Silver "seeks NPC life" Bells [Gintaro Suzukaze] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
feistytrader) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
retrospec2017-12-02 05:27 pm
feistytrader) wrote in retrospec2017-12-02 05:27 pm
(no subject)
Christmas Song Hall of Shame
Brought to you by my boss, who has been playing nothing but Christmas music for a week straight.
This is not a song, this is some sort of subliminal brainwashing. Maybe I'm not having a wonderful Christmas time, but I sure am hearing it repeat in my head for every waking moment of the rest of my life.
It's not even the first day of Christmas yet. Your true love has a horrible taste in gifts if you can't tell us what they got you in less than four minutes.
On what qualifications are we saying it's the most wonderful time of the year? It's freezing. Everything is sold out as people scramble to pick it up for Christmas Presents. Customers everywhere are stupider and more entitled than usual. I'd say it's a hellscape, but it's too damn cold.
Rudolph got bullied by all of his friends for looking different until he was useful to them. They couldn't even come up with a second verse for this song. I'd like to know about Rudolph's claim to fame and sudden inspiration from Cee Lo Green. Actually, here's a pallet cleanser.
This one isn't too bad but it gets a special mention anyway.
[Looks like he's not explaining that one.]
Here's a pitch for a new Christmas song. "All I Want For Christmas Is An All Expenses Paid Tropical Vacation." I'd like to taste things again, too, but that's not a unique or Christmas targeted complaint.
Brought to you by my boss, who has been playing nothing but Christmas music for a week straight.
This is not a song, this is some sort of subliminal brainwashing. Maybe I'm not having a wonderful Christmas time, but I sure am hearing it repeat in my head for every waking moment of the rest of my life.
It's not even the first day of Christmas yet. Your true love has a horrible taste in gifts if you can't tell us what they got you in less than four minutes.
On what qualifications are we saying it's the most wonderful time of the year? It's freezing. Everything is sold out as people scramble to pick it up for Christmas Presents. Customers everywhere are stupider and more entitled than usual. I'd say it's a hellscape, but it's too damn cold.
Rudolph got bullied by all of his friends for looking different until he was useful to them. They couldn't even come up with a second verse for this song. I'd like to know about Rudolph's claim to fame and sudden inspiration from Cee Lo Green. Actually, here's a pallet cleanser.
This one isn't too bad but it gets a special mention anyway.
[Looks like he's not explaining that one.]
Here's a pitch for a new Christmas song. "All I Want For Christmas Is An All Expenses Paid Tropical Vacation." I'd like to taste things again, too, but that's not a unique or Christmas targeted complaint.
no subject
That's the only version of that hideous piece of music that I can tolerate.
no subject
I want to have Christmas down in Africa.
no subject
Granted, it still likely says something about the original piece when, in order to make it tolerable, you have to run it through twelve other songs, eleven seconds of applause, ten different singers, nine awkward pauses, eight pointless detours, seven misdirections, six-part harmony, five reference jokes, four obscure carols, three facepalms, total anarchy, and a stupid song from the eighties.
[...I'm so sorry about him.]