is it better that he didn't get this memory when he was 9, who can say

[belowaverage]

Who else remembers historical figures in their past lives, except they're weird?

I'm not talking 'oh I met Lincoln once and he was a little more casual than history books make him out to be' or whatever. I'm talking about 'Francis Drake was a woman with gigantic breasts' kind of weird.

That's not a hypothetical example.

Comments

[mincingminuet]

...Wat.

[belowaverage]

Gigantic boobs. I wish I could show you a picture.

[mincingminuet]

On Sir Francis Drake. The very male, very British dude.

...you're serious.

[belowaverage]

I wish I wasn't.

[memoryshifter]

Well, not historical figures per se, but I feel as if I would be just as bewildered should something of that sort happen as I am right now.

My little sister could apparently turn into a dragon. I'm not sure if this is just some...hallucination? Imagining? Or if it was real.

Though I do feel bad for Francis' back. A former lover of mine often complained that boobs were the worst on your upper back...

[belowaverage]

A sister you actually have or just a memory sister?

She had to have the worst pain, I don't think I've ever seen anyone with that huge a chest in real life.

[memoryshifter]

I'm pretty sure it's the same sister. She looks and acts just like my baby sister, except in my memories, she apparently, you know, turns into a dragon.

_{[Excuse him. He's still not over that. Humans don't turn into dragons!]}

Well, I'm not privy to your memories, but I can bet that I've seen at least one. An old friend of mine had a tendency to find women who were, shall we say, quite well-endowed. I just feel bad for them.

[belowaverage]

Weird. All I remember is my cousin stabbing me and that's a different kind of uncomfortable.

I don't feel too bad for her because she's Francis Drake, Woman Who Brought Down The Sun, so it clearly didn't stop her from getting shit done.

[me_matey]

I'll be honest?

That version of Francis Drake sounds completely awesome.

[belowaverage]

You're not wrong, but past me thought she was embarrassing as hell.

[me_matey]

Embarrassing how? It's not like you were the one with boobs.

[belowaverage]

She kept scruffing my hair like she was my weird drunk aunt or something.

[blessmefather]

Do famous mythological figures count?

[belowaverage]

I'll give you half credit.

[blessmefather]

Only half? I would have thought it was worth three quarters at least. Some historical figures become the stuff of legend after enough time passes.

[belowaverage]

But the weirdest part of this to me is that you think you know things about these people. You can't be as certain about King Arthur as a person you know for sure existed.

Which mythological figure?

[divisibility]

not that i doubt that the memories are intentionally designed to be as ridiculous as possible
but are you sure that wasnt just some unfortunate girl named after the real guy?

[belowaverage]

She'd have to be an unfortunate girl who was also a pirate.

[divisibility]

id think most pirates fall under the unfortunate category
is there any evidence for her being the actual guy?

[promisedyou]

Does "a historical figure that might actually have magic", count? Or at least, like, telekinesis.

Also. I'm not the one who remembers this. I just know someone on Retrospec who is an actual historical figure.

[belowaverage]

Mine might also have magic, I haven't ruled it out yet.

Which historical figure?

[promisedyou]

If she also has magic, maybe she used it to make her boobs that big?

I promised I wouldn't tell but I can at least tell you that he's one of the more obscure historical figures from the Three Kingdoms era. ☆

[dulynoted]

That's disturbingly specific.

[belowaverage]

Take a wild guess what I remembered today.

[dulynoted]

I've heard of alternate histories before, but this one is a little extreme.