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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate What's all this about a knife?

[caelestialis]

Ainmalsy Furay Meowodora An easter egg? That's the first I heard of it, I think.
Ainmalsy Furay Meowodora What kind is it? So far, all mine is showing me is a reminder that I need to turn down the brightness.

[parodeity]

hit me up w/ your texty coor
obtuse dunderduck actually isnt half bad as an insult
we should adopt it into our internal family lexicon?

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki a dozen bagels it is
Crowji Mochickuki let me know the flavor and they're yours
Crowji Mochickuki i don't go to the university though
Crowji Mochickuki maybe in the coming school year? i'm thinking about it

[caelestialis]

Ainmalsy Furay Meowodora A knife?! I'm pretty sure this is breaking laws at some point.
Ainmalsy Furay Meowodora You're not hurt, are you?

[true_noir]

BlakKat Someone...
BlakKat Put a Ducking knife
BlakKat Among my unmentionables.

[megabond]

Augustine Sauveterrier In my defense, it was a complete surprise for me.
Augustine Sauveterrier It didn't helped me when it jumped me into the game without any instructions...

[true_noir]

BlakKat If it is fruit related, it won't be as terrible as other options.
BlakKat It has not attempted to bevvy us with terrible songs, after all.
BlakKat Though I am about ready to change the locks on my home.

[rhapsodeity]

you cant say it would not be more fun!!!
:p

[true_noir]

BlakKat No, not in the slightest.
BlakKat I was fortunate to feel the metal of the hilt first.
BlakKat But I think the legality of this nonsense has long been agreed upon.
BlakKat The police simply cannot stop it as of yet.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate That's just... not the normal thing to do.

[rednerd]

Timmingbird 4/1 near Apprassage

HR is a bust. What a surprise. Dear Nonexistent Retrospec HR: if I wanted to play Pac-Man, I would just go to the arcade. Please fire your coder, Hal 9000.

[wiselys]

That's true.

No. So maybe I am the lucky one, after all. Except for all the notifications, and the dancing fruit every time there's a comment. And the yellow snail theme?

[notyourutopian]

Elliecat Well it's blue and yellow and pink pastels. In stripes.
Elliecat I'm just guessing but I feel pretty confident in my guess.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki which three do you mean?

[aegist]

blue cats. neon blue cats, i should clarify. and the name, and pac-man.

i did manage to skip the swearing ban, thank fuck.

are the snails at least cute or.

[wiselys]

Bark2-D2 I'd never turn that down.
Bark2-D2 Though I'd worry what Luke and Jason would get up to without us to supervise..

[true_noir]

BlakKat Even by the standards of what is not normal, this is impressive.
BlakKat It is also clearly the weaponized variety, not cutlery.
BlakKat It is quite obviously so in fact.

[true_noir]

BlakKat The three names for the fools that run this app.
BlakKat They are the only three who could be responsible for this, after all.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate You're not the sort that would need one like that...

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki i would have suspected roommates or the mailman before app designers...
Crowji Mochickuki or maybe yourself?
Crowji Mochickuki i once brought a spoon to my room, left it on my desk, and forgot about it until the next day

Username: Augustine Sauveterrier

[megabond]

To: humanresources@retrospec.com
From: augustsauve1988@gmail.com

Ever since the launch of this app, these glitches are beginning to invade most of the users' privacy. Also as what others said, you need to release the Terms of Service for us to know about this app such as myself.

And as I've suggested this before, I request you add some age filtering features as well an age limit to these younger users to prevent them from being exposed from inappropriate content.

Last but not least, I would request to open a support website so users can reach to you about these glitches and other troubleshooting problems.

I hope this e-mail will reach to you on time. I hope you have a good day.

[A few minutes after he got a notification that his e-mail is failed to sent, he is completely shocked to see his e-mail as a Retrospec post.]

Augustine Sauveterrier Of course, this happens...
Augustine Sauveterrier This can't be a coincedence.

[Because these glitches happening on April 1st is too much of a coincidence for him.]

[obscultator]

Krowl Birdfried I take it I shouldn't even bother to send the very similar email I just composed?

[true_noir]

BlakKat I live alone, so there are no roommates to speak of.
BlakKat And I live with a deadbolt, so nobody could break in easily.
BlakKat But this is not the sort of knife that you forget owning.
BlakKat If it were cutlery that would be one thing, but this is the stabbing sort of knife.
BlakKat I own a can of pepper spray, not lethal weapons.

[true_noir]

BlakKat It is terribly inefficient for trimming roses, I will say.
BlakKat And worse for cutting meat, so I have to concur.
BlakKat The fact that it feels, as the cloak did, familiar, is not exactly cheering me up.