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[recollecters]

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Comments

[parodeity]

[ continued from here ]

what no why would i
im not a heathen rox
i know not to touch another persons sandwich w/out express permission
when did you last have your pbj

[voideity]

yesterday 3:14pm
in the kitchen at the table
i got up bc i realized i forgot my phone in my room
& god FORBID i eat a meal w/o it
then i realized i had hw due so i had to get my laptop right
but fuck me i couldnt find it
it was in my car bc ofc it was
by the time i got back
poof
the pbj was gone
just crumbs on a gd plate
they didnt even clean the plate dave
THEY DIDNT EVEN CLEAN THE PLATE

[parodeity]

ok well
i mean
i guess your suspect list is me rose mom and dad right
or
one of the pets
do cats eat pbj im not actually sure
i feel like they SHOULDNT
but that doesnt mean jack shit to cats generally

[voideity]

yeah unless dirk popped by
but he woulda left more signs if he ate it
like an essay on philosophy horse motocross
mom would have cleaned the plate
then loudly said IM SO GLAD MY KIDS CLEAN UP AFTER THEY EAT HMMMM up the stairs
idk maybe
cats will eat anything
id suspect wolfgang or beast
but if it was beast ill never know
bc no way i can accuse roseys cat of pbj theft

[parodeity]

ok but lets be honest for a second here beast would definitely eat a full sandwich
like
hes huge
he could fit it in there
also now i feel like i should do the dishes way to proxy guilt me about ma

[voideity]

gdi he would
he even dwarfs wolfgang
who is named for a whole gang of wolves
how do i tell rose her cat is a dirty pbj thief tho
lmao shit sorry bro

[parodeity]

do you have to tell her
you could just make another sandwich
ill make you another sandwich?

[voideity]

its the principle of the thing david
no im jk
ill make myself a new sandwich
lmao why would u make me a new one its not your fault ur twin sisters cat is a beast

[parodeity]

because i love you???

[voideity]

dawwwww ilu2 come here ill give u a hug and a grandma smooch

[parodeity]

why a grandma smooch thats the worst kind

[voideity]

wtf no way
grandma smooches are packed with LOVE

[parodeity]

and also lipstick and cheek pinches?

[voideity]

i like lipstick u may have noticed my collection houses 130 diff shades
cheek pinches are bc grandmas cant tell how old children are by sight
so they have to feel for babyfat

[parodeity]

that sounds more like an excuse a witch would use for like
testing how edible children are at any point in time
like shit are they fatty enough yet or do i gotta shove more hard candies @ them

[voideity]

i mean that could also be accurate
why do u think they prefer hard candies anyway
as opposed to soft candies old people can actually chew
are they hoping kids break their teeth or