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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[true_noir]

BlakKat That depends, Arlene.
BlakKat Would you consider finding a knife among your unmentionables to be dumb cacka?
BlakKat I am inclined to think that it is, personally.

[twelfthspark]

More like 🐤ing creepy. Mine was in a normal package in my mailbox, how the 👿 did they get into your room? 😲

But actually I think these might *be* knives
The tail ends are pretty sharp.

[true_noir]

Much as I realize that you are not doing the symbols intentionally, it is almost inspired how bad the timing of those can be.

Really? I should like to see them sometime. Mine is a bit more straightforward and obvious. What do yours look like, though?

[twelfthspark]

👎
oh come on that was supposed to be a *middle* finger

They're right there in the picture. Purple dragonflies. Looks like they should be on a little girl's wall.

[true_noir]

Oh yes, there they are. Wait. Those are supposed to be knives? They seem horrifically impractical. Are they the size of a proper knife, though? Why would anyone use those?

Well, unless desperate and without fashion sense.

[twelfthspark]

They're not like chef knife sized but they're long enough.

Baby's first shank? In case you need to cut a 🐶 in daycare.

[true_noir]

Hah. Oh that is a good one. What a daycare that would be, to need a shank inside of it. Almost like the birthplace of the worst scum in the world.

Dare I ask if you've had a vision about this yet?

[twelfthspark]

I feel like you could make a show out of that. Call it... "Bad Baby".

About cutting people with dragonflies? Nah. But you'll be the first to know.

[true_noir]

I would appreciate that. It would certainly be funny to hear about, even if perhaps a little distressing because it's actually involving people getting cut.

Hopefully "they had it coming?"

[twelfthspark]

Well, duh. Does it look like I go out stabbing people *just* for laughs?

[Maybe don't answer that honestly.]

[true_noir]

As tempting as it is to tease you, I think karma would pay me back for it. Of course you don't actually look like you go around stabbing people to death with adorable little purple knives that clash with your hair.

[Give it a couple months. She might have to lie if asked that later down the road.]

[twelfthspark]

Excuse you, they look fine with my hair.

[true_noir]

I believe this is the moment where I say 'pics or it hasn't happened?' I refuse to believe that those match the complexion of your skin, Arlene.

[twelfthspark]

[And here's a selfie because let's face it, she's in love with her own face. She's sticking her tongue out at the camera, and a "knife" sits nestled between two of her fingers with the tail pointing upward and wings sticking out in between. It felt the most natural to grip it that way.

She didn't bother with a caption.]

[true_noir]

[Chloe was not going to complain. Larxene had a face worthy of love and a little bit of obsession after all. She looked at the knives positioned as they were, laughing a little before shaking her head and replying.]

I stand corrected. I think that's good enough proof for me.