Kitchen Nightmare [video]

[rygdea]

[After a brief hiatus on his part from all things social and media related, this odd post comes about towards the late evening. Fynn, who's all ready labeled as a "category four" hurricane in human form, appears on screen looking absolutely disheveled.

His hair is miraculous unscathed but the rest of him isn't. The collar of his blue shirt (holy shit! We can see blue again?!) has faint red speckles along there and a few burn marks.

Was someone playing with fire? Maybe. Well only if you considering having a hair raising battle in the kitchen against an eight-legged fiend to be a battle. Nevertheless, he's distraught, tired and cranky as all living hell right now.]

...So, I think I need to move. [The officer finally says as he lights up a cigarette.] I damn near burned down the entire complex trying to kill that thing but be damned if I didn't win.

[He takes a long drag on his cig as he just blankly at the screen. Fynn might be subtly reevaluating his life right about now. Those are the eyes of man doing some deep reflection.]

I'm sure that qualified as one of the three most scariest moments of my life.

Comments

[compendiem]

...Do you have to move if you already won?

[ ALSO WHAT DID YOU KILL he wants to ask but. ]

[rygdea]

[The comment causes him to pause.]

Good point. I managed to kill the winged menace in my kitchen without making the fire alarms go off.

I think all's well.

[compendiem]

Turkey?

[destiny_key]

omg what did you do???

[rygdea]

The question you should be asking, is what I didn't do.

I think I was just a little dramatic. Just a tad.

[destiny_key]

okay but why???
none of this actually tells me what happened???

[lesinset]

cute
thought you were a tough guy

[rygdea]

Listen, even tough guys have their not so "tough" moments!

You're using that "word" again, Tarr,

[rebellions]

the fuck did that poor kitchen do to you

also i hope you're not looking for a roommate here
because you sure as hell aren't making yourself look like a promising material for one

[rygdea]

First off, I work for RPD.
I make enough to afford a frickin' condo, k?
Second off, THERE WAS A BUG THE SIZE OF MASSACHUSETTS IN THERE!

I had to defend my home.

[vitis]

got an infestation?
:)

[rygdea]

THE FUCK IS THE SMILEY FOR?!

THIS IS NOT A SMILEY SITUATION, JACKASS!

[matchbreaker]

Didn't you only get that place recently, Fynn?

[rygdea]

Yes, Mom. I did.

Look, I'll get everything fixed up sooner than later! I have Jirou helping me.

[me_matey]

DUDE? DIDN'T YOU *JUST* GET THAT APARTMENT?

[rygdea]

[Fynn is definitely facepalming right now. Yep, totally.]

It's fine! It's all fine. I can get this all cleaned up, I swear it.

It might take a moment but---

[sakeplz]

awwwww and I helped you make it pretty!

guess Ill have to help you make it pretty again!

[rygdea]

You're a Godsend, Jirou! Everyone else is just being complete assholes about this.

This is serious, you know!?

[negativism]

Huh. I mean I already knew you were a hot mess some days but I didn't think you'd start taking it literally.

[ Even if you've got a massive crush on his best friend he's still going to tease. It's just a fact of life these days.

Not that he can talk considering recent events. ]

[rygdea]

...Get off Retrospec.

Like, just turn the shit down and close your phone. I can't deal with you today.

[Fynn should win an oscar for his melodramatic performance right now. This man is the hottest of messes. The King of the Idiots and the reigning champion of Foolishness.]

[voice because he can't aim a video very well]

[blessmefather]

Burned down? How did fire get involved in your chase after... Whatever it was you were trying to kill?

[voice]

[rygdea]

[Fynn can't help but groan a little once he hears Matt's voice. The only any this situation can get anymore embarrassing if his brother magically shows up to laugh at him. He realizes all too late this little post is going to end in mockery soon enough.

The stressed out officer takes a long drag on his cig before answering. Man, where's his coffee? Oh, yeah. It's in the fucking kitchen, of course.

Fuck.]

I..It's not completely burned. Just certain parts. It's not that bad.

[Please note how he won't say what he was trying to MURDER in the kitchen. He's too embarrassed.]

Video

[standalonehuman]

[Togusa doesn't even say anything for a few seconds, he is just giving the camera the most amused barely-holding-in laughter look. It takes him some time to find his voice.]

"I think we need a play-by-play. For posterity."

[floret]

Wow! What did the property manager say?

Video

[megatechbody]

[Mariko looks entertained, smiling slightly in her response video]

I think you turned on the cooking talent too high.