02 ; text

[odasaku]

Has anyone here formed an opinion on their past (or other) self? Is it positive or is it negative? If negative, how do you deal with it?

Comments

[spes_phthisica]

I think it was my job too, since I was sort of like a soldier
so it wasn’t like the old me liked it or anything
seems like I just decided I couldn’t feel bad about it because it was something I had to do

[odasaku]

Makes sense.

I wonder if that was how I felt? I looked young, too, no older than a teenager.

[spes_phthisica]

I'm sorry
I don't think I was that old either
I mean I think the old me killed his first person (at least I think it was a person) when he was nine??? it doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's what I remember

though it's hard to think they were really bad people if they both started so young, I guess...
maybe they really had no choice

[odasaku]

I see.

They most likely didn't have a choice. Neither you or I. It does make things complicated, but human lives were still lost. I don't think that's excusable.

[spes_phthisica]

no
I don't think it's excusable either

I think the old me thought of lost human lives as inevitable, and because he was good at it, he had to take them so that other people, better and kinder people, wouldn't have to
it wasn't something that needed to be justified to him, and that's something I just can't get over
I don't think I'll ever understand him

[odasaku]

I can see why it would be difficult. But as long as we don't remember our whole lives, I don't think we'll ever understand.

I think at least...

[spes_phthisica]

I suppose you're right
I have a feeling that something is missing from a memory I already have, and maybe that will give me answes
and maybe you need to find out how the old you ended up where he did in the first place

either way, it's not like we have to like them
we're not the same as them, after all

[odasaku]

Yeah, you're right.