retrospec | 04 | swipe left for what you need, swipe right for what you want

hello once again, fellow users!
this time i bring neither a game, play, nor incredibly true public service announcement about a friend.
nay, this time i am here to...

MAKE A MATCH

not for myself, however, but for a woman who's been very kind to me.
i'd like to give back to her somehow, and i decided finding her company for the holidays would be fitting...
regardless, let me begin. i hope you will at least consider this advertisement for a rather noble lady.

she is very beautiful, kind, strong in every way imaginable, and completely unafraid of werellamas. she's also on the older side of things, offering an intelligent and mature viewpoint on any discussion you may have.
that doesn't mean she's boring, however. far from it! i can personally attest to having more fun with her than i have had with most people her age...
her favorite time of day is actually the night, when the stars come out and constellations glitter endlessly above, and everything is aglow thanks to the moon's dim light.
she's also quite magnanimous, acquiescing to even the simplest requests... as long as they're harmless, of course.

as far as preferences go, she likes handsome men and pretty women, with charming and intelligent minds... and an air of mystery and danger about them, without diving into actual criminal activity. unfortunately for our younger people, she'd like all serious relationships to be with those thirty and over.

please reply with an inquiries, offers, or recommendations if you have them.
thank you for taking the time to read as well. please accept this video as a token of my gratitude.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lack of capitalization aside, this is actually pretty well written. I'm certain people would even be willing to pay for this level of service in creating a personal advert.

thank you, though i would never charge regardless of if i wished to do something like this again.

[ ...she's just not smarting for money. ]

All artists should be paid, but I understand. And your friend sounds like a rather lovely person, all things considered. I know how difficult it can be at our age to handle the whole dating scene.

[ dating profiles aren't an art....!! in her mind. ]

i'd imagine so. most of the users i've met are closer to my age than not... i wonder why that is?

Oh I'm sure it's merely a coincidence, in the end. After all, some of us don't even match the age of our 'other selves', so it doesn't seem to mean much.

is that so? most people i've met are closer to their age...
though i suppose i'm not really certain how old my other self is.
she doesn't look much older than i am, so i assume she's somewhere around there as well
are you speaking from experience, sir?

Oh I'm a relic, to be sure. 500 years old, at least.

500 years old... my, are you a vampire or something?

Nothing that fantastic, I'm afraid. Though it's a bit difficult to wrap one's head around.

allow me to try.

[ she's already seen some weird stuff certainly this can't be any worse ]

Well. I'm a sword.

-He's almost surprised at how easily that was to type. Before, he could barely accept it as a possibility, having no way of knowing how it could be even possible, or what it meant for him as a living person with their own agency. Maybe he was just getting used to the idea...-

[ ...a sword... ]

that's quite interesting. a sword...
i wasn't aware swords could be so human-like, but i suppose such things aren't that uncommon, especially in fantasy games.

[ she. can roll with it. it's good. ]

I try not to think to much about it in those terms, really. Though as for how I went from a blade to being human-like, that's still kind of a mystery to me.

perhaps you were a magic sword and you simply had a humanoid form
and thus: your appearance now..?

The details I've recalled don't really support that theory.

[ ah, that's a shame... she was hoping there was someone like the spirit of the legendary sword on retrospec... ah well. ]

you have my sympathies, in that case. i'm not certain if you'd like to remember that particular detail, so i won't wish you the best of luck on it.

Well some sort of ritual or another had to be done to give me a more human-like form, I'd imagine.

i suppose so...
it'd simply be magic, in that case.
are you just an ordinary sword? humanity aside.

Ordinary feels a bit unfair. I was an exceptionally well made and beautiful sword, created by one of Japan's truly great masters.

beautiful and crafted by a true master, but still simply a sword nonetheless.

Hold on, would you call a Monet *simply* a painting?

[ ........ ]

and if i would?

[ she's just jerking his leg at this point. ]

That is DEEPLY offensive.

my apologies, sir. i hadn't meant to offend
no, truly i would not call a Monet simply a painting, even if that *is* what it is.
i would call it

simple a Monet painting

Even that is treading too fine a line. Young people have so little respect for artisan works these days.

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