002 - Octopus's Garden In the Shade

[thebeastwithout]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins

[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.

The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.

The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.

It's kinda gross.]

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Comments

[maidofmistakes]

Wait
Were you an octopus???????

[ohrlyeh]

[........]

i suppose that is NOT a costume

[YOU THINK???]

[thebeastwithout]

[thanks kara]

nO!!!!!

why would you ask that!!!

i don't think so???? i really don't think so!!

[thebeastwithout]

DOESIT LOOK LIKE A COSTUME

just gonna google 'hyper realistic octopus tentacle costume' and oh look at all the places you can buy octopus tentacles to replace your arms with!!! wait theres zero!!

[maidofmistakes]

I don't know! I just hope you don't get stuck that way! Oh, man... Did this just happen now?

[thebeastwithout]

i dunno! i woke up and i went to check my phone but then i couldnt pick it up cause my ARM TURNED INTO A SQUID

and it keeps dripping!! on my bed!! and phone! there's octopus slime on my phone!!! its really hard to type!

[maidofmistakes]

Oh, yuck! Okay, uh. Just try and... think about having a non-octopus arm? I don't know, think about anything else! It worked with my X-ray vision!

[alitaba]

WHOA COOL

[ this is entirely the wrong reaction, Futaba ]

you've got tentacles!!

[thebeastwithout]

its a little hard to not think about the octopus arm when you have an octopus arm!!!!

it's squirming
i can't stop watching it squirming
help

[thebeastwithout]

nOT COOl

and its tentacle one tentacle there's only o

[right about then his other arm also transforms into a tentacle but sadly futaba will not be able to see the true glory of this spectacle]

sadfkflnsgalsf sadddddddddngnn aaassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

[maidofmistakes]

Uh
Okay, maybe try closing your eyes before thinking about it? Then you won't have to see it!

[thebeastwithout]

it's still squirming!!!

what if i just have an octopus arm now
what if that's my life
for forever
gar logan, octopus arm boy

that's a horrible superhero name!! i want a different power! this is literally the worst!

[maidofmistakes]

Oh, man... I hope not! What if you have to be in the water to not dry up?

[alitaba]

[ well she's certainly imagining Something ]

are you sure about that 🤔

[me_matey]

ive seen enough hentai to know where this is goin

[ohrlyeh]

just making sure

does it hurt???

[thebeastwithout]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhgh

i hate swimming! i'm not gonna spend the rest of my life in a pool

ok for serious what am i supposed to say to my parents i'm not leaving my room like this

[thebeastwithout]

yes

my brain hurts and also my soul hurts and also it keeps slapping me in the face

[thebeastwithout]

[it's gonna be a little while until she gets a response but at some point he's just going to activate the voice to text capability through skillful use of his toes]

i hate this

everything is terrible

[thebeastwithout]

wtf
no
BANNEd
blocked

how do you delete someone else's post

[frostythehitman]

i warned you about them taking limbs away didn't i
welcome to the club

[thebeastwithout]

i don't want to join your club!! your club sucks! there aren't even free cookies

what
the heck am i supposed to do
oh wait i know, turn into a giant squid!!

[frostythehitman]

screw you my club is great and it gives great freak body change advice
like:
get it looked at by a retrospec doctor
grell's the one i go to
has anyone off-app seen this yet?

[thebeastwithout]

what kinda doctor knows how to treat spontaneous octopus transformation?! i'm pretty sure they don't cover this in med school! probably not even magical med school!

and no of course not!!! my parents would

...

ok i was gonna say ground me but maybe not

have me exorcised?

god i'm so screwed

[me_matey]

cmon bruh have a laff

u feel better