retrospec | Humblebragging intensifies

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Humblebragging intensifies

[ Imagine a dramatic sigh right here. ]

It's finally happened. I've become TOO STRONG.

For all those of you that I might have beaten into a blubbering pulp before, I apologize. It was my every intention to give you a second chance at redeeming yourself for your prior SHAMEFUL SHOWING. But I can no longer do this in good conscience.

I'd just end up wiping the floor with you too hard.

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I'm afraid that I still do not understand. What do you mean when you say that you have become 'too strong?' Is there such a thing?

I mean that I have become so strong that no martial artist could possibly hope to defeat me in single combat.

Although... there might be a slight downside to this.

That seems a bit of an over-estimation. How do you know just how strong you are, honestly?

I broke a house.

Mon Dieu! Exactly what do you mean when you say that you broke a house? Houses do not simply break, you know.

Maybe you should just see it...

[ Have the address of a run-down, condemned rathole. Ryoga was training there? YEP. ]

I will come and see this, but perhaps an explanation is in order? I wish to know how you did this, after all.

[She did, however, happen to have some time on hand, so she could come out and see what was going on. It would, however, take a little bit.]

[ Once she arrived, she'd no doubt see Ryoga waiting in the front of the house. He waved when he saw her. ]

Over here, in back.

[ The backyard contained a weedy, overgrown former lawn, and also the back of the house. The back porch was built on a concrete foundation, which appeared to have a large gouge in it. Though the house was also in general disrepair, of course. ]

[She made her way in his general direction, a touch wary, but also curious. She looked at the house while stepping around back and cocked her head. The house was in such disrepair that she was not sure to what he was referring.]

Ah, there you are. I think this house was broken long before you came here, to be honest.

Is that your final say in the matter?

[ He struck the corner of the foundation with his foot. The material cracked and came loose at the blow, crumbling into a fine powder. ]

...
...

[She looked at the wood. Ok, old, warped and the like, but the blow he'd used hadn't looked strong enough to cause that kind of damage. Her eyes widened and she seemed a little hocked.]

I... was not aware that you were this strong. How did you get like this?

I don't know. All I can say is... I woke up like this.

[ ~~Selfie~~ ]

I feel refreshed! Invigorated! Like I could take on the whole world!

You woke up like this? How strong were you before? I can't imagine someone waking up with the kind of strength that you just showed. Is this even natural?

I don't know, and I don't care!

[ Ah, youth. Ryoga clenched his fists and raised his arms up to about chest height. ]

My hard work has paid off at last! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[She took a step back, a bit nervous. Ok, he didn't seem overtly dangerous, but that kind of strength was something to behold, not to mention the potential hazard involved.]

I believe I do understand your message though. If you were to connect a punch, you could do irreparable harm, yes?

[ He did seem slightly hysterical. ]

Precisely! It would not be even close to a fair fight. But wait...

... is something wrong, Ryoga? Or have you perhaps realized that if you could do that to wood, you might also do that to someone's bones? It would not be a pleasant result if that happened, you know.

Well, that too. It's just that...

If I'm this strong, doesn't that mean I have nothing left to strive for?

[ OH GOD NOOOOO WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO NOW? GET A HOBBY? COLLECT STAMPS? EXISTENTIAL NIGHTMARE ]

You could try to become the fastest and the strongest man alive? Or perhaps you could seek a worthy opponent who could rival you and test yourself...

...

Somewhere safely away from me, please. [Yes, property damage like this made her nervous.]

That... that's true.

[ Wow, he almost had to confront an existential crisis there. BULLET DODGED. ]

All right, then! From this day forward, I have a new goal!

... [She was afraid to ask, but at the same time, it was unavoidable, as unavoidable as him getting lost on his way to wherever he went after this.]

What is this goal, if I may ask?

Well, both of those, really. Although I'd settle for either one.

[ What a glorious day! The first day of the rest of his life. ]

I really can't thank you enough for this.

You are quite welcome. [And if she managed to help an existential crisis gone horribly wrong be afforded, so much the better.] I do hope you can still shake hands safely. That would be awkward.

[ He held out a hand. You weren't going to hold out on him, were you buddy. ]

Of course I can!

[She reached out, albeit a little nervously, and took his hand to shake. Her grip was firm, but not overly so when she did so. She was, however, hoping that she reached back without a broken wrist. That would be lovely.]

Good, I am glad to be hearing this. We wouldn't want this newfound strength to be that much a trouble, no?

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momentaryspring - 2017-03-04 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

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true_noir - 2017-03-05 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

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