[video] forward dated to 9/13

[appraiser]

Ryoji Mochizuki shared a video.
09/13 near Apprassage

[ The video starts up, dark, silent. A bedroom, if an empty desk and neatly made bed and too many cardboard boxes count as a bedroom, and then the view flips over with a soft ] Oh. [ as the user finds the front-facing camera instead of the rear that he always uses on his phone. ]

Hi... It's been a while.

[ The bottom half of the screen blurs as Ryoji draws his knees to his chest where he sits on bare floorboards, phone in his hands. He doesn't introduce himself— doesn't need to, when his name is up there for people who don't know him, his face right here for people who do: the people he's recording this video for, whispers in an empty room. ]

I'm back. I know there are probably questions as to why, or how... and I can't really explain it well myself. But I'll answer the best I can, if you want to ask, texting or in person.

[ Ryoji sits up a little straighter now, looks a little more serious. This is what he meant to say: a confession. ]

But before that, I want to say that I'm glad to be back, however it happened... a second chance like this. I also want to be more upfront about myself, and there are things I want to say to a lot of people.

There was a time in the past where I was a monster: I'd hurt a lot of people, and I ran from all of that, hid myself away, and pretended it hadn't happened. The memories I've been experiencing, I kept the good ones close, the bad even closer, pretending they weren't real and that they have nothing to do with me. I thought... that it would be better to forget about all of that and return to a simpler time. Unconsciously, I think that's what I did. I went back to before everything happened, to start over, and do better this time. But I got it wrong. I made myself forget, but I wasn't forgotten...

[ He's rambling now, a little, so he turns his eyes away from the screen, staring off at something in the distance- it's the moon reflected in his eyes, only half. ]

There's somebody I still need to say goodbye to, but after that... I want to see so many of you. I owe a lot of "thank you"s and "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s, and I want to be with people again. I don't want to leave this world or its people ever again.

So... I'll see you guys soon.




( ooc: forward dated to 9/13 to give myself a buffer. replies can be via text, or an in-person if you want to fast-forward to ryoji showing up at your character's house/class/chance meeting at some cafe/hi roommates/he'll be finding people around town somehow. for his cr, please assume he checked up on them, whether it's handwaved or not! )

Comments

[appraiser]

That's good.

[ He doesn't move where he stands either, not knowing how to say goodbye, and not ready to say hello to anybody else. ]

...I want to be able to greet people with a smile, but that's not being very considerate of their feelings, is it?

[thesettingsun]

...I guess not. I don't think you can get them to act like everything's okay even if you do smile.

[It's not a simple 'welcome back', even if they'd all like it to be.]

[appraiser]

Why is dying so complicated...

[ Things he never thought he'd say ]

I guess I'll just have to face people and be at their mercy.

[thesettingsun]

I don't think dying and coming back to life was ever going to be simple, Ryoji.

[He's kind of concerned Ryoji thought it was??]

[appraiser]

Coming back to life is what makes it complicated. [ but before Shuji can interject- ] I'm not saying it's a bad thing it happened, or that I wish I hadn't! It's just... complicated.

[ So many things he wouldn't have to deal with on the account of staying dead. But the chance to get to push through hardships again, he wouldn't give that up. ]

[thesettingsun]

...Stopping is always simpler for the person who stops.

[Maybe that's why his past self did that intentionally.]

[appraiser]

...Yeah. But if it doesn't work, there's so much regret. [ After death is emptiness, what that's what scares him the most. Disappearing, as if he'd never existed. ] I think I would take the pain of living, if it meant I would still live.

[thesettingsun]

You can't have happiness without the risk of pain. Otherwise there's just nothing.

[Shuji doesn't remember being dead, only dying - but he thinks this much is self-evident.]

[appraiser]

[ Right. He's not going to think about the nothingness, not if he can help it. So he straightens up, arms stretched up above his head to rid the stiffness in his back. ]

I think I'm ready to face those again. Seeing you has made me really happy, Shuji. Hopefully that was enough pain to tide us over to the next several decades.

[thesettingsun]

[He's glad he could make Ryoji happy after all of that.]

That's probably enough bad fortune for a while. Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket.

[appraiser]

I should, huh... Apparently Minako threw me a funeral, so I have to pay her back. If I buy out every lottery ticket in Recollé, I'll have to win, right? Do you think the winnings will offset the cost?

[thesettingsun]

I don't think she's going to be thinking about the cost of the funeral right now...

[DON'T ACTUALLY DO THAT]

[appraiser]

[ He's going to do it. It's easy money and he's one of those suckers who will 100% get sucked into the lottery trap. ]

That's all the more reason to pay her back, before something comes up and she needs the money. I'll take care of it, so thanks for the suggestion!

[thesettingsun]

Don't actually buy all the tickets? Maybe one or two?

[RYOJI NO]

[appraiser]

My luck isn't that good, Shuji. Look at-

[ gestures to himself. basically everything that's ever happened to him, he's a walking disaster. ]

Maybe I'll buy everything except one or two. All of them might be overkill.

[thesettingsun]

If you only buy a couple, it's not that much of a loss if you don't win. If you buy a ton, you'll have wasted a lot more money.

[appraiser]

Aren't lottery tickets only a dollar apiece? A dollar isn't very much.

[thesettingsun]

How many tickets do you think there are, if you buy all of them?

[appraiser]

I think if I pull all my savings out of the bank, I can afford a couple hundred thousand. Would that be enough?

[thesettingsun]

If you buy a hundred thousand lottery tickets I'm going to take away your allowance.

[appraiser]

No! I need that money to buy lotto tickets!

[thesettingsun]

Spend your money responsibly or not at all.

[...he doesn't even give Ryoji an allowance.]

[appraiser]

Fine. Only one thousand lottery tickets. And coffees every other day. Is that responsible enough?

[ Shuji might not give Ryoji an allowance but he probably should be the one in charge of it ]

[thesettingsun]

Ten lottery tickets maximum. Coffees are allowed without restriction.

[appraiser]

Coffees cost more than tickets...

[ And he can only drink maybe two coffees a day. How else is he supposed to waste all his money? ]