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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[rednerd]

Timmingbird 4/1 near Apprassage

HR is a bust. What a surprise. Dear Nonexistent Retrospec HR: if I wanted to play Pac-Man, I would just go to the arcade. Please fire your coder, Hal 9000.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford i want to make fun of the pun name but i can't properly do so as cindy clawford.
Cindy Clawford this is so unfair?
Cindy Clawford also, accurate reference re: hal 9000.

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Yeah, Cindy Clawford, check your name privilege.
Timmingbird I can't believe they're still trying to run an application they haven't fixed from the get-go. Is this thing EVER working accurately? Retrospec, please explain.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford i have yet to see proof of anything working right.
Cindy Clawford and my cousin had it from the start - the app i mean - and indicated this was never the case. the working right ting.
Cindy Clawford soooooo.

when u realized you forgot his last name

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake I thought there would be more threats to sue, but it's never in the news. Guess they have goo "cawyers."
Timmingbird Drake Oh. Amazing. It's back. I guess hey finally realized it's what you call a male mallard.
Timmingbird Drake Thanks, Retrospec.

i've made similar mistakes

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford this app is the biggest piece of crap, holy shit.
Cindy Clawford also, that pun was terrible and you should feel ashamed?

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Sorry, Retrospec replaced any of my feelings of shame with more puns.
Timmingbird Drake When will "Jim" let us live our lives?

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford presumably after he somehow convinces janet to marry him.
Cindy Clawford don't do it, jan. it's not worth it.

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Honestly, I wouldn't marry him because his app service is atrocious.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford so good app service is in your must-haves for marriage?

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Uh. Absolutely?
Timmingbird Drake If they design a digital magnum opus and can't execute it correctly, there's no hope for our marriage.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Somehow, I get the feeling Hal 9000 would program a better app than this.
Barkson Pawd Maybe this is Jim's fault again.

BARKSON PAWD

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Hal could program a better app, but WOULD Hal program a better app is the true question.
Timmingbird Drake Jim got his degree online at Phoenix.

LOOK...LISTEN.............

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd You're so funny, assuming Jim got a degree at all.
Barkson Pawd I, for one, will be gobsmacked if he has his general education credits done.

barkson pawd

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake gobsmacked
Timmingbird Drake If Jim didn't skirt by on a sketchy degree, he would be flipping burgers at McRecolle unless he knew someone at HQ.
Timmingbird Drake In that case, we should try to get him fired for nepotism.

well its not like we ever pretended tim had any tact.........at all...............

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Gobsmacked.
Barkson Pawd Wow. Flipping burgers takes skill. More than Jim has, fyi.
Barkson Pawd And not to take a dump on your hopes and dreams: But I'm not sure he can get fired for nepotism if he's chummy with the boss. It's not illegal to hire your buddies, exactly.

LOOK ASSHOLE true

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake That's the exact definition of nepotism.
Timmingbird Drake But Retrospec probably doesn't even have an HR office, so it doesn't matter.
Timmingbird Drake Have you been inside? Felt like the Twilight Zone.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd I have.
Barkson Pawd I think the Twlight Zone falls short.
Barkson Pawd There is seriously something wrong with that building. And I'm not just talking haha spooky empty lobby wrong.

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Are you going back?

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Thinking about it, though I get the feeling it'll still look as devoid of life as it was weeks ago.
Barkson Pawd But, hey. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[sparsity]

Micaw Tsukuyomi they probably think they're doing you a favor because you don't have to cram a token in your phone to play

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake I'd rather use a token so I could STOP after the first five tries. We don't have to play Pac-Man to go to the bathroom, Retrospec, so why make us play it to use the app you force us to use anyway.
Timmingbird Drake I tried to use a filter to get rid of the game and the dancing fat chickens, but it doesn't work.

[sparsity]

Micaw Tsukuyomi if only that counted for everything like passing a test or
Micaw Tsukuyomi mostly passing a test
Micaw Tsukuyomi hmmm i didn't get the fat chickens
Micaw Tsukuyomi just more fruit

[rednerd]

Timmingbird Drake Ugh.
Timmingbird Drake Maybe they're going for Guinness' world record of longest and most annoying prank.

[sparsity]

Micaw Tsykuyomi i wonder if everyone would have to know about it for that to work
Micaw Tsukuyomi like my mom she can't access it