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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa You know they never forward that stuff along.
Hitori Togusa But, hey, they have a corporate office, we could start sliding angry letters under the door if it comes to that. I prefer to work in hard copy because it's harder to ignore.

[constellates]

Nyanya Vasiliev if you ask veeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyy nicely

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Is there a way to avoid that?
Barkson Pawd Seems like collateral damage is the norm when taking down evil empires.
Barkson Pawd Or in this case, a really poopy social media app.

[mincingminuet]

Crazy.

1. mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.

"Stella went crazy and assaulted a visitor"

synonyms: mad, insane, out of one's mind, deranged, demented, not in one's right mind, crazed, lunatic, non compos mentis, unhinged, mad as a hatter, mad as a March hare; More
antonyms: sane

I don't disagree, but sudden changes like that are crazy.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Somebody brought up the point that it actually can't be costing them that much money. Last count I tried, there are no more than about 160 of us on here. You can run that on a simple server.
Hitori Togusa This feels so much larger than it is.

Hitori Togusa One theory is just flat-out identity theft, so I've been keeping an eye out on my bank account and credit score.
Hitori Togusa If they've gotten access to my bank passwords, thanks to having so much control over my phone? They haven't done anything with it yet.

[frostythehitman]

Bluejaymes Barkes If anything deserves to go out in a Youtube-spammed blaze of glory, it's Retrospec.

[frostythehitman]

Bluejaymes Barkes This is one of those inedible fruits, isn't it.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Have you been living under a rock? Rose hip tea and rose hip jam happens to exist.

[twelfthspark]

You know what I meant. 🍑🎩.

[twelfthspark]

Good. There's hope for him then.

[twelfthspark]

Well, duh. Does it look like I go out stabbing people *just* for laughs?

[Maybe don't answer that honestly.]

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking kind of a huge change don't you think? how long have you been at it?

[Not that it's actually Luke's business, but you know.]

[chiseler]

Steven Squawking they seem to be doing okay. one of them works for me
Steven Squawking you mean that whole phrase about teaching old dogs new tricks. maybe that's true but I also don't think it's a great excuse
Steven Squawking it's like I said though, Anya. be careful not to get too hurt if you have to get hurt at all. promise me

[constellates]

Nyanya Vasiliev !! yu ? or souji ?
Nyanya Vasiliev ah that is why anya tries not to get hurt or else people like luke will worry
Nyanya Vasiliev ok i promise
Nyanya Vasiliev i do not like to get hurt either is is very lucky it does not happen

[true_noir]

As tempting as it is to tease you, I think karma would pay me back for it. Of course you don't actually look like you go around stabbing people to death with adorable little purple knives that clash with your hair.

[Give it a couple months. She might have to lie if asked that later down the road.]

[true_noir]

BlakKat Oh, there probably isn't, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try a little
BlakKat There's plenty of people who have nothing to do with this.
BlakKat But until we actually strike, i think this is all a bit academic.

[true_noir]

BlakKat No, not at all, bu I might have spoken to a circus performer once or twice.
BlakKat I do not think I picked up the familiarity since now.
BlakKat My visions do not even involve knives.

[splinten]

It's different. The automatic rejection of difference is not a sign of intelligence.

[rosettareflected]

Alicnya Clover I. I suppose I can hear ideas...? [She's not sure how the kicked puppy look is being communicated through text, but she definitely senses it.]

Alicnya Clover I suppose we are, at that. I would be interested to know if Rachel and Melody are the same.

[rhapsodeity]

ok fiiiiiiiiiiiine
but i will never love another man as much as i love snoop dogg :(

[rhapsodeity]

[ there's a beat, and then ]

dumb question!!!!
is that you telling me to advertise or an invitation :o

[rhapsodeity]

well chloe this is just a thought i am having but....
when i got those fruits i just kind of knew they were mine? :\
and i know when karkat got his sickle he knew it was his too
he said it was like finding a sweater you did not remember losing in the lost and found
is it like that for you?

[rosettareflected]

Alicnya Clover I can't keep up with that, honestly. There are only so many layers of subterfuge available before what you're doing doesn't matter in the grand scheme.
Alicnya Clover That is what those attempts kind of feel like? There are limits to sensible resistance, I think.

[notyourutopian]

The world would be lost without me.
You know it.
They know it.
Who will invent the next great weirdly backwards tiny helicopter drone if you punish me for my jokes?

[notyourutopian]

I think I...might be?
I was born in 99.
Well we can be mellenials at heart!
Without phones and the old people hating out phones.

Uh
The game where you pick things out of the body without making it zap?