sketch 1。

[fabrefactions]

Does anyone have any tips for consuming a burger roughly the size of a hubcap in 28.35 minutes? I felt I was hungry enough to attempt this task, but it seems I may have overestimated my own abilities...

[ There's a picture of a rather sizeable burger alongside a smaller, regular one for comparisons sake. Anyone who has visited Big Bang Burger in Tisse may recognise the (completely obviously and definitely present in that picture) outer space themed decor of the place.

It seems Yusuke has somehow found himself taking on the eating challenge offered at the chain.]

It is quite pleasant, I must admit. But I feel that even for a challenge, and even armed with an empty stomach this would be quite the arduous task for one person to achieve without drastic preparation ahead of ti--

-- oh, my apologies. The previous information is incorrect. I have just been informed I have 25.10 minutes left to complete this task.

[ somEONE help him.]

Comments

[lastcomfort]

Oh, it looks delicious! What kind of bun is that?

[ Important questions. ]

[fabrefactions]

.... one made of bread?

[adoringpast]

staring at that thing alone is already giving me heart cholesterol

what the fuck are you even thinking?

[fabrefactions]

I was thinking I was hungry. I still am, although this will not be a problem for much longer I feel.

[redarm]

ill eat it.

[fabrefactions]

But I'm eating it.

[maskreant]

[ ohhhh nooooooooooooooo. ]

i can come help you? i didn't eat yet.

[fabrefactions]

[ ohhhhhh yeeeessssssss ]

...
... the lady behind the counter has just informed me sharing the meal counts as cheating and I will forfeit the challenge.

[ This wasn't cheap, Akira. ]

[mercurio]

why are you texting when you should be EATING THAT BURGER GO GO GO

[fabrefactions]

I was asking for advice. Surely someone here has completed a challenge such as this one and can offer tips?

[complementing]

oh my god

do you HAVE to eat it alone???

I'm sure we can rally some hungry people to help you...

[fabrefactions]

Apparently so.

I can see the logic, if many people were to share this it would not be as much of a challenge.

[fiddlestick]

That burger's bigger than my head.
I'm not sure eating it all is such a good idea Yusuke.

[fabrefactions]

I think it may be bigger than my head also.
Perhaps not but it was a good deal and I am unwilling to waste it.

[sketchythief]

maybe you should pace yourself and not eat too much at once...?

[fabrefactions]

there is a time limit, unfortunately. I can pace myself but it is still down to the wire.

[infreefall]

oh my god, it's huge! you have to eat that all by yourself?!

[ oh right, suggestions... hmm... ]

maybe if you don't drink anything you'll have more room for the burger?

[ her throat hurts just thinking about that, though. ]

[fabrefactions]

Apparently so. It is quite the challenge, but I suppose that was implied by the title...

Maybe it is a case of balancing sips of water to keep your throat lubricated, but not so much as to fill you up...?

[roseblooms]

...Did they by any chance have you sign some sort of waiver as a part of agreeing to take the challenge?

[fabrefactions]

Not that I recall? It's not spicy, so there's not health or safety warning.

[me_matey]

PROTIP: give it to me i will destroy that thing. it wont even be fair.

[fabrefactions]

...

You are welcome to come to the restaurant yourself and purchase a burger of your own.

[windowdressing]

Why are you even doing this?

[fabrefactions]

My stomach spoke to me, and demanded food.

[grumpei]

dont think just eat
and definitely dont waste time posting on here if youre on a time limit

[fabrefactions]

[ don't think, eat. inspirational. ]

I am able to multitask.

[ how??? ]

But any help you would like to offer is appreciated.

[faeblooded]

Water. Lots of water.

[Clearly, someone knew eating challenges well.]

And I'm game if you need a partner. That burger looks AWESOME.

[fabrefactions]

But wouldn't that fill up your stomach faster?

It is a pleasant burger, yes. Considering this is essentially a fast food restaurant.

[sunnyspot]

Listen, I hate to tell you this, but please just.

Cut your losses before you actually die.

[fabrefactions]

But right now I am still hungry?

Surely eating until I am full is acceptable.

[burningblossoms]

Oh my goodness!

Yusuke, why?! What on earth could have possessed you. It's like that plate is a portal to the meat dimension.

[fabrefactions]

... What is the meat dimension?

[ not the point, yusuke, but ok. ]

[gunsandveggies]

[The heck-]

What is that place?

[fabrefactions]

A new fast food restaurant that has opened up in Tisse. It's got quite a distinct aesthetic about it, even if it is a little too committed to it.

[justchords]

you don't, cut your losses and leave before you die

but if you're really stubborn, i guess call friends and tell them to help

[fabrefactions]

I think the second option would be more than doable...
I could probably feed a couple of them.

[parodeity]

do you have to eat it all alone or can you call in reinforcements

[fabrefactions]

If I wish to earn my badge for completing the Comet Burger Challenge... then no.

But I'm not sure I'm that worried about "ranking up".

[twostringsonebow]

[Oh no.]

My, what trouble you've found yourself in...
But you've also given me a new challenge for myself too.
(As long as Sena doesn't find out.)
That said: Most people tend to drink water to help things on the way down, and pacing is important as well. You also can't starve yourself in preparation; that actually does more harm than good, shrinking the stomach's size from disuse.
Instead, eating light things until a few hours before the event would be a good idea.
Though you didn't have any sort of preparation... nor time for it... I would simply suggest water, pacing, and throwing away any caution you have to the wind.

[fabrefactions]

As a fair warning, I believe your friend is now aware and critical of this particular challenge. But for a fast food burger, it is quite tender and flavourful. I recommend it.

Yes, I... may have forgotten to eat thus far today

[ And, uh. Dinner yesterday. ]

I will do my best with what I have to hand, and will pace myself with water and determination.

[windeity]

question. do you have to eat all of it including the bun and stuff or does it count if you just eat the meat?

[fabrefactions]

I believe the aim is to clear your entire plate,
bun and all.

[feistytrader]

Take an angle and commit.
Are you a prideful person who won't lose to some burger?
Is competition your bag, and you have your eye on the prize?
Or maybe a starving person savoring every bite, but quickly.
Whatever your angle, dive into it (and your burger) headfirst and believe yourself.

[This is the absolute worst advice, what the hell-]

[fabrefactions]

...




I was just hungry.
So...
The last option, but minus the quickly part. But as you advise it, I will speed up.

[ he's taking it seriously, though?? ]

[alienated]

Why would you want to do that
You're going to get sick, dude.

[fabrefactions]

It was cheap and I was hungry.

[ Naturally. ]

[originallutece]

Did you end up throwing up?

[fabrefactions]

I did not.
I didn't finish it in the end.

text

[truedetective]

Hm. In theory, a carbonated drink should help compress the food in your stomach, if you have one available. If I recall correctly, this technique is used by people participating in eating contests.

[fabrefactions]

... I have had a lot of people tell me to drink water, but drinking a soft drink is new advice.