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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last social media network you will ever need. You are one of the few selected to test this exciting new platform based on our cutting-edge algorithms. Less than two hundred invitations have gone out, and membership is not currently open to the public. However, we hope you will come to see how useful Retrospec™ is, given time. We have for your use a variety of features such as text, voice, video, and image posts. We encourage you to explore our many options. Anyway, now that the copypaste part is out of the way! Jim here, requesting you guys make your secret meetings a little more exciting. It's not like you're not trying with the whole "let's meet off the network!" dealio, but I have some serious concerns. For one thing, no secret handshakes or phrases? Not even dramatic meeting locations? The trying rating is about half a star if that. And I'm almost bored to tears with the whole back and forth about what's going on. Not bored enough to give you a cheat sheet, but still. I can't get myself taken off surveillance duty, so at least try to make it a little more exciting! You guys might like this wikihow. Later! Jim Halloway Research & Development Retrspec Incorporated Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for more than one month will find they can change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. At various points throughout the day users will be sent images of themselves from behind, regardless of where they are. There doesn't seem to be any way to catch whoever might be taking and sending these, however, especially since being alone in a room doesn't seem to be a deterrent.

Comments

[true_noir]

Are you new to this? Jim seems to like to be impressively horrible and stupid all at once.

[disaccordant]

The idea that this has been going on for a while is horrifying, but yes, I'm what you'd call new. Should I locate his previous posts or spare myself?

[true_noir]

It's been going on since Founder's Day, just so you're aware. And you may, if you really wish. Watching fruit dancing and smiling on the screen is horrifying in a whole new way.

I don't suggest apples by the way.

[disaccordant]

There's a VIDEO of those things?

[true_noir]

Set to "Bohemian Rhapsody" no less. It was apparently an attempt to propose to one of the other employees of this horrible little company.

[disaccordant]

What part between Bohemian Rhapsody and dancing fruit is even remotely relevant to proposing?

[true_noir]

Nothing, Jim is a dangerous idiot, but still an idiot. We don't even know if Janet said yes, and I personally don't care. I want them all to die in a fire.

[disaccordant]

Dying in fire's a little extreme, but I can empathize. It's amazing that they've managed to avoid being taken to court, at least.

[true_noir]

(OOC: Continued here)