(no subject)

[feistytrader]

Christmas Song Hall of Shame

Brought to you by my boss, who has been playing nothing but Christmas music for a week straight.

This is not a song, this is some sort of subliminal brainwashing. Maybe I'm not having a wonderful Christmas time, but I sure am hearing it repeat in my head for every waking moment of the rest of my life.

It's not even the first day of Christmas yet. Your true love has a horrible taste in gifts if you can't tell us what they got you in less than four minutes.

On what qualifications are we saying it's the most wonderful time of the year? It's freezing. Everything is sold out as people scramble to pick it up for Christmas Presents. Customers everywhere are stupider and more entitled than usual. I'd say it's a hellscape, but it's too damn cold.

Rudolph got bullied by all of his friends for looking different until he was useful to them. They couldn't even come up with a second verse for this song. I'd like to know about Rudolph's claim to fame and sudden inspiration from Cee Lo Green. Actually, here's a pallet cleanser.

This one isn't too bad but it gets a special mention anyway.

[Looks like he's not explaining that one.]

Here's a pitch for a new Christmas song. "All I Want For Christmas Is An All Expenses Paid Tropical Vacation." I'd like to taste things again, too, but that's not a unique or Christmas targeted complaint.

Comments

[maskreant]

[feistytrader]

That's



You're early.

[But hey look, Akira got him to shut the hell up about Christmas-]

[maskreant]

it's okay. you'll be receiving more cat gifs as a countdown.

feeling better?

[falsepretentious]

Well said. I can't say that I disagree with any of your assessments. In fact, I'd like to add one of my own.

This song irritates me to no end. Did Mr. Crosby not know how to properly RSVP?! He says you can 'plan on' his being home for Christmas, but then he turns around and implies that he might only be home for Christmas in his dreams! Which is it supposed to be, Crosby? Are we to expect you, or not?

[feistytrader]

Maybe it's trying to convey his desire to be there despite life or prior engagements, but if that's the case, why use so much definite language? Don't leave that kind of thing up to interpretation.

[falsepretentious]

And yer he is. Whatever his intentions are, the song is contradictory about them. If he can't be there, why does he want the home to be prepared for him? That's pure selfishness at work. His family or loved ones will only be reminded of his absence.

[manufactured]

Good to see that between this and the responses to Retrospec, the pointlessly surly children are out in full force this weekend.

[feistytrader]

December brings that out in people. Besides, I'm always pretty pointless.

[manufactured]

No moreso than any other time of year, really.

Besides, you're usually the one shouting at people to not be so cynical.

[scythegun]

Well, it seems like you're having fun! Don't expect the music to stop any time soon, though~! ☆

[feistytrader]

I know better than to expect a miracle from one of Santa's handpicked elves.

[twostringsonebow]

Can you pick up some more lights? The kitchen needs some more color.

[feistytrader]

You've made enough of an atrocity out of our apartment already.

[elevelvetor]

[ ....... ]

if you wished for me to stop singing, Silver, you could have simply asked

[feistytrader]

[...Don't call him out like this-]

There's nothing wrong with your singing.
If Goro can put Christmas decorations everywhere, you go ahead and sing as much as you want.

[imaginex]

Does this mean I should give you your Christmas present in January...?

[feistytrader]

You didn't have to get me anything. You have your own money troubles.

[ladytakamaki]

Maybe you should come up with some new song lyrics, then? I'd love to hear them!

[feistytrader]

[What is it with all of these cute girls coming in and making him feel bad about not liking Christmas-]

Sometimes it's better to just go without.

[thesettingsun]

As a person who worked in a store where they started Christmas music in September, I entirely agree with you on everything related to Christmas music.

Honestly, I think I would enjoy Christmas a lot more if it was shorter and less everywhere.

[feistytrader]

I would too. If it was shorter and less everywhere, it would be much easier to ignore.

You used to deal with four months of Christmas a year, though? How are you still a person?

[odasaku]

At one point you won't even hear it any more; it'll all be radio noise.

The paid vacation sounds like a good idea, though. I should tell my boss.

[feistytrader]

Your boss would set you free around the holidays that easily?

[drydrown]

As much as I'm entirely willing to agree with you regarding both the music and the entire godforsaken season that accompanies it, I have one counterpoint to make regarding the Twelve Days of Christmas. Only one, however, and I promise it's only three minutes and thirty seconds long, well under your four-minute limit.

That's the only version of that hideous piece of music that I can tolerate.

[feistytrader]

[...What the fuck, this is a masterpiece.]

I want to have Christmas down in Africa.