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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate That is... very strange.

[true_noir]

BlakKat A phrase I find that we say more and more with each passing day.
BlakKat Next, there will be a gun in my oven, or a grenade under my coffee table.
BlakKat What am I? Some spy in a terrible novel?

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Perhaps you will get stronger too.

[true_noir]

BlakKat If I start displaying strange powers, I will inform you
BlakKat I suppose I already have the cape for the look.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Who wears capes these days?

[true_noir]

BlakKat Oh this is right, you were on vacation.
BlakKat I apparently wear a hunter green cloak now, as my coat is missing and it was there.
BlakKat It is the same as in the visions, and they have a knack for invading my home.
BlakKat I am definitely changing the locks, and adding a new one.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Strange that it's from your visions...

[true_noir]

BlakKat so was the fork that they mailed me, it would seem.
BlakKat I believe everything I get from them factors into those somehow.
BlakKat Which means this knife will too.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate I suppose I've been lucky.
No new visions or strange, alluring maids with silver hair turning up.

[true_noir]

BlakKat If I should ever see this maid, I will at least have the chance to understand what fascinated you so.
BlakKat You were quite taken by them, as I recall.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Very elegant... and very beautiful...

[true_noir]

BlakKat A pity you did not acquire an image.
BlakKat The ones I saw in mine were not so elegant, though I suppose that I was taken aback by one.
BlakKat Though, in my case, that is a large part of the problem with these visions for me.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Oh, I would certainly like a picture of her...

[true_noir]

BlakKat Is this the sort of thing you would forgive Retrospec for providing out of the blue?
BlakKat Perhaps they will be so kind as to do so.
BlakKat They might as well send something that is not awful for once.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Possibly!

[true_noir]

BlakKat Well, I know what to get you for your birthday, if I can find it.
BlakKat Though I am sure finding the person themselves would be even better.
BlakKat I feel almost silly, though, trying to hunt imaginary people to set my friends up with.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate I'm sure there's a lady out there that is similar enough to my dream girl...

[true_noir]

BlakKat Well, there we go.
BlakKat Silvery hair, was it not? I am looking for someone prim and proper with short white hair.
BlakKat That is not so impossible.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate I'd say... silvery hair isn't a requirement.

[true_noir]

BlakKat Prim proper and beautiful?
BlakKat Much easier to accomplish.
BlakKat Now I just need to begin frequenting the right establishments in my spare time.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Ah, you don't need to do anything...

[true_noir]

BlakKat Emilie, do you think I would ever stop unless you told me to?
BlakKat I would love to see you happy and in love.
BlakKat It's important to me to see you happy.

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate Good point...

[true_noir]

BlakKat But, how is this for a compromise?
BlakKat I will take my time hunting for the 'perfect' one this time.
BlakKat So that I am not simply thrusting every pretty girl I can find at you that I think you would look good kissing?

[A bit of an overstatement, but...]

[scarlet_devil]

Émilie Écarlate It doesn't just have to be girls. I like boys too.