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Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com.

Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™!

Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops?

Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures.

Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include:
-Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun.
-The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety.
-Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off.
-Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment.
-Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application.
-Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason.
-Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs.
-New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used
-Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck)
-A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[If they somehow by pure happenstance do get locked in the closet, Togusa is going to get blamed now. Somehow, he's okay with this.]

Hitori Togusa I don't even know what I should be worried about. The scope of what people have been reporting is so out there, it could be anything. Magic, monsters, feudal battles, what's next?
Hitori Togusa The big question everyone's grappling with is the same deep down: what does Retrospec know about us that we don't know about ourselves?

Nyardyn Mewzunia If they know something, then why not reveal all at once?
Nyardyn Mewzunia What's the point of one memory here, another there?
Nyardyn Mewzunia I'd rather be privy to the entire story, or none at all.

[The irony is that, no, you wouldn't, Ardyn.]

Hitori Togusa Because human memory doesn't work that way. I think. You can't just suddenly recall your whole life at once, you can only focus on a piece at a time.
Hitori Togusa Either that, or the shock of remembering a whole lot at once would fry your mind.

Nyardyn Mewzunia If they were concerned about the state of our minds to being with, then they'd simply leave them alone.

[But he understands Togusa's point.]

Nyardyn Mewzunia But I'll resign myself to a painfully slow process for now, since we have little choice in the matter.
Nyardyn Mewzunia And look, we've summoned my brother.

Hitori Togusa I suppose it was inevitable.
Hitori Togusa But I'll make you the same offer I did him. Any predictions for if/when I start to join in the fun? The sky's the limit here, what have I forgotten about?

Nyardyn Mewzunia Why not start big?
Nyardyn Mewzunia My money is on being a world savior of some sort.
Nyardyn Mewzunia An unyielding warrior, legendary and unstoppable.

Hitori Togusa It is sometimes hard to tell when you're really making fun of me.
Hitori Togusa Nah, it doesn't fit. I'm no hero.
Hitori Togusa Give that one to your brother, he's got more capability, doesn't mind the spotlight.

Hitori Togusa No, that's it, we throw you two into one of those sword-and-sorcery movies, Fynn the Barbarian and Ardyn the Healer: brother heroes. Make millions at the box office.

Nyardyn Mewzunia I'd be fine with that. As long as Fynn remains the Barbarian.
Nyardyn Mewzunia He can be the brawn, and I'm the brains.
Nyardyn Mewzunia Heaven knows he doesn't possess any.

Hitori Togusa Oh, Objection, there.
Hitori Togusa Your brother is brilliant when it comes to the right topics. You cannot be an idiot and shoot that well.

[Come on, let him pick on his brother without having to explain himself for it]

Nyardyn Mewzunia Surely you're not telling me that shooting well and intelligence have any sort of correlation with each other?
Nyardyn Mewzunia You're the one that chose Barbarian for him, after all.
Nyardyn Mewzunia He needs only to yell loudly and hit things with a large club.
Nyardyn Mewzunia Even a simpleton can manage that much.

[He is, of course, mostly joking. Mostly.]

Hitori Togusa Wait, you really don't think there's a correlation?

[Oh no, jackpot, Togusa is not letting this one go.]

Hitori Togusa No no no, we've hit on something far more interesting here. Have you ever gone to the shooting range before?
Hitori Togusa Surely Fynn's dragged you out there a time or two?

[Here we go.]

Nyardyn Mewzunia Fynn has tried, but unsuccessfully.
Nyardyn Mewzunia But let me stop you there, Togusa. Are you going to make the argument that my brother being able to shoot well /and/ his fluid intelligence run parallel to each other, rather than what is more simply attributed to superior hand-eye coordination?

Hitori Togusa Hand-eye coordination, at its basic physiological level, is correlated with intelligence. There's some brain neuronic common linkage there.
Hitori Togusa And especially if you've seen how he shoots, then yes. He's spent his time on tactical analysis, situational awareness, and shows a lot of intelligence and competence there.
Hitori Togusa He started younger, it's been a hell of a lot of work for me to even try to approach his level.

Nyardyn Mewzunia Then I think the issue is that we're referencing different sorts of intelligence.
Nyardyn Mewzunia For instance, I trust him to shoot well, and to take apart my car's engine and put it back together again, if the need arises.
Nyardyn Mewzunia I do /not/ trust him to participate in any sort of verbal repartee or debate, without it spiraling into disaster and repetition.

Nyardyn Mewzunia Be honest with me; would /you/?

[For a second, Togusa almost just follows him right into the trap. But, as his thoughts are often going these days, he is thinking right back to the shooting range, and the illegal gun hiding in his apartment, and Fynn's advice on the matter.]

Hitori Togusa I would.
Hitori Togusa Can he very specifically do your job? No. But that's why you're there and he's here. Can he keep his cool and think straight and even argue his perspective on something when the situation calls for it? Definitely. Which might be why he flies off the handle so often when it doesn't matter.

Nyardyn Mewzunia You would?

[There's a pause, because really, Togusa? You'd let Fynn take the proverbial stage when it comes to arguing about important matters on the fly? Acting reasonably, speaking rationally, empirically?

He wonders if something has happened recently to spawn such an opinion.]

Nyardyn Mewzunia Flying off the handle is not often considered a desirable trait, you realize.
Nyardyn Mewzunia Emotion can get in the way of his critical thinking; I've seen it happen more than once in the past.
Nyardyn Mewzunia Still, I think we're straying from the point. I mean to merely say that motor skills does not always an intelligent man make.

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God why don't I have a Togusa blushing icon

lmao! does he ever blush in the series?

No! Fucking NEVER! I'm having to get it commissioned! The closest we get is a 'I done fucked up'

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