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at some random point during the festival
trapped in an empty room probably abt to get murdered send help
may or may not have taken a baby chicken thing w me
if not for me do it for the chicken thing this bitey little asshole is adorable
[ attached is a selfie with a (much much smaller) chocobo that looks kind of like this. ]
what the hell is with the chicken things anyway did i miss something
may or may not have taken a baby chicken thing w me
if not for me do it for the chicken thing this bitey little asshole is adorable
[ attached is a selfie with a (much much smaller) chocobo that looks kind of like this. ]
what the hell is with the chicken things anyway did i miss something
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door wasnt locked when i came in was the thing
then i dick around for less than two minutes during which NOBODY WAS AROUND come back and it wont even budge
h e l p
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Now calm down. I'm on my way. Won't be long.
[And he's right, it won't be long. Good thing Ardyn's already in the neighborhood; it's only a short while before he finds himself in front of Retrospec HQ. Peering in through the glass entrance doors, he tries to see if he can make out Jack and his chocobo friend.
Another text soon after:] I think you're fated to wither and die in there, Jack. The doors remain locked on the outside as well.
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[ To Jack's credit, he does wait patiently. The distressed texts only come after Ardyn's last message. ]
go rent a bulldozer bc i am NOT dying in some shitty waiting room that doesnt even spring for living plants
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[Which is admittedly not very helpful, but, well, Ardyn is trying to figure out exactly how to proceed here. Is this the part where he calls the fire department?
He knocks on the glass door of the entrance. Hello in there. Come closer, and maybe you can hear him through it so he doesn't have to keep texting.]
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hell hold on someones at the door
[ There's plenty of adorable tiny kwehs going on in the building, accompanied by the occasional "ow" and "god dammit" as Jack nearly trips over the teeny chocobo. Jack knocks back, voice rising. ]
Open the dooooooooooooooor.
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He has to raise his voice a little, because Jack's is coming across somewhat muffled by the barrier between them.] I told you, I already tried. [A hand comes up again, knuckles rapping on glass.] Haven't you tried breaking the glass yet?
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[ alright so maybe he's a little snappier than usual. ]
This crap is solid. Can't even take out these windows by swingin' a chair around. Seriously starting to think we're gonna need that bulldozer, Ardyn.
[ of course, he has no idea that messing around on Retrospec means the door is totally unlocked. God. he's going to die in here. ]
i'm sorry
Well. I really don't know what to do then. [He straightens and shrugs in the most dramatic way possible. A hand comes up to fiddle at his scarf.]
It was good knowing you, a true pleasure. You're not going to really eat that "chocobo", are you?
worst friend EVER
[ Just give him a second to. Scoop up the chocobo, holding up a fingergun to its fluffy fat little head. ]
Get me outta here or the bird gets it.
you'd do the same to him
[He grins, then clasps his fingers around the door handle. He doesn't pull just yet.]
But I'm feeling generous. On the count of three, you push as hard as you can, and I'll pull with the same amount of effort. Maybe the two of us can get this door open for you.
true tbh
One.
[ look he's a great friend he wants to do the dramatic count together. ]
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...Two.
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[ Cue Jack throwing his full weight into the door. Like, he stepped back and got momentum going and everything. ]
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Which means the door was never really there long enough to stop all that momentum of Jack's. Ardyn figures this will either make for the most victorious exit ever, or the most embarrassing one.
He'd be pleased with either.]