retrospec | (no subject)

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so hey, anybody else think it's kind of weird all of this stuff is happening lately and the 13th is on a friday this month? i am just saying.

but because of that, i want to ask you guys something! superstitions. do you believe in them? do you have them? what do you think about the really common ones like broken mirrors, walking under ladders, oooor…you know, black cats crossing your path? and by crossing i mean maybe like crossing and weaving through your ankles and probably tripping you on the sidewalk while following you around town?

just wondering. for no reason whatsoever.

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IM NOT TAKING THE FUN OUT IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE THE POINT THAT PEOPLE CONTROL THEIR OWN DESTINIES!!!!!!!!!

GOSH JOHNATHAN!!!!!

But you know what
I'm not even mad

I'm not even mad

Because

That sounds really
Hot

DESTINIES ARE STILL JUST LIKE MAGIC AYANO!! GOOOOOOOOSH.

...

i should be mad at that pun, but i am actually more mad i laughed. good one.

i cant believe I've won johnathan egberts heart

you absolutely did. congratulations. you are the winner. what are you going to do with it now?

step on it and destroy it so that no other girl can have it

duh

whoa!!
ok first of all i am actually pretty sure you might be a few months late on that.
but second of all whoa!! that is pretty brutal!

aw johnathan

thats the point tho, if i destroy your heart no one can ever hurt you again : (

its my burden to be the girl that saves you from all other girls

(including myself)

and it is a very noble sacrifice you are making, really. it will be honored and everything.
that is sort of sweet in a fucked up way.
good thing i apparently have a new pet cat to ease my soul or whatever.

who needs a heart when you have a cute new pet???

pics, johnathan!!!

besides the fact i am pretty sure i will want to date again someday, i think a heart is maybe required to love the cute new pet.
also cute is. subjective.
i think she is cute but uh. she is not exactly a normal cat...?

you'll want to, but your heart belongs to my heels now
I will leave enough left of your heart for you to be capable of caring for your pet and platonic relationships with other human beings

retrospec mailed you the cat didn't they......

how generous, thanks!
but make sure you clean your shoes, i have heard heart is nearly impossible to remove once it dries up.

...it is possible, yes. i did not receive the cat in the mail or anything, she has just been following me everywhere for days and finally i picked her up and brought her inside.
but dave seems to think she might be from the same universe, yes.
it would explain some things.
even if it raises a whole bunch of other questions.
i never really felt like she belonged to me specifically. more like i have seen her before.

<3

are you gonna show me the cat or not
better yet you should bring the cat to me so i can pet it
did you know i never had any pets growing up
wtf mom and dad

i never had pets either. so i guess the cat is making up for that?
who knows.
i can bring you the cat sometime, sure, but she is still really small and we should probably make sure she can travel.
but ok.
remember the hammer and how you freaked out about that?
i need you to promise you won't freak out about the cat.

small things are cute i want one

SHUT UP ABOUT THE HAMMER!!!! IM NOT GONNA FREAK OUT
I ONLY FREAKED OUT ABOUT THE HAMMER B/C YOU PULLED IT OUT OF NOWHERE AND WERE LIKE WAVING IT AROUND LIKE AN AXEMURDERER READY TO BUST OPEN THE HEAD OF HIS NEXT VICTIM I.E ME

AND THEN YOU REFERRED TO IT AS WRINKLEFUCKER

HOW IS A GIRL SUPPOSED TO TAKE THAT, JOHNATHAN

"OH THANK GOODNESS YOU'VE GOT WRINKLEFUCKER ON THE CASE I WAS WORRIED FOR MY OWN SAFETY FOR A MOMENT"

Edited 2017-10-16 19:16 (UTC)

WELL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO CALL IT?

i did not name the hammer, ayano. that is simply what it is called.
also if i did not have the hammer you would still be stuck to a dream bench, think about that.
but ok.

[Give him a second and he will post a photo of his four-eyed cat. The pink scarf isn't in the picture ofc but I am too lazy to shop it out, let me live.]

is

is that a MUTANT KITTEN

its

its so cute

ITS KIND OF GROSS AND UNSETTLING BUT ITS SO CUTE

What's it's name???

i told you!
her name is mewpac macklemeow.
...dave named her.

why did he get to name it, it's YOUR cat

I'm just gonna call it mew because even mutant cats deserve respect

that is a question you are going to have to ask him.
mew is a cute nickname for her though, i think she will probably like it?
she has been enjoying the dorm and trying to eat my shoelaces and climbing on dave's shoulders.
i think this is normal cat behavior.

those do sounds like cat things i gotta admit

you're well on your way to pet owner of the year, in my opinion

i appreciate your opinion very much.
i just need to be a better cat-dad than dave, that is all i am going for here.

what is with you and dads

that is definitely another story for another time and not when my duty of being a dad is on the line here.

okay okay I'll stop dadgrilling you

I wish you and your new mutant cat child a happy life

(no subject)

windeity - 2017-10-17 18:17 (UTC) - Expand

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