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retrospec2018-01-22 11:48 am
thebeastwithout) wrote in retrospec2018-01-22 11:48 am
002 - Octopus's Garden In the Shade
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins
[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.
The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.
The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.
It's kinda gross.]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins
[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.
The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.
The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.
It's kinda gross.]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i already have a way better arm than that one anyway
this one's just gathering dust in my closet now
but ps the elbow doesn't work so you basically have to keep the arm straight when you wear it
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besides the graveyard
probably not the kind of arm i'm looking for
can you bring it over now or should i hide in my room until tonight or something
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Whatever, he can probably make up some excuse. He's not gonna leave the guy hanging. ]
where do you live
i can be there within an hour
i live on the outskirts of town so it'll take me a while but i'll be there
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it's the house with green trim
you're the greatest human being on the planet thanks
unironically
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[ and then about an hour later, another text: ]
okay i'm here what now
[ If Gar looks outside, he'll see James half-hiding behind a bush just outside his house with a backpack that's got a few fingers sticking out of it. ]
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my parents are gonna call me down to lunch any minute
i'll crack a window
[...The window above James's head thumps for a little while.]
update: opening a window is hard with a tentacle
[...Eventually, it goes up and the screen pops out.]
You're a lifesaver, man. Hurry up and come in before the neighbors see anything.
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When he gets back on his feet, he catches sight of Gar finally and--wow, that's a tentacle all right. He whistles, looking it up and down, and then holds out his hand.
Give him the tentacle, Gar. Let him hold it. LET HIM FEEL THE TENTACLE, GAR!!!! ]
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[Gar kind of looks faintly repulsed by the thought before he rolls his eyes and looks away.]
Fine, OK, you can... squish it for ten seconds.
[only because he would desperately want to do this, too.]
Don't be weird about this, bro.
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You know, there's some arm prosthetics out there made to look and work just like a tentacle. But more robotic-like and less actual octopus flesh-like.
[ Not that he has one or has even tried one of those, but he's done a lot of googling on prosthetics in the past few months, it's come up. Technically, he thinks, you could call this a biological tentacle prosthetic. ]
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[Gar makes some... noises of discontentment as James prods and pokes and squishes at his pleasure. It somehow feels vaguely violating, though he hasn't the least idea how. The tentacle is indeed an enormous octopus's tentacle by any estimation - it squirms unpleasantly as it's released and drops to the floor.]
We all good?
Cool, let's pretend that didn't happen.
Why would you want a fake arm that looks like a tentacle? I'm pretty sure you can't actually like... do anything with this.
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It's not like I can do a lot with the arm I've got now, either. The tentacle can't be much worse.
[ He unzips the backpack and pulls out the arm fully, offering it to Gar. Despite going all the way up and over the shoulder, it's deceptively light and deceptively realistic. He also pulls out the harness, which looks more like a knotted tangle of belts and straps right now. ]
Think you can fit into that? Or is your tentacle too fat?
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[This protest is somewhat unconvincing, as Gar focuses on the fake arm sticking out of James's backpack. He takes it gingerly when it's offered.]
...Geez.
The night that dumb app installed itself on my phone, I was freaking out about algebra. ...I would a' spent more time goofing off if I knew I was gonna have real problems later.
It's gonna hafta fit.
[He still hates looking at the tentacle, but he at least tries to position it and slide it into the hole.
...It jiggles.]
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[ He can't help the amused grin as Gar tries to shove his tentacle into the arm. ]
Here, let me help with that.
[ He grasps the prosthetic by the forearm and jabs it forward, trying to cram it the rest of the way in. ]
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[Gar groans again as he picks up his wobbly tentacle and attempts to shove it in, shooting James a dirty look as he does so. It's... difficult going.]
C'mon...
Stupid -- I can't bulk up as a human, why've I gotta be such a thick octopus monster?
[don't answer that]
Just gotta... push...! Geez! If it was just a little... small --
[There is a sudden popping sound as the prosthetic suddenly slides all the way up Gar's arm with no resistance. ...But Gar utters a choked gasp -- and stares at the prosthetic in mild horror.]
...Aw, fudgesicles. Take it off, take it off, take it off.
no subject
What happened?
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[The prosthetic slides off pretty easily! ...This is because underneath it, there is now a lovely bristled, stick thin, fly leg protruding from Gar's chest. Huzzah everything is better.
Gar's choked scream goes about seven octaves up. He quickly stifles it with his free hand before his parents can hear.]
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[ He whispershouts it and jolts back away from the arm. He's not one to hate bugs or flies particularly, but he's never had to see a fly arm enlarged so much before. James stares at it in morbid, vaguely disgusted fascination. ]
Does it....y'know, move like a fly arm?
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[Gar hisses as he tries to back away from his own arm, which presents a slight difficulty, as can be imagined. James's question is sufficiently answered when the arm begins to twitch and vibrate awkwardly.]
OK.
I need you to cut off my arm. You're like, an ex-soldier right. It's cool I'm ready for this.
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[ Morbidly, he thinks he can probably just yank the arm off--it looks thin and brittle, easy to break off. But instead, he just shoves the prosthetic back on. ]
Just cover it up! Or turn it back into an octopus arm!
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[he will agree with covering it up though
ideally forever
his voice might be getting increasingly high-pitched]
What the hell is even happening! Is this some kinda nightmare? This is like a weird dream, right? What does this mean, my past life was some kinda fly octopus mutant?!
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I hope you like getting your ribcage squeezed, because James is not at all shy about tightening the buckles on this thing. ]
Welcome to Retrospec, man. What it means is you've got superpowers. Lucky you.
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[Too busy screaming and panicking, Gar might not have paused to think about the actual implications here. He shuts up and stares as if this thought has never crossed his mind.]
What do you mean, superpowers. Turning into a weird bug is a superpow -- ow! Geez, man, I've already got a useless arm; don't break my ribs.
This is a superpower?
no subject
[ He doublechecks the strap, gives it a tug, and, satisfied, steps back. There, look at that! Gar almost looks normal. Sure, the skintone's a little off if you look closely and the prosthetic's a little larger than Gar's real arm, but otherwise it looks perfectly normal! ]
And yeah, man, being able to turn into different animal stuff? That is totally a superpower. If it's static, that's just a weird mutation. But if it can change, you can probably control it, and that's a power.
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[He repeats, a little stupidly, to himself, as he looks down at his arm now covered by the prosthetic.]
No way, dude. This is... freaky. If I could've gotten rid a' this by thinking about it, it would a' been back to normal ages ago. It's just...
...It's really a superpower?
[He's not sure whether to sound happy or not, but there's a faint trace of an embarrassed smile coming to his face.]
...And wow, this actually fits surprisingly well. Huh.
no subject
Maybe you just don't know how to control it yet. I don't know how powers work, I don't have any. But what else is it supposed to be, man?
[ Seeing Gar appreciating the prosthetic, though, makes James feel pretty good about the job he did getting it on him. ]
See? What'd I tell you, this thing's made to look just right. Hell, you could probably even move it a little if you tried--not too much though or you're gonna pop it right off your shoulder.
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