retrospec | 1 ● text

[You can't really clear your throat over text, but somehow, Yamato manages to give off that impression. He's not big on social media (can you be a grandpa at age 21?), but the bingo overlords required it, so... here goes nothing.]

The Great Gatsby is a very important and famous book which tells its story through many pages, all of which I enjoyed reading very much. The Great Gatsby is truly a book by F. Scott Fitzgerald about how you shouldn't just buy a castle near your ex-girlfriend in the 1920s and then wait for her to fall back in love with you, because eventually you might get murdered by a poor person.

The main guy in the book is Nick Carraway. He went to college and then moved to a dirty shack on Long Island, where he tries to make money using finance and mainly just follows his neighbors around staring like a weirdo. Nick Carraway has a cousin named Daisy. She's married to Tom Buchanan, who has a small mustache, probably. Daisy hates shirts, Tom Buchanan, and having a personality, but everyone seems to think she is a lot of fun to be around anyway.

Next door to Nick Carraway is a big castle where a mysterious man named Gatsby lives. Gatsby is the most important man in town (and in the book—hence the title!!!), except that none of his friends or acquaintances has ever met or seen him, even though he is on the cover of the newspaper every day. Any time someone says "Gatsby," everyone else is like, "Gatsby? Gatsby? What Gatsby? Where Gatsby? Show me the Gatsby!" but no one knows who he is. Then at some point everyone is just like, "Oh, hey Gatsby, could you move, you're blocking the polo game or whatever." Gatsby and Daisy used to date, and now Gatsby throws a lot of parties hoping that Daisy will come over. After some events, life would never be the same.

Gatsby is obsessed with this green light across the water from his house. The green light represents Daisy, because Gatsby is "green" with envy that Tom Buchanan gets to hang out with her all the time, and also because green is the color of "go" and Gatsby would like to "go" over there.

Eventually Daisy comes over and says she would like to break up with Tom Buchanan and marry Gatsby instead, because of shirts. Everyone has a fight and eventually Gatsby dies, which represents death. The most important metaphor in The Great Gatsby is the shooting stars, which happen in the sky at least twice in every scene. The shooting stars represent the fact that Gatsby is the "star" of the book and somebody "shoots" him at the end. Aren't we all a little bit like Gatsby in this modern world?

The Merriam-Webster English Dictionary defines "conclusion" as "the last part of something." In conclusion, this is the last part of my report on The Great Gatsby, which is a very expensive book about confetti. It is truly the best book I have ever read all the way through.

[Hopefully you enjoyed this 100% original book report by a guy who didn't even bother to introduce himself or mention that this was for bingo.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you writing a book report for school?

no it's for that bingo thing
it said to write a book report and post it to the network
so I picked the first book I saw

Woah, weird. I wonder why Jim would need a book report?
Did you really read the book, though? Some of these seem a little off.

I think he just wants us all to suffer

[But who suffered more from this, Yamato or the poor people on the network forced to read this thing...]

not really
I work at the library so I just skimmed through it and then looked on the internet

I guess so :|a
I had to read it last summer.
You were pretty close, at first anyway.

really??

[HE'S HONESTLY SURPRISED...]

where did it go off

Well, the events are all pretty accurate, the details are where it kind of breaks down.
Also I'm pretty sure Gatsby dies in a car accident? Or he gets drowned in a pool. Now I can't remember...

if you can't remember then my answer totally counts!! they should've written a better book [yams yoU DIDN'T EVEN READ IT]

I read a lot of books last year! There must have been one where the main character dies in a crash...
But anyway, it's not that bad! Loads better than The Scarlet Letter and that kind of stuff.

oh... I didn't read that one either [yams pls]

I like nonfiction better so I didn't really like my literature classes much

What did you read then...?

I mean, I always liked biology and that stuff more than literature but that doesn't mean I can just stop paying attention in class!

I paid attention!!! we just didn't read those ones
I liked fahrenheit 451
and hamlet

[This sounds impressive until you realize they're just the one where things get set on fire and the one where everyone goes crazy and dies.]

I was out of class a lot though so I probably missed a lot of stuff about them

Farenheit 451 is really good!
I haven't read Hamlet yet but I think that's going to be this year.

[ I mean, if you have a type, you have a type. ]

Oh? Why, were you sick?

Edited 2017-07-30 18:34 (UTC)

no I just got in too many fights

[JUST CASUALLY ADMITS THIS someone stop him]

Oh.......

Were you like..... a delinquent?

[ oh my god ]

that depends on who you ask
my teachers would probably have said yes though

[To this day Yamato maintains that he'd been in the right, as he'd only ever gotten into fights in order to protect or defend other people. But he's also aware now that he probably could've toned it down a little bit in the process.]

Woah........

[ That's scary, dude!!! ]

I wasn't a bully if that's what you're thinking

[Just. Getting that out of the way. But he can't even say he doesn't do it anymore because he's gotten into at least three fights in the past six months... HE'S TRYING OKAY IT'S NOT HIS FAULT]

[ Sure buddy, sure.... ]

You just happened to get into a lot of fights...?

no I got into them on purpose

[Well at least he's honest...]

but I wasn't stealing people's lunch money or anything
it was mostly taking care of people being jerks
like beating up younger kids or spreading lies about people

It sounds like you were a bully to other bullies.

it's the same thing superheroes do though

[Not that he considers himself to be a superhero by any means, but he does have a point...]

anyway my grades were good enough to get into college and I never got arrested or anything so it's fine

Superheroes aren't in school, though!

But I guess... if you managed to get good grades, that's something. But you should try to be more responsible now!

[There's a lot of ways he could respond to this, some more mature than others, but since Yasusada's... Yasusada, his response is:]

how do you know they're not??

Because they're supposed to be role-models! They have to focus on studying and SATs, there's no time to go saving the world.

[ Obviously!!! Kanan doesn't know Spider-Man, does she. ]

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okitactless - 2017-08-11 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

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