ONE ― TEXT.

[puffing]

Bigby Wolf shared a photo. 2/15 near It Doesn't Fucking Matter

Disclaimer. DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU INTEND ON FUCKING AROUND. Has anyone seen this wallet? Specifically last night from the hours of around 8:00pm to 3:00am in downtown Tisse. You'll know it's mine when you see the pictures of Jade and/or Elizabeth. Or, you know, the goddamn credit cards with my name on it. There's a reward for anyone that so happens to conveniently "locate it" and brings it back to me. Another disclaimer. DO NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THE FUCK IT WAS LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE. Thank you for your time.

[ anyone who was with Bigby last night (hopefully adults...) will probably know how and why he lost his wallet. he got drunk. no one will likely know that Bigby is currently dealing with the worst hangover imaginable. that is because he texts like this all the time.

please feel free to "not ask questions" or message him to "not fuck around". ]

Comments

[hjack69]

better
now compose an epic poem about my abs
in limerick form

I hate u

[daemonized]

Jack's abs are wrought from a dream
In the glistening sunlight they gleam
Perfection at hand
A god of a man
Only the jealous would call it obscene

i don't have time to do any of these other tags so have this

[puffing]

GET THIS BULLSHIT OUT OF HERE
my god it's like you assholes don't know how to be properly hungover or something

[daemonized]

And if I choose to nurse my hangovers with [bad] poetry, who are you to judge?

[puffing]

I'm the judge, jury and goddamned executioner.
So this is me killing this conversation about Jack's abs.
You keep feeding him and the next picture will be more south.
Think of the kids.

[daemonized]

Are you just jealous I didn't write you a poem too, Bigby? I can if you like.

[puffing]

You know what?
No? No.
I've dealt with you on an intimate level enough for one week. One year. One lifetime.

[daemonized]

Were the handcuffs too much for you to handle?

[puffing]

Yeah, kind of.
I think that's a fair response?
I let you fucking handcuff me. Come on.

[hjack69]

what are you jealous i can limerick too
in fact heres one just for you biggs

there once was a man from nantucket

[puffing]

WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING SLEEPING OR IN A GUTTER SOMEWHERE
JESUS

not sorry

[twelfthspark]

So like

Are you going to make out or what?

[daemonized]

I'd never shatter the lingering mystery by /telling/ you. I'll leave your imagination to do the work.

[twelfthspark]

[That it is, in abundance. Oops.]

That sounds an awful lot like a "yes" with plausible deniability~ Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

[daemonized]

It sounds to me as if you're interpreting it only how you like. But I'm not one for disillusioning others.

[so he won't argue with you, basically!]

[hjack69]

i will have you know ardyn and i would conduct our possible romantic congress in private like good decent people if we are or arent doing that

[twelfthspark]

I'm just saying you aren't exactly subtle? lol

i'm fucking crying

[hjack69]

just what i needed today darling ty

i regret everything

[daemonized]

I'm here all week, to soothe hangovers the world over with flattering limericks.