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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

Username: Elliecat

[notyourutopian]

Never thought I'd miss seeing my real name on here.
Elliecat though? Really? Is that an alleycat joke?

Ugh whatever.

So I am apparently bloody awful at pacman.
But I did it.
I died like eight times trying to get this app to load but I did it.

And do you want to know what my reward was?
What the balm at the end of my Pac Man Torture was?



That.

Totally worth it.

So has anyone noticed anything else weird yet?
Besides all the glitches I mean.
Cows aren't dinosaurs or grass isn't razors now or anything right?

[parodeity]

i think the shades really ducking sell it
what
oh come the duck on

[strongestheart]

Maya Aidoggo Wait, they HAVE a technical team?!
Maya Aidoggo And an email address?!
Maya Aidoggo ...WHAT HAPPENED TO MY NAME
Maya Aidoggo AND WHY IS THE APP BRIGHT NEON PINK although I guess the bunny theme is cute even if this is kind of mean with the stuff that's been flying through my head.

[godcards]

[ Username: Meowlik Ishtar ]

Of course something else has gone wrong. Why even bother posting that you're trying to fix it when something else is surely going to break once this is resolved? This is a waste of everyone's time.
How is it even possible that no one even noticed the eye-searing colors OR thought it was a good idea? How can one company be so inept at EVERYTHING?

[notyourutopian]

I just love his adorable little thug hat.
Except I think it's a newsie hat.

...Ducking?
You alright over there Dave?

[notbunaga]

spPawkinobu Tairawr spalright ill bite how did you guys fudge up this time

spPawkinobu Tairawr spoh holy heck

(i wont be using this formatting for replies i just wanted to top level with it)

[clear_eyes]

Rachat Hishimura Why do I have a feeling the email address is another trap?
Rachat Hishimura ... Wait, my name is different too!

[standalonehuman]

To Whom It May Concern:

Greetings. My name is Hitori Togusa, I am one of the users on the Retrospec Network, and I thank you for putting up a method of contact for your organization. There have been a number of concerns about the Retrospec application to date, and we users haven't seen an effective way to bring them to your attention.

1: Since the launch of the application, the program's Terms of Service have not been made public to the user base. We are still unclear on the limits to the information that Retrospec has access to, and the possible liability incurred by some glitches in the application's functioning so far. We would like the opportunity to read through the conditions, ourselves.

2: As of yet, there is no method of age filtering of posts, nor does there appear to be a content control team on your end. If, going forwards, this email address is the method to report inappropriate postings, that would be fine, but we have seen no way to flag posts so far.

3: Related to the Terms of Service, the application seems to have access to the phones cameras and microphones and has been posting data from those sources to the network without any user control. If that is the intent of the application, the user base needs to be made aware of that, and if it isn't, then that is a major malfunction on your end that needs to be fixed immediately.

I would love the opportunity to discuss these issues with someone at the company, but your physical office never seems to be open. If you could also post office hours, or the contact of someone that we could make an in-person appointment with, that would also be very helpful.

Thank you for your time,
Hitori Togusa

[Two minutes later.]

Hitori Togusa I'll take "Things I should have seen coming" for 1000, Alex.

[parodeity]

holy heck
what the duck
shit

ok shit seems to be ok
what the heck thats so weak
this is so weak

im ready to start a rebellion now this is worse than horses

[godcards]

Don't give them any more ideas.

[notyourutopian]

Eleanor Lamb Oh my god did you really try messaging that email address?
Eleanor Lamb What were you expecting to happen?

[wiselys]

[ all of annabeth's posts and comments appear to come from... bark2-d2. ]

to: humanresources@retrospec.com
from: bananabeth01@gmail.com

I'll genuinely be surprised if this email actually reaches anyone, and shocked if I get a reply. Please respond if possible, and I'll be happy to detail my grievances.

[ once she gets the failure to send notification, then comes back to see her email posted to retrospec itself: ]

Gee. What a disappointment. Didn't see that coming at all.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Black bag over my head and disappearing into a van, obviously.

[glacian]

Gentiana Illyria I demand for the ability to delete this horrid application.
Gentiana Illyria I do not celebrate April's Fools nor do I wish to celebrate.
Gentiana Illyria Stop subjugating me to such foolishness.

[notyourutopian]

Oh so you weren't just being a hipster you seriously can't curse?
Duck

shit piss duck funk hatseller morterfiller tits

Georgie Carlin would be so self-satisfied right now.

bloody heck?

Oh hey I can still say bloody that's something.

[notyourutopian]

I'm pretty comfortable with my insane suggestions.
If they actually turn the grass to razors half the planet will die that seems like a poor business plan.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford joke's on you, I'm actually really good at pac-man.
Cindy Clawford wait, what.
Cindy Clawford i'm not sure if this username is better or worse.
Cindy Clawford whatever. the only issue i have with the pac-man thing is the lack of high scores.
Cindy Clawford i'd kick all yoru asses?

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking cows being dinosaurs would actually be an improvement if you ask me
Steven Squawking ...ah what the duck
Steven Squawking wanna trade? I'll take cat puns over bird puns

[notyourutopian]

Eleanor Lamb That's adorable.
Eleanor Lamb Also do you just go to 'they will disappear me' as your expectation every time?

[godcards]

And you consider what they've done so far 'good' business plans? I hardly think they care.

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking am I allowed to say "I told you so" even if you sent it without telling me?

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Excuse me. You. Started this. But no, since haha, I'm not the only person not remembering things.
Hitori Togusa So I'm no more valuable or invaluable to these guys than anybody else.

[parodeity]

are you saying this stupid thing wants us all to be british now
this is anti american

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking *your
Steven Squawking wendy. cindy. anything else I should start calling you?

[notyourutopian]

Well nothing they've done yet would kill us.