retrospec | (no subject)

It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm afraid things are really quite busy here, and unfortunately our liaison has been compromised. Well...so have a lot of people, actually.

Are you still yourself if you're not the self you were? It's the kind of conversation we've had a lot of times, around here. I've always only been myself, but if I woke up tomorrow as someone else, would I still be me even if I wasn't?

I think rather than worrying about that the best thing I can do is focus on trying to sort things out as best I can. I'm a little worried, actually, but I think I can manage to give everyone a shot even if I can't fix things on my own or even with everyone's help.

But you can help! Or at least I think it will help if you think about what it means to be "you". It's okay if that answer changes or doesn't. Just hold onto that concept and don't let it go. And maybe tell other people what you think it means? Not like I'm saying you have to talk about that. I think usually you all just talk about anything, and I think that is also a good way to hold onto who you are and who you want to be. Sometimes I think it'd be fun, all those parties or little plans. I've never spent much time outside of these walls, did you know?

I don't have time to really ramble, though. Those of you who know what I mean, we're doing our best. Those of you who don't, you do your best too. Pay attention to the things you tell yourself, and I'll try to fix what I can fix.

Please take care.

Joanne Wiseman
Technician 2nd class
Retr

spec Incorporated

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i will!! definitely!!!

so you want me to draw a picture of you with a tiara and a cool dress?! because i can totally do that

yeah, that'd be nice!!!
make me look pretty, daisuke!!!!!!!

[ self depreciation is not gonna work here. ]

itll be worth calling it your present!

[ which means it's time to scour through model magazines like he's always done, how fun. ]

18th birthday huh... do you think youll get a car?

[ it's not self-depreciation so much as it's a request for a serious picture, instead of a caricature or something... ]

i never thought about that!!
but probably not
my parents are going to cover my college costs, so that's already one big ticket item!!!
so it'll probably be something smaller for an official birthday present

whoa theyre gonna cover your tuition?! thats so cool

[ he's slightly jealous, but damn. that's amazing. ]

hmm well... tbh anything looks smaller in comparison to that

yeah!!
education's really important to them, so i think that's why they were saving up to help me out
but i'm definitely lucky there's only one of me... it'd be really expensive to do that for multiple kids!!!

that doesn't mean it's no good, though!!
small, thoughtful gifts are nice, too
you don't have to have a lot of money to let people know you care, after all!!!
but even if they don't get me anything else, i know they do

yeah, as long as you show that you care and let them know by telling them, i think that should be good enough

my parents are telling me to foot my entire tuition even though im an only child... so i guess it doesnt matter too much

that's a bummer!!!
i wonder if there are any art scholarships you can use to help with the costs...

im trying to get as many scholarships as i can but im not sure if i want to live like this for the next four years tbh...

[ scavenging for scholarships every year.... wew. ]

yeah, that sounds like a lot of work...
if you need any help looking, let me know??

thanks kotone q_q that means a lot to me

when my parents said that i needed to practice my independence, sometimes i wonder if its too much..............

yeah... it does seem like it's a lot, all at once!!!
but maybe that's better for you in the end???
like you'll probably be a more functional person than me, or something

well.... i feel really busy..........

i think we would be equally functional!

just skilled in different things

you'll know how to pay bills!!!
and i'll... know how to study a lot, i guess???

kotone

please continue to be the fun person you are

now and forever

of course i will!!!
who would i be if i wasn't me, silly???

a.......... totally not.... kotone.........

person?

its so hard to imagine

maybe i'd become a stuffy person in a suit!!!!!
never smiling, always serious
i can make a mean face, so it'd work...

a mean face huh

i kinda wanna see it

i can't really do it over text!!!!
but the next time i see you, i'll give you the stink eye just so you'll know!!

ill have to remember that so that i dont think youre mad at me for no reason

it's okay
if i'm mad i'll be sure to throw a drink on you or something to make it really clear
that way, you won't be confused!!!

[ how is that a good thing for him... ]

suddenly im scared of seeing you legit mad...

guess you shouldn't make me angry, then!!!