retrospec | [1] 4/8, photo set

[I do, apparently. But Luke's taking this into serious consideration given everything else that's come up lately.]

It could have something to do with some properties infused in the sword itself? Like those rumors about those magic stones you can kiss in Ireland or whatever, or how werewolves are weak to silver. Maybe whatever your sword is made of has some special toxins. Dying from pronunciation just sounds stupid.

...Okay, why the fuck does your stuff sound more plausible? I prefer dyin' from pronunciation because I feel it sounds stupid enough to like, encapsulate how fuckin' dumb this all is, you know?

[ DON'T MAKE IT SOUND PLAUSIBLE, LUKE, HE CAN'T BITCH ABOUT THAT okay he's mostly joking ]

The fact that it sounds plausible at all is the pretty fucked up part. [Listen. Luke has zero probably saying "fuck" around Dave but won't around his own baby sister. Be honored, etc.] For all we know maybe it's both. Have you tried testing that theory on anybody else yet? Making them pronounce the welsh name and tracking their stats and stuff. I don't know how this stupid RPG kind of stuff works.

Besides. Given everything else around here that's about the most I can get from it. What'd your siblings say about it?

[ tbh dave has been saying fuck since he was a kidlet so luke probably just gave up if he ever tried... ]

Dude, I can't even pronounce the name of this sword, how'm I gonna try to make someone else do it???

[ THAT SOUNDS HARD. ]

Uh...Dirk thinks Welshness is probably not a real property.

It's a big city. There has to be someone who can actually pronounce Welsh names, and as much as I admire your brother's brain how does he know Welshness isn't a real property? After everything else it actually wouldn't surprise me. Did he already take a look at it?

[That's. Not how that works, but okay.]

I hope it actually is a real property just to prove him wrong, actually? [ DESPITE COMPLAINING AND NOT WANTING THAT TWO SECONDS AGO? ] And yeah, I showed it to him, but he didn't like have any welsh-related revelations.

[ why is he focusing on the welsh thing ]

[He nods slowly.]

I know a guy who got a weapon that might be tied to his person like some freaky voodoo crap. Maybe the Welsh thing is like that? [He stops.] The longer we talk about it being Welsh and dangerous the more I realize how stupid this sounds. What about if you took it to a historian or something? We have those, right?

Oh, we know the same dude. [ HE MEANS KASHUU, DAVE ASSUMES. ] Also, we...might? Shit, I guess I could do that. Do they arrest people for havin' random swords, though. Do you need a license like with guns?

[A smile.] Wasn't sure how many people he told, but yeah. We probably do. [He shakes his head shortly after.] But I don't think so, especially since you're storing it in your weird hidey-thing. [The sylladex. He means the sylladex.]

If you explain you found it and you think it might be cursed or something that's probably you best bet. It's worth a try. Historians and shit love that stuff. They have whole TV shows just comparing weapons.

...Yeah, ok, but you have to come with me.

[ HE IS NOT TELLING SOMEONE A SWORD IS CURSED WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE THERE? WHY? they can do it. some month many moons from now. ]

...are you serious. [Like. He won't say no AND THEY CAN DO THIS MUCH LATER. But. Why.] All right, fine. Figure it out and I'll get somebody to cover me so I can head out there with you. Might be easier to leverage with them if you're not by yourself anyway.

[Because even aside from "cursed sword", Dave, you're a teenager.]

I'll find a person and let you know when. But you're gettin' less useful stuff than maybe-welsh swords?

[ re: the shit luke showed pictures of. ]

Do you remember them at all?

A moldy sandwich is the least useful thing I could ever dream of. [Deadpan. So deadpan. But at the same time he shakes his head.]

I kind of remember the golf club, but I don't know what happened to make it look like that. Not sure about the rest of the stuff though. The shoes fit, but the sandwich I'm starting to wonder if they're just fucking with me.

I mean, the club pretty much looks like you beat somethin' really big over the head with it.

I used to fight monsters. So. I'm gonna guess it was probably something like that.

[May as well be forthright with it!!!]

[ he is rewarded with a casual eyebrow raise and nod. ]

Pretty sure I did a lot of that, too. There were these huge ogre things, and other shit. What kinda monsters were you dealin' with?

Not ogres. But possibly dragons? I definitely know dragons were involved, but everything else is a little unclear. It's just something I know happened since I was a kid even if I have no idea how or why. [A slow shrug.] Vague as ever. What's this about ogres though?

Crude ogres. I just remember them bein' a thing. They were huge and made of like, black stuff, and they had these tusks, and they were all dressed like clowns?

[ homestuck ]

[Homestuck.]

Are you sure you weren't part of a circus or something in your past life? I'm just checking.

TBH I would have preferred that.

[ TO THE LIKE. CHILD ABUSE AND DEATH. ]

[SORRY LUKE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT?]

...I'm not going to ask "in comparison to what" because that's not something you just ask people. [Given some of the weird shit he's remembering himself, anyway. He's curious, of course he is, but he has enough tact for now not to immediately ask.] But c'mon, when was the last time you've ever even been to a circus? Those things are brutal. Think about how many horror movies involve circuses and carnivals.

[ NO ONE EVER NEEDS TO KNOW: A NOVEL BY DAVE STRIDER though he talks about the death stuff sometimes ]

So what you're tellin' me here is you're afraid of clowns?

[Dave...]

What? Man, no. Clowns are ugly as shit half the time but I've got bigger things to be afraid of.

By bigger things do you mean like taxes or the slow loss of self via memories?

[A mysterious little smile follows.]

Taxes. [So no, definitely the latter.] Don't sweat it too much, kid. We'll figure out what's up with your sword soon.

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parodeity - 2017-05-05 17:10 (UTC) - Expand

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chiseler - 2017-05-05 17:19 (UTC) - Expand

Steven Squawking shared an album. 4/8 near Cabin 11
so, what's the weirdest thing YOU'VE received from these jerks? 'cause I'm pretty sure I win but hey, at least it's not alive like some of the other things I've heard about