4/6, TEXT

[hjack69]

aight chumps quick q
anybody ever seen these before?
bc theyre frickin rad laser guns retrospec sent me and im wondering if anybody else ended up getting advanced space age tech in the mail lately
you recognize these or the name " hyperion " lmk

[ Attached is a photo of the guns in question. ]

heads up: try and take these away from me and i will absolutely zap you in the balls

Comments

[arahoushi]

not a clue, boss, but from the front they look more like a funky rocket than laser guns

or any kind of gun

they don't actually look like guns at all

[hjack69]

yeah i mean
i guess theyre technically rockets?
but they rocket lasers at your balls
i mean i had a hallucinomemory ( tm ) abt using them to shoot at space commandos who were trying to idk blow up my space station soooooo im 100% on them being guns

[ just. gonna throw all that out there without context. ]

[arahoushi]

[...ok, not sure context would actually be helpful here]

wow
i literally have no idea what to say to that

upside: anyone tries to invade the city you can just shoot their balls off

[hjack69]

does this mean i get to lead the rebellion when aliens show up and enslave humanity
bc i would be ok w that

[arahoushi]

formal request to be your second in command
or your second in command's second in command

i'm okay with whatever, as long as i get to fight aliens and look badass too

[hjack69]

important question
are you going to be in stripper clothes at the time bc i dont know that thats the kinda image i want my rebellion putting out there yknow

[arahoushi]

i dunno
you haven't even seen the stripper uniform yet so i think you should reserve judgement until you do

i only wear the classiest of thongs, got it?

[hjack69]

ok but are there going to be tassels
this is important

[arahoushi]

WILL there

buddy, the tricky part is deciding the best place to put them and what color they should be