ONE ― TEXT.

[puffing]

Bigby Wolf shared a photo. 2/15 near It Doesn't Fucking Matter

Disclaimer. DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU INTEND ON FUCKING AROUND. Has anyone seen this wallet? Specifically last night from the hours of around 8:00pm to 3:00am in downtown Tisse. You'll know it's mine when you see the pictures of Jade and/or Elizabeth. Or, you know, the goddamn credit cards with my name on it. There's a reward for anyone that so happens to conveniently "locate it" and brings it back to me. Another disclaimer. DO NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THE FUCK IT WAS LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE. Thank you for your time.

[ anyone who was with Bigby last night (hopefully adults...) will probably know how and why he lost his wallet. he got drunk. no one will likely know that Bigby is currently dealing with the worst hangover imaginable. that is because he texts like this all the time.

please feel free to "not ask questions" or message him to "not fuck around". ]

Comments

[darkinferno]

Dante Rantanen i don't know why you think warning people not to fuck around is going to prevent it
Dante Rantanen probably more likely to draw people in to give you shit than anything else
Dante Rantanen is the reward for finding your wallet all the cards in it? because i'm betting that's what whoever found it's going with

[ :) ]

[puffing]

Bigby Wolf You say "more likely" as if you aren't in that same group.
Bigby Wolf Just cut the shit and admit you've come in to troll me as a way of passing time.
Bigby Wolf Would honestly recommend a better hobby, but hey. What do I know? I lost my fucking wallet and went to the internet to seek help.

[darkinferno]

Dante Rantanen obviously i am
Dante Rantanen i didn't think i'd need to spell that one out for you detective
Dante Rantanen isn't it your job to put the pieces together on your own?
Dante Rantanen at least you're self-aware enough to realize you brought this on yourself

[puffing]

Bigby Wolf You're a patronizing little shit, aren't you?

[ soRRY...... ]

Bigby Wolf I'll say this again and hope everyone sees it.
Bigby Wolf My job is to investigate murders. Dead people. Try to find the guy or gal that thought it was a good idea to end someone's life.
Bigby Wolf I'd like to think I'm pretty damn good at what I do if you consider the fact that there's no one getting killed in the city right now.
Bigby Wolf If that means I'm not entitled to losing personal belongings like everyone else, that's news to me. I got drunk and lost something. It's a consequence of being. You know. Drunk.
Bigby Wolf If you don't have a tip or an idea, move along. Plenty of other pictures and videos on this shady-ass app for you to comment on.

[darkinferno]

Dante Rantanen i'm not exactly trying to hide that fact

[all these people thinking that calling him on being an asswipe is going to do anything about it!! jeez, it's gonna take more than that to make dante stop being a douche]

Dante Rantanen i'm not saying you're not entitled to lose things
Dante Rantanen i'm mocking your choice to post about it in a public forum and then get pissed when people react in ways you don't want them to
Dante Rantanen especially considering that being as unnecessarily combative as you are automatically invites mockery
Dante Rantanen besides, you aren't special. look around and you'll see a lot of people getting the same treatment

[the same treatment by him, specifically. he's been enjoying himself.]

[puffing]

[ dw, Bigby deals with the douche type all day long. kind of his job as a douche detective himself. ]

Bigby Wolf See, this is the part that would make me laugh if I had an ounce of energy to do just that.
Bigby Wolf If you think this is me pissed off, your scope is in need of some serious adjusting. It requires the patience of a saint to deal with kids like you on a normal day, and today just so happens to be the exact opposite of a normal goddamned day.
Bigby Wolf You're lucky I am even bothering to think of a response to your cocky ass, entitled attempts at prodding me.
Bigby Wolf But if you want to keep it up in an effort to get your dick bigger, then by all fucking means, get those juices flowing. Might as well make your words worthwhile if this whole "mocking" thing ends up being your modus operandi.

[darkinferno]

Dante Rantanen okay let me rephrase
Dante Rantanen "pissed" is the wrong word
Dante Rantanen my bad for not whipping out the thesaurus to find the most apt one in the first place i didn't realize this was an english essay
Dante Rantanen i'm mocking your choice to specifically add on disclaimers WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS AS IF THAT WOULD HELP YOUR CAUSE basically inviting people to fuck with you and then bitching about it when people took you up on the challenge
Dante Rantanen and for future reference, if you really want to convince someone you don't care?
Dante Rantanen the whole "you're lucky i'm even bothering to respond to you!" and attacks on the size of my dick don't help your cause to look like you don't give a shit

[trolling 101, really.]