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[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki i'm not saying it's aliens, but maybe it's aliens
Crowji Mochickuki you know, like how chocobos aren't any Earth creature
Crowji Mochickuki if chocobos replaced cats, you would be Ritsu Chocobonya...? i actually don't know what your last name is
Crowji Mochickuki also i'm not very good at thinking of puns

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya Kageyama.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya ... Kwehgayama?
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Oh no let's not go there.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Yours is already bird enough, Mochickwehki spells super strange.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki oh, you're pretty good at this
Crowji Mochickuki Mochickwehki
Crowji Mochickuki sounds like a foreign name
Crowji Mochickuki introducing myself like that would be such a pain! lol

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya Mochikwehki-san
Ritsmew Cattynyanya I guess I should stick to Crowji-san.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya (Please don't take that seriously I don't want to be Ritsmew.)
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Back to aliens though loath as I am to admit it
Ritsmew Cattynyanya it's actually increasingly plausible with all this weird stuff happening. It's like we're in an experiment.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki lol we'll just have to be Ryoji and Ritsu then
Crowji Mochickuki alien experiments... that's how it feels sometimes
Crowji Mochickuki i can't imagine what sort of experiment though, or what they hope to gain from it
Crowji Mochickuki i keep trying to think of books or movies where something like this has happened
Crowji Mochickuki the human imagination tends towards otherworldly things like aliens when there is no other explanation,
Crowji Mochickuki but that creativity finds solutions too
Crowji Mochickuki if a situation like this has already been thought up and dealt with in fiction, perhaps we could use it as a guide in reality

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya When I was learning/reviewing English I was watching this Nightfall Realm thing that had those surreal stories, usually they don't end too happily.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya I mean one time the aliens were being all gleefully helpful so we'd let our guard down and eat us. Another episode had them plant suspicion of who was the alien among each other? And humanity had ruined itself with fear alone.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya ... And then my aforementioned acquaintance was like "Yeah, I totally knew one" last month, fantasies too strong. (One of those memory/hallucination things?
Have you had those.)
Ritsmew Cattynyanya But I don't think I've seen any story with this exact scenario yet. Feels like it could lead to lack of sleep if you overthought it, but I'm no wimp.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki uh
Crowji Mochickuki to be honest i'm probably not going to sleep tonight, thinking about all of this
Crowji Mochickuki i've had hallucinomemories, but nothing about aliens
Crowji Mochickuki there was a monster?
Crowji Mochickuki but no false pretenses about making friends and attacking people
Crowji Mochickuki it just went straight to attacking

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya You'll be fine. Bundle up with a favorite book, drink something warm, wear socks.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya A monster, huh.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Not sure if that's better or worse than getting lifted off the ground by some stranger.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki do the socks really help? i never tend to while in bed
Crowji Mochickuki a monster is more a comfort than being attacked by a stranger, in my opinion
Crowji Mochickuki though a stranger, you can see a face, know that it's a person
Crowji Mochickuki if true, that's scarier than any imagined creature

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya Mm, well sometimes they remind me of home. I'm not used to shoes indoors yet. That might be it,
but this is your hometown as you've mentioned.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya It's alright, I'm not afraid of him, whoever he is. I think it's more like I was surprised than scared.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Someone did ask if I was a troublemaker when I mentioned that though, ugh.

[appraiser]

Crowji Mochickuki it looks more like that other person was the trouble maker!
Crowji Mochickuki i would be pretty scared...
Crowji Mochickuki i've never been in a fight before
Crowji Mochickuki i wouldn't know what else to do than simply remain still and be lifted from the ground

[esperimental]

Ritsmew Cattynyanya I don't know, staying still like that would probably cause you to lose all your money. And your phone.
Ritsmew Cattynyanya Better than one's life though.