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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Nine, with ten being reserved for discussing the idea of burning down a building on a network with multiple police officers and firefighters on it.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Nah. 10 would be reserved for going to the store and buying the stuff you need to set a whole building on fire.
Barkson Pawd Pretty sure they have a protocol for when someone tries to pay for a cart full of lighter fluid.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa For a real counter-argument, then, not only would it be irresponsibly dangerous and destructive on a scale I can't properly quantify, it would probably be wasteful.
Hitori Togusa I'm betting their infrastructure to run the app is in a different location anyway.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Considering the whole place is eerily empty and devoid of life? Probably.
Barkson Pawd If that's the case, though, it really makes a guy wonder why have the building at all?

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Not the whole place. Can't be. Just the lobby area we've been able to access? Yeah.
Hitori Togusa You went there, too. I went a few weeks ago, when did you go?

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Nah. I stand by it being eerie and haunted until I see human life inside. Makes it more interesting.
Barkson Pawd During the blackout. I get the feeling a couple of people went around then, too.
Barkson Pawd Mad Libs are pretty memorable.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa That actually answers my follow-up questions. The door's 'security' game still worked, even though the power was out. And still no employees.
Hitori Togusa Somebody has to go in or out of that building.
Hitori Togusa Change of topic, but who am I speaking to, anyway? Retrospec can't seem to get people's names right today.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Maybe they have to. Maybe they don't have to. No way to find out unless someone's willing to stand vigil all week long.
Barkson Pawd Can't you read? Barkson Pawd.

I had to finally stop laughing at this

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa Sorry, didn't realize you were French.
Hitori Togusa Not a case, so no room for a stakeout, so there's got to be a less wasteful way to look at a building.
Hitori Togusa They remodeled the entire inside in a month. Somebody had to go in for that.

my job here is done

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Oui, oui. The accent never carries well over text.
Barkson Pawd Then do it off-duty. Not everything has to be by the book, you know.
Barkson Pawd Squeeze your brainpan for an ounce of creativity and see what solution you come up with.

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa You wanna know so bad, sit your own self in a car for a week and see how you do.
Hitori Togusa I've got my own methods, feel free to criticize my job after you've spent some time in public service.

[antagonize]

Barkson Pawd Goodness gracious.
Barkson Pawd Someone's cranky.