[video] forward dated to 9/13

[appraiser]

Ryoji Mochizuki shared a video.
09/13 near Apprassage

[ The video starts up, dark, silent. A bedroom, if an empty desk and neatly made bed and too many cardboard boxes count as a bedroom, and then the view flips over with a soft ] Oh. [ as the user finds the front-facing camera instead of the rear that he always uses on his phone. ]

Hi... It's been a while.

[ The bottom half of the screen blurs as Ryoji draws his knees to his chest where he sits on bare floorboards, phone in his hands. He doesn't introduce himself— doesn't need to, when his name is up there for people who don't know him, his face right here for people who do: the people he's recording this video for, whispers in an empty room. ]

I'm back. I know there are probably questions as to why, or how... and I can't really explain it well myself. But I'll answer the best I can, if you want to ask, texting or in person.

[ Ryoji sits up a little straighter now, looks a little more serious. This is what he meant to say: a confession. ]

But before that, I want to say that I'm glad to be back, however it happened... a second chance like this. I also want to be more upfront about myself, and there are things I want to say to a lot of people.

There was a time in the past where I was a monster: I'd hurt a lot of people, and I ran from all of that, hid myself away, and pretended it hadn't happened. The memories I've been experiencing, I kept the good ones close, the bad even closer, pretending they weren't real and that they have nothing to do with me. I thought... that it would be better to forget about all of that and return to a simpler time. Unconsciously, I think that's what I did. I went back to before everything happened, to start over, and do better this time. But I got it wrong. I made myself forget, but I wasn't forgotten...

[ He's rambling now, a little, so he turns his eyes away from the screen, staring off at something in the distance- it's the moon reflected in his eyes, only half. ]

There's somebody I still need to say goodbye to, but after that... I want to see so many of you. I owe a lot of "thank you"s and "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s, and I want to be with people again. I don't want to leave this world or its people ever again.

So... I'll see you guys soon.




( ooc: forward dated to 9/13 to give myself a buffer. replies can be via text, or an in-person if you want to fast-forward to ryoji showing up at your character's house/class/chance meeting at some cafe/hi roommates/he'll be finding people around town somehow. for his cr, please assume he checked up on them, whether it's handwaved or not! )

Comments

[appraiser]

[ There are so many things that are wrong, so many things he doesn't understand and so much that he feels so badly about. But in this point in time and this point in space, he can say with all certainty that he's alright. ]

Yeah. [ He whispers the word into her hair. ] Because I can finally see you, and answer you. I'm sorry I couldn't.

[cattack]

[She holds him tightly for just a moment longer, and then... pulls back, patting his chest where the wound was, like she's trying to make sure it's really gone.]

No... I- I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I found you, but I couldn't...

[appraiser]

[ His chest is still and cold, but it's whole and solid, no gaping wound, no falling apart, no danger of disappearing again any time soon, and Ryoji takes her hand and holds it there. ]

That's not true. You did save me. I heard your voice, and I think that's what let me hang on for as long as I did. From the forest, to the hospital, and after that too— people were there for me and wouldn't let me give up.

[cattack]

[But it wasn't enough... Is what she wants to say. But she doesn't have the right to decide that. Ryoji does.]

You... really did hear me?

[appraiser]

I heard you.

[ Dying and lying there less than half unconscious, but that's just the natural state of things, returning to the unconscious mind. ]

How you didn't give up on me. And how you didn't give up on anybody else either.

[cattack]

[you aren't allowed to turn this back to dere on me, you fuck, i have to be dere at you first!]

I'm glad... If it helped you at all, then I'm glad...

But how are you back?

[appraiser]

[ no, ryoji has to be deredere forever ]

How? I don't know for certain, just guesses, or hopes.

[ The power of love and friendship?? To be honest, it's what he's leaning towards, hinted in that video he'd sent off into the world but doesn't say out loud, because that would be too egotistical, like playing god. ]

[cattack]

[she nods...]

... Regardless, don't... Please, never let this happen again. I'll protect you next time, so... Please.

[appraiser]

[ ...Ryoji pulls away, stepping back to look Cleo over. ]

I can't promise that, you shouldn't either.

[ She's idealistic, a lot like when he was just a little younger. As a child, he was more realistic about how the world works, but he'd let go of that, dared to dream and hope and... then the world crumbled beneath his feet, again and again and sometimes, it was because of him. He'd broken too many promises already, and he won't make any more. ]

[cattack]

[She's idealistic. Her ideals are all she has, honestly. Her entire identity, her entire sense of self is based on her ideals. Being strong, protecting others, it's all she lives for, it's who she is.

So Ryoji's words hurt.]

Even so... I will promise. I don't take that lightly. So that means, I definitely will uphold my promise. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. Whatever it takes...

[appraiser]

Don't. I understand what you mean— "I'll protect you however I can." "I'll do my best not to let anything like that happen to you again." Those sort of promises I can stand.

[ They can't be so absolute. Because then, when he's out of options, he can get his hopes up about somebody coming to him with a miracle. And when that miracle fails, he can only be disappointed in himself for hoping. ]

[cattack]

... Then, please. If you're ever in trouble, call me.

[it chafes, it burns, the compromise like swallowing poison. But it's for Rhinos sake. Ryoji, who reached out to her when she was scared and confused and alone. Ryoji who helped her get over her fear of going outside after Retrospec changed her.

If he wants a different sort of promise, he'll get it.]

[appraiser]

[ Ryoji doesn't answer, not right away.

That's something he would have normally agreed readily to, but again the events of the past month have shaken him to the point of not wanting to believe in absolutes. His phone had died two days in, and even his mental connection with Minako had been severed. The only people who they as a team could rely on were themselves, and there would be a time where the only person Ryoji could rely on is himself. ]

If I'm able to. [ Not the answer Cleo's hoping for, and he knows it, but he simply claps Cleo on the back and nods his head towards the gym so they can go inside instead loitering in front of the building where people are coming in and out. ] Then I won't hesitate to call you. I promise.

[cattack]

I... Wait a moment.

[As he starts to walk in, Cleo grabs his arm.]

Instead of this... Will you come with me for a bit instead?

[appraiser]

[ "Instead" catches Ryoji off-guard, but he reasons he did put Cleo on the spot before in choosing where to go. ]

Sure. Where to?

[ Please don't be the police station, which is what he remembers her other most familiar place to be. ]

[cattack]

No, this way. It... won't be far.

[She'll all but pull him towards her bike, and then once he's on, takes off. And, indeed, as she says, it doesn't take long, before she pulls up to their destination.

The coffee shop where he and Minako had first taken her when she grew her ears.]

I know you don't need to eat anymore, but... I thought this would be good anyway...

[appraiser]

[ It's Expressive... A smile, however small, had started to grow on his face the moment he recognized the route they were taking and where they would possibly end up. He hops off the bike and clasps his hands behind his back as he stares up at the storefront, then over at Cleo. ]

This is one of my favorite places in the entire city, you know. I come here a lot, but usually on my own. It's a good place.

[cattack]

I'm glad...

[She just. Lets out a relieved sigh.]

I ended up coming here a few times, while you were gone.

[appraiser]

I'm glad you've come to like it too, enough to come back. Did a lot happen while I was gone?

[cattack]

No... It was rather quiet. And I think it will remain that way... Or I hope, at least.

[for another few days before i break people's bones]

[appraiser]

[ I like that it's people in plural ]

That's good...

[ Ryoji pushes through the door, looking around for the barista first before turning to see what window seats are free. ]

I sort of thought I'd never see peace again, but I'm glad if things would be calm and quiet from now on.

[cattack]

[TECHNICALLY ONLY ONE PERSON GETS BONES BROKEN

the other just gets bones dislocated

oops]

As quiet as Retrospec will let us be...

[She takes a window seat with a small smile.]

I'm glad you're back here. This place suits you.

[appraiser]

[ cleo........ ]

This place? The cafe?

[cattack]

[DON'T JUDGE HER]

... Yes. You seem happier here, if that makes sense.

[appraiser]

...Oh.

[ He smiles a little at that, leaning back onto his seat and closing his eyes. ]

It's because there's somebody I like here.