[video] forward dated to 9/13

[appraiser]

Ryoji Mochizuki shared a video.
09/13 near Apprassage

[ The video starts up, dark, silent. A bedroom, if an empty desk and neatly made bed and too many cardboard boxes count as a bedroom, and then the view flips over with a soft ] Oh. [ as the user finds the front-facing camera instead of the rear that he always uses on his phone. ]

Hi... It's been a while.

[ The bottom half of the screen blurs as Ryoji draws his knees to his chest where he sits on bare floorboards, phone in his hands. He doesn't introduce himself— doesn't need to, when his name is up there for people who don't know him, his face right here for people who do: the people he's recording this video for, whispers in an empty room. ]

I'm back. I know there are probably questions as to why, or how... and I can't really explain it well myself. But I'll answer the best I can, if you want to ask, texting or in person.

[ Ryoji sits up a little straighter now, looks a little more serious. This is what he meant to say: a confession. ]

But before that, I want to say that I'm glad to be back, however it happened... a second chance like this. I also want to be more upfront about myself, and there are things I want to say to a lot of people.

There was a time in the past where I was a monster: I'd hurt a lot of people, and I ran from all of that, hid myself away, and pretended it hadn't happened. The memories I've been experiencing, I kept the good ones close, the bad even closer, pretending they weren't real and that they have nothing to do with me. I thought... that it would be better to forget about all of that and return to a simpler time. Unconsciously, I think that's what I did. I went back to before everything happened, to start over, and do better this time. But I got it wrong. I made myself forget, but I wasn't forgotten...

[ He's rambling now, a little, so he turns his eyes away from the screen, staring off at something in the distance- it's the moon reflected in his eyes, only half. ]

There's somebody I still need to say goodbye to, but after that... I want to see so many of you. I owe a lot of "thank you"s and "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s, and I want to be with people again. I don't want to leave this world or its people ever again.

So... I'll see you guys soon.




( ooc: forward dated to 9/13 to give myself a buffer. replies can be via text, or an in-person if you want to fast-forward to ryoji showing up at your character's house/class/chance meeting at some cafe/hi roommates/he'll be finding people around town somehow. for his cr, please assume he checked up on them, whether it's handwaved or not! )

Comments

[appraiser]

If I'm not happy, then I'm trying to become happy. Is that weird?

[lalliho]

[Siiiigh, he would really like to nap, but that's not happening, so he's going to get to his feet and put the rest of this food in the fridge. Sorry, melty cheese. You're gonna get bad.]

Probably not. But it's weird if you're not happy and you're smiling and flirting with people you barely know. That's just lying.

[appraiser]

[ Next time, Lalli would choose a better delivery boy, because Ryoji also gets up and patters behind him to the fridge to continue the conversation. He has to stay close so Lalli can see and hear how earnest he is. ]

Flirting isn't lying! None of those words are lies.

[lalliho]

[Jesus. He shoots him daggers, holding up a hand to halt Ryoji and then taking a few steps back. Just. Space.]

You're still pretending things are fine when they aren't. I do not want someone flirting with me to make themselves feel better.

[appraiser]

I don't want people worrying about me and trying to cheer me up.

[ a pause ]

Also I've never flirted with you ever in my life.

[lalliho]

You want to cheer up by talking with people, but don't want people to cheer you up? That's stupid.

[Stop? Being stupid? Also, this is nonsense. He doesn't know anything about flirting, and yet he's almost positive that's what it was.]

Good. But I don't believe you.

[appraiser]

I want to be able to cheer myself up, and I can do that by talking to people. They don't need to do anything more for me in return.

[ He tries to reason it out, but is having just as much luck as he would convincing Lalli that he doesn't flirt. aka he can say all he wants, but the onus of believing isn't on him. ]

[lalliho]

[Unfortunately, it's a way of thinking that Lalli can't wrap his head around, no matter how much he tries. His brain just...doesn't follow the same tracks. Normally he's fine with letting the misunderstanding go, having accepted the gap in communication at times, but he wanted to try this time. It matters a lot to Ryoji... Not necessarily this conversation, but connecting with one another in general.

So yeah, he's irritated that they aren't able to see eye to eye on this.]

I don't get it. Why do you want to do everything and not have other people try? They need to do stuff too, if you're going to. It's not fair otherwise. That doesn't...feel like how friendship should be.

[appraiser]

[ There's a strong sense of déjà vu in this conversation, which has Ryoji just staring at Lalli until it clicks. This is the conversation he's had before when talking about love, how he wasn't being fair with that either, and he'd "lost" that conversation. ]

...Because I'm the only factor that I can control. If a friendship isn't working out, that means I'm just not putting enough effort into understanding the other person.

[lalliho]

Or that they suck.

[Like. Just sayin'. Anyway, this time he's sitting on the arm of the sofa, then falling back to lay on half of it. Mmn, not being vertical...so nice.]

Friendship is hard. I'm tired of talking about it.

[appraiser]

[ People don't suck! ...but friendship is hard, sometimes, so Ryoji takes a seat on the other half of the sofa, sitting properly because he can't lie down on it with Lalli there. ]

What are your plans for today?

[lalliho]

Mmmn...

[Is...is that all...]

Internet, I guess. Probably binge watch something. I don't know.

[appraiser]

Caaaaaan I watch with you? I'll be still and quiet, I promise.

[lalliho]

[peeps one eye open...considering...]

...How do you feel about Ghost Adventures?

[appraiser]

I've never seen it, but I like ghosts. I mean, sometimes they want to kill you, but sometimes they just want to dance. Like any person.

[lalliho]

Sure.

[He doesn't think there are dancing ghosts, but whatever. Lalli struggles to right himself again, lumbering back to his computer and click-clacking away at the keyboard. Then he comes back, sitting...sort of normally, legs drawn up as he wedges himself in the crook of the arm, and pokes around a remote. Big tv comes to life, showcasing people with wide eyes filmed using night vision. Lalli was in the middle of an episode already...]

It's pretty stupid. [He loves it.]

[appraiser]

[ Okay, yeah, he can jump right into the middle of an episode and play catch up, though he has to physically bite his tongue to keep from rattling off questions— who's that? what's her name? what's going on? where are they? what are they doing?— because he made that promise to keep silent. He regrets that a lot, but he's pretty good at sitting still when absorbed in watching something. ]