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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ need. You are one of the few ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ We encourage you to explore our many options. Our HR staff ̡̨̨̨̡̧̹͉̹͉̞̪̮͙͉̟͔͉͎͎̤̹͙͉̟̱̠̻͚͎͔͉̤͚͇̳̘̭̩͇͕͔͜ͅị̷̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̛̛̹͈̙̹̼̼̱̱͓͓̱͎͚̝͚̥͕̻͇͎̖̘̪̭̼̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙̾̄̃̒̾̎͆͆̈́̑͊̋͌̀̑̌̆̽͌͑͆̽͛̀̀͋̔͊̃̾̾̃̂͆̀̍̽̏̀̃̚͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅç̶̨̨̨̛̛̼͈͖͔̼̖̙͕͍̟͇̤̩̳͇̳̰̤͓̳̱͍̻̖̼̩͉̜͎̹͖̺̯̣͔̗̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀́̋̽̿͑̽͑̋͗͋͌͗͗̅̒̐͒͆̒̎͒͋̀͋̾͛͌̽̒̉̽̌̈̉̀͋͐̆̽̅̉̐͆͑̓̑͛͋̀̓͋̒͌͒͌͒̈́̔̽͒̚͘͘̚̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝e̷̒͑̄͒͂̑̆̂̈́̕new features. If ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ one new feature for Retrospec™, ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅe winning ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅprize. ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝remember? ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ Users, for your continued patronage! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. Upon opening this entry at all, characters will find themselves spammed with notifications and strange glitched texts until they make some sort of suggestion for a new application feature on the Retrospec app. This can range from a personalized friends list to a watermelon image gallery to a watergun charging station. It doesn't have to make sense or be useful - it just has to be a suggestion, at which point the application will return to normal.

Comments

[true_noir]

I do not have many. Most, I have met through this app, though my employer and a long time friend are on it, so I suppose that. I have been getting to know people on it better.

It does breed some solidarity doesn't it?

[alienates]

[ karkat has like, less than five people who he would genuinely say he considers them a friend so. he's really not any better. ]

I guess??
At least it means you'll end up talking to people you probably would have never run into otherwise.

[true_noir]

And it is good to make friends. If we are each dealing with the same problem, then we all have that in common. It's certainly gotten me out of the house a little bit, which I don't think is a bad thing.

[alienates]

I'm not sure if I would say I'm making friends but I am definitely meeting people.

[true_noir]

Come now. If you wish a new friend, it is not that difficult to have. Or are you the sort not to give that title until someone has earned it through thick and thin?

[alienates]

[ it is definitely the latter. ]

Take a guess.

[true_noir]

Well, I suppose there is nothing wrong with being distant at first. But still, be open to the possibility. Perhaps one of these strangers should prove themselves? They might surprise you.

[alienates]

You are starting to sound like my old elementary school teacher.

[true_noir]

It could be worse. I am told by some people that I sound like their mother with my meddling. But, perhaps this is simply a sneaky fashion to try and find myself a new friend. Did you consider this?

[alienates]

Wait me?

[true_noir]

Why not? You have an amusing sense of humor, after all. And you are far from the most unpleasant person I have ever run across on this app. What do you do for fun?

[alienates]

You are aware that asking someone what they do for fun is among one of the worst topics?
Because now I am just going to sit here, as every single activity that I has ever enjoyed doing in my entire life escapes my memory.
And I will then have to answer with something stupidly goddamn mundane like, "I like to read!" or "I enjoy lint collecting!" to seem like the kind of person who does not just sleep in a hole all day while avoiding society.

1/2

[true_noir]

Mon Dieu! You are a collector of the lint balls? I am a collector of the lint balls too! How large of a collection have you managed to get, and how are they arranged!

[She was probably fucking with him. Almost certainly fucking with him. Hopefully?]

2/2

[true_noir]

You realize, of course, what this means! I must take you and drag you out of this hole that you sleep in so that we can show our lint ball collections to the world! This Lint is meant to be shared and enjoyed by all!

[Definitely fucking with him... or the French were hopelessly weird.]

[alienates]

How do I know you're just not trying to steal my years worth of lint?
I am fully aware of the abundance of theft that is running wild in the lint community so if you think you can pull a fast one on me and rob me blink you are definitely wrong here.

[ they have been fucking with each other enough by now for him to be able to catch when she's doing it back it's fine ]

[true_noir]

So, you have seen through my nefarious plans. You cannot preserve your lint collection forever regardless. I will have it and then I will have the largest collection in all of Recolle, the envy of all collectors.

But first, I am dragging you out for the coffee.

[alienates]

I cannot wait for what is surely going to be the start of a buddy cop relationship between the two of us.

[true_noir]

[Oh, this was definitely happening now. She had decided to drag him out of his shell, kicking and screaming if need be. What was the worst that could happen?]

We will become inseparable, you and I. Like one of those sit com's people watch. Complete with the laugh track.

[alienates]

Sitcom is one word.

[ this was an important correction to make. ]

[true_noir]

And I am learning from you already. You can help me with American turns of phrase and puns. A win win situation.

Let us see, what do you say to a few days from now? I will not let you sneak your way out of this, you know.

[alienates]

What are you going to do?
Drag me out of my apartment?

[true_noir]

You are not going to make me come find you, are you? It is terribly unladylike and you wouldn't want me to behave the colossal bore just to put some starbucks in you, would you?

[alienates]

Sometimes you have to break out of your comfort zone and be unladylike every now and then.

How did they end up here? I'm voting they're both idiots.

[true_noir]

That sounds distinctively like you're inviting me to kidnap you in the name of free coffee. Are you inviting me to kidnap you in the name of free coffee?

they dumb

[alienates]

I'm not inviting you to do shit.
That's the exact opposite of kidnapping!