retrospec | (no subject)

... You're really fine with everything that's happening? It seems... Stressful.

Mr. Aizawa said you weren't in class for a while too.

...Not really. [and just like that his smile crashes and burns.

Cutter looks at the ground, trying to find a way to say what he feels while still making it sound like it's not such a big deal. It's just teeth after all, right?

(His fingers clench into fists at the thought.)]

Truth be told that must've happened back when I got my fangs. All my normal teeth had to go before they could grow in so things got a bit messy for a couple of days.

........... I wasn't really happy with that, but what can I do? I think I'm slowly getting used to them.

As for the rest, you know how I feel about the whole retrospec and remembering our 'other lives' deal. That hasn't really changed. I'm just past the point of freaking out over and over again. Now I'm doing my best to figure out what I can do.

...

[He was the one who asked, so now he has to do... something about it. But he doesn't really know and he's pretty garbage at comforting people. Or at least he thinks so, anyway.]

Yeah... I know. I know it's not a lot, and I know it can't really change anything. But... Mom says talking about your problems can help. Just getting it out there, you know?

I guess we're in the acceptance stage of whatever Restrospec is putting us through.

Haha, yeah! Your mom sounds like a wise woman who knows what she's talking about!

[He laughs and perks up, making sure to bury his nasty little feelings of helplessness and frustration right back where they came from.]

But 'acceptance stage,' huh? I wonder what it is we've been grieving in that case.

[Probably themselves and their loss of it. He doesn't voice those thoughts, though.]

In any case, it took us long enough to get there too, I'd say. Time to count our losses and move on to bigger wins, right?

My mom is the best.

[Even if the reality of her is... questionable at best. He still loves her, and he doesn't doubt that.]

Ourselves, probably.

Yeah... I wish I was as forward as you are about things. There's gotta be an up somewhere.

Haha, that's never gonna change about you! You're such a momma's boy, I don't get how anybody could ever get scared of you!

[Even when he can sling fire and ice Shouto is still a model son when it comes to his mother. That's gotta be real family love!]

But you think? I dunno if you can really call me all that forward, I mean apparently we're both coming from some super heroes world and I don't even remember running around half naked or wearing some spandex underwear over my pants! That's pretty chaste as far as superheroes go, right?

Who said they were scared of me? [He looks utterly bewildered for a moment.]

Running around half naked sounds really cold. It's probably better this way... I think?

Do you remember something about a sports festival? I do and you were one of the finalists - people were sorry for whoever had to go up against you!

[He says it in a way that makes it obvious that it's meant as a compliment. Shouto being this crazy strong and making it that far in what he remembered admittedly as a pretty crazy contest is pretty manly after all!]

Do you even still get cold? Or can you use your fire to just warm yourself up whenever you feel a chill?

I remember fighting Izuku and the calvary battle there.

[He gives an amused huff at the compliment. That's the other him who's actually aware of his powers and knows how to use them properly.]

No. I automatically adjust to whatever the weather is like. ... I still like sweaters though.

[Cutter hums in agreement even though his own memories of the details and exact match-ups are still fuzzy.]

It's strange sometimes I feel like there's something that should make it important to me, but from what I remember it was just a sports tournament in the end. I mean, besides that crazy showdown between you and Izuku~

Wait, so does that mean that your body is that of Frosty the Snowman in the winter and Scaldy McHot in the summer? It's pretty impressive, pal!

... Did you fight somebody in the festival too? Maybe that's it.

[He looks up to the sky for a moment before snorting and shaking his head.]

My body is warmer in the winter and colder during the summer. It depends which side of me you're on too though.

...I dunno. Maybe? I think I fought.

[He probably shouldn't frame it as a question, but his memory is really fuzzy whenever it comes to his own involvement. Maybe because it was one of the first things he remembered.

All thoughts about people he should remember are forgotten at the new implication of Shouto's words.]

Ohhhh, really~? Then I can do this and just use you as an oven or a freezer whenever it gets too hot or cold?!

[There's no warning, just Cutter trying to drape himself over Shouto's shoulders to the best of his abilities like a real friend (meaning without any regards for how heavy he is or that he's invading Shoutos personal bubble at all).]

[Shouto is startled out of whatever he was going to do and just allows it to happen.]

H-huh...?

[His left side does start to heat up a bit.]

Ahhhh~ That's so warm! You're the best, bro, I feel like a cat that found the perfect spot in a batch of sun lying on you! I'm gonna stay like this for the rest of winter, ok?

[He laughs, squirming a little so that he can get more contact between his chest and Shouto's warm side, making a pleased little noise when he succeeds.]

I can't believe you're using me like this.

[He says it so dryly, but it's very clear he doesn't mind, since he makes no attempt to get away.]

I can't believe you're letting me use you like this.

[He shoots right back, only lifting his head so that he can grin cheekily up at Shouto.]

[The softest little huff.]

It's only because I like you.

And I'm only feeling comfy doing this because I like you too.

[He grins and settles his chin onto Shouto's shoulder before he relents and lets go, drawing back enough that Shouto can get out of his grasp if he chooses to.]

You know that I like you for more than just your body temperature, tho, right? I wonder if our other selves have done the same thing before.

[Shouto continues to make no move to get out of it. He's content here, with his friend's arms around him. It's been a long day, and he could use this.]

I know. ... I don't know if they do, but I hope they did. You're a good friend to have.

[After waiting what he guesses is a full minute or two Cutter just drapes himself back over Shouto with a small sigh.]

I'm usually not that touchy, you know. Just for the record. But you feel just right.

[Like it's normal exchanging casual touches. Usually Cutter feels like he has to be on edge when he's touching with somebody other than his family but Shouto feels... Normal, he guesses. Familiar already, even through they met not that terribly long ago.]

Same here, you're a good pal to have. Although I guess I won't be able to do this when you have a girlfriend.

I wouldn't let most people hang off of me like this, you know.

[He echoes right back.

There's just a handful of people he's comfortable with. And Cutter is right there, Shouto will allow things like this when he's comfortable enough.

There's a pause as he rewinds what Cutter just said. Girlfriend?]

... It would be a boyfriend. If I was dating somebody, it'd be a boy.

[He tenses for a moment, feeling intensely uncomfortable with the sudden implications of their proximity.]

....Oh.

[But Shouto would tell him if they were crossing a line here, right? Cutter's face scrunches up in thought as he tries to figure out his feelings on the subject matter. Does he mind the idea that Shouto might be gay? ....Nooo, not really. Does he feel good or comfortable with it? That's not really it either, but he also doesn't mind so....

He shrugs his shoulders.]

I guess some manly men like other men. Are you- ...you know, just for guys or guys and girls alike?

[Shouto would definitely say something if he was actually uncomfortable with something. He would've gotten up or pushed Cutter away.

But this? This is perfectly fine.]

Just guys, I think. I've never really had crushes on girls before.

Huh. I can't say I understand 'cause I really don't, but then I guess I haven't really felt any serious attraction for anyone yet either. Just like ...thinking somebody's body is looking really good, or like, ..being really impressed with what they think or do, I guess?

[He rests his head back on Shouto's shoulder and hums, a verbal version of a shrug.]

But I guess I'm 'both teams', indirectly, if I had to say. Caring about whether somebody is a boy or a girl when you really love them wouldn't be manly at all.