When It's Late and Cold and the Dreams and Fog Get Old

[feistytrader]

Go on, try me. One of my roommates comes to me for advice all the time, and I'd say he's a pretty satisfied customer. I mean, just today he asked me how many flowers is too many flowers and I told him that if he had too many, he could always sacrifice a few to spread some petals on his bed. I'm sure his boyfriend would get a kick out of that. I couldn't tell you if he liked that or the flower crown suggestion better.

Anyway, I mean it. If you've got any questions, I come equipped with an honest, expert answer for any situation.

[Nothing about his advice is expert, but he can do honest... Or at least stupid. Whatever helps him procrastinate on getting to sleep.]

Comments

[twostringsonebow]

that is, you turned the very innocent question i asked into something much worse. i am never asking for advice ever again.

[feistytrader]

You know Goro, unless you've been announcing it to everyone, most people don't know we're roommates.

[Boy you played yourself-]

[twostringsonebow]

i'm going out don't talk to me

[feistytrader]

wait come back
i still have some bottled vinegar

[twostringsonebow]

So what.

[feistytrader]

I'll share some with you?
It's my only comfort in these dark times.

[twostringsonebow]

Silver.
I am not participating in the oddly ritualistic consumption of vinegar with you again.
It's disgusting.

[feistytrader]

You're the one that filled all of my drinks with vinegar. Take your lumps.
Besides, it's weirdly invigorating.

[twostringsonebow]

I have yet to see your revenge for that excellent prank of ours
but don't think I'm looking forward to it.
I'll stay though. It isn't like I'm expected anywhere tonight.

[his date was Earlier--]

[feistytrader]

Good. Then ask me about something like you're supposed to.

[Thus begins hanging right next to each other while talking online, like proper roommates.]

[twostringsonebow]

[... mmmm.]

What sort of tips would you give for a first timer?

[feistytrader]

[...Jesus, Goro is moving quick.]

Take your time, don't worry about being awkward because you both are going to be awkward, shower first?

[twostringsonebow]

[??????????? Those are so... obvious? Maybe he doesn't have anything to worry about with his first real relationship.]

Is that really all?

[feistytrader]

Make sure you use good communication. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want. Don't trick yourself into thinking it won't taste that bad.

[twostringsonebow]

[............ The last one is a little weird... but he trusts Silver.]

I don't think I have to worry about the last point, Silver, everything from my significant other tastes wonderful.

[feistytrader]

If you already know that, then why are you asking me for advice?

[twostringsonebow]

Isn't it important to seek wisdom where one can? Regardless if one has experienced it themselves, you should never turn away from another's opinion.

[feistytrader]

Goro, what are you referring to right now?

[twostringsonebow]

Um.
First time relationships?

[????]

[feistytrader]

Right. That's what I thought.

[...Goro is right next to him. That is absolutely not what he thought.]

[twostringsonebow]

[... Silver, he can see you???]

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, then.
Anything else?

[feistytrader]

Protection is important, even if you're a guy. That's all.

[twostringsonebow]

What are you




don't run.

[HE IS RIGHT BESIDE YOU??? HE IS GOING TO HIT YOU. LIKE, REALLY. HE'S EMBARRASSED AND SLAPPING SILVER'S SHOULDER THAT HAS NOT COME UP IN THE LEAST.]

[feistytrader]

[You jerk, you're the one who-]

You wanted advice for first timers. What was I supposed to think?

[twostringsonebow]

Your faith is admirable, Silver.
You're just lucky that those tips can be applied to my actual inquiry as well.
Most of them.

[ohhhhhh my godddddddddddddddd]