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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[wiselys]

Like what? "You suck, fix your lame app"?

[aegist]

i mean that would be less effort and definitely cover all the bases.

are you having to play pac-man?

[wiselys]

That's true.

No. So maybe I am the lucky one, after all. Except for all the notifications, and the dancing fruit every time there's a comment. And the yellow snail theme?

[aegist]

blue cats. neon blue cats, i should clarify. and the name, and pac-man.

i did manage to skip the swearing ban, thank fuck.

are the snails at least cute or.

[wiselys]

Neon is never a good shade.

I don't know if I have the swearing ban. Let's see. Duck. Darn. Poop. Witch. Motherducking son of a witch. I guess I do.

Aside from the searing yellow shade, I guess? Snails are one of those debatably cute creatures where they're gross, but not bad to look at.

[aegist]

i kind of like the neon/electric blue?

motherducking son of a witch sounds mostly silly, lord. i hope luke is also swear-locked. @ luke say fuck.

now i'm curious: what other creatures are on this debatable list?

[wiselys]

Electic blue sounds like your color.

If he isn't, I'm going to be incredibly offended.

Hm. That's a good question. Chihuahuas maybe? Pugs for sure.

[aegist]

what about sphinx cats? without the fur, just the naked cat.

[wiselys]

Yes. They're interesting, but petting one would be so... weird. They don't even tell riddles.

[aegist]

like the egyptian ones? what riddle were they supposed to tell, anyway. wasn't it something about the three stages of life?

also: naked molerats. maybe all naked animals actually?

[wiselys]

... I think you just gave me a hallucination of a sphinx. With her hair in a bun? Asking me trivia questions. Dog darn it, duck me, that's stupider that you and Luke getting a dragon cave.

Naked animals are inferior to furred ones, it's true. There's something about fur that makes them better. The opposite of humans, I suppose. A naked animal is like petting a hairless human.

[aegist]

??? another mythological creature? what the hell.

okay, you've ruined naked animals for me.

[wiselys]

I expect unicorns to be next.

Were they not ruined enough already?

[aegist]

well they didn't make me think about petting naked humans before?

[wiselys]

I meant like petting someone's arm, you're the one who jumped to naked people.

[aegist]

because we were talking about fully naked things?