts]

The effort certainly went somewhere.

[matsuura]

Are you writing a book report for school?

[okitactless]

no it's for that bingo thing
it said to write a book report and post it to the network
so I picked the first book I saw

[matsuura]

Woah, weird. I wonder why Jim would need a book report?
Did you really read the book, though? Some of these seem a little off.

[twostringsonebow]

The Great Gatsby was a terrible book.

[sorry yams. judgmental af here.]

More than that, it represents the futility of the American Dream, how lofty an appeal it is that often ends in complete disaster by those entranced by it. And where did you get that Daisy broke it off with Tom because of shirts? He abused her, cheated on her, and treated her no better than a trophy -- Gatsby loved her with all his heart and she was in love with that feeling of appreciation. Actually, it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that the whole problem of The Great Gatsby is that everyone's in love with the idea of someone else. Even Nick was in love with the idea of Gatsby!

[okitactless]

you sound like you actually read it

[YAMATO THIS IS NOT A GOOD RESPONSE]

I don't know though, I don't think it's that weird to view someone as better than they might really be
Having an idol can be a good thing

[NEITHER IS THAT yamato why are you debating a book you didn't read... well, okay, his randomly-chosen major is philosophy, does this count?]

[twostringsonebow]

[YAMATO.]

I did read it, thank you, and...
It's not weird, no, it's quite normal, but it's not fair to the person you're putting on a pedestal. It's an undue pressure that can cause one to eventually break and act rashly.

[... which is why he's kind of glad that silver called him out earlier about his own pedestal putting, this is such a conversation to have now]

There's a difference in having an idol and an idealized version of someone, the latter being the prominent issue. Idols have their failings and you can accept that. They're only human. Idealized others, on the other hand, transcend all mistakes, can't possibly make any, are perfect and wonderful and beyond reality -- you understand my point now, don't you?