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[recollecters]

Hey, Users! This month's wikihow is right over here. In other news, don't you just love our logo colors? Such a nice shade of blue. I'm pretty fond of it myself! You know, Janet has blue eyes. But then, I guess you guys don't know anyone with eyes that color anymore, right? Whoops. Anyway, see you next month! Well, some of you anyway. :) Jim Halloway Research & Development Retrspec Incorporated As discussed on the monthly plot post the colors blue and green are now gray - except for the blue on the retrospec application logo and their building sign, although no NPC will be capable of seeing the color in these places. As stated in the plot post, NPCs will also seem to be completely unaware that the colors blue and green ever existed. Oops. Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Last's month's application round characters are now capable of changing their profile pictures.

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[lingeringwill]

[He starts to look down at his glass kind of sadly, albeit with a soft smile on his face.]

You're right. I want her to know that I...love her too, I just...

[Terra swishes the liquid in his cup around rhythmically.

Can't.

[A long silence lingers between them for a bit.]

Ryoji, do you think it's wrong to get involved with someone if they don't know all of your secrets?
Like...
Bad. Stuff?

[appraiser]

[ Ryoji falls quiet, encouragement faltering because that's... exactly what he did, getting involved with someone and being so slow in telling her of his far past, and very recent past of all the regrets he had spilled out to Terra. ]

I think my opinion weighs less than yours and who you want to be with. But for me... I believe that the present is more important than the past. I don't think all secrets need to be shared. And I know this opinion isn't what most people hold, or think is fair.

[lingeringwill]

I think about telling her every time I'm with her.

[The grip on his glass tightens.]

I...agree with you, Ryoji. We're not the same people we used to be, and we don't need to take that stuff with us everywhere we go.

...But I'm scared of what would happen if she found out. [This time, the way he takes his drink is a lot more aggressive. A drink to forget instead of a drink to relax.]

I don't want to feel like I'm lying to her, but if she didn't accept me, I...Don't know what I'd do.

[It's strange. It felt like he'd never talk to anyone like this, and yet here he was, spilling his guts. Maybe it's the kinship between them--the feeling of similarity that's allowing him to share himself. Maybe Ryoji would judge him if he found out what he did, but he's still the closest thing he has to himself.]

[appraiser]

...I get it. Maybe our situations are different, but I was- I'm still there, at the point where I have something I need to tell somebody important to me, but I can't, out of fear. It's... [ He glances at Terra, almost looks away again but forces himself to maintain eye contact. ] It's what I told you before, about hurting people. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her too.

I'm so scared to tell her, but... I need to have faith in her that she'll forgive me, that she won't leave me. Even if I feel like I would die if she rejected me, trust is love.

And I love her.

[lingeringwill]

Oh yeah, Mina did mention your girlfriend...[He's just assuming here, although he briefly wonders if he meant Minako herself. Terra puts his free hand on Ryoji's shoulder, a bit stern, but supportive.]

If you're feeling nervous and uneasy about not having told her...If it bothers you to know that you're keeping this from her, and that you may never be able to tell her...

Is that really a healthy relationship that you want her to be in?
That's why...I feel like I would have to tell her, eventually...
You both should be happy, I don't know if its fair to either party to let a big black cloud loom overhead...You know? [And talking through this makes it easier to look at his own situation objectively.]

[appraiser]

[ His relationship with Yuuko felt like one that's seen opposition from all sides at one point or another, but because so many people cared for her, warning— threatening— Ryoji of the consequences of making her cry. Whiiiiiiich is going to happen, the longer he drags his feet, so it's a very easily admitted, ] I know. [ the Ryoji breathes out. ]

It's like how you said before: I find it hard to forgive myself, but I hope that she would. I know... she won't think it my fault, and she'll worry for me in my stead, because she's always supported me like that.

[ The black cloud is over only Ryoji's head, inside his head. He just has to remember, they've helped each other through bad times before. ]

I'll talk to her. Tonight- before I lose my nerve. And you?

[ When are you going to talk to Minako? ]

[lingeringwill]

Brave of you, dude. [he'll get a few more encouraging pats from the bigger guy]

It'll be okay.

[And then folds his arms behind his head and leans back, thinking carefully. He's been thinking about telling her, but to try to put a date on it...It's like bringing the possibility fully into reality. Once he responds to this, it's going to happen, and the future is set in stone.]

...The next time we're alone.

I always resigned myself to just...living with this hanging over my head, but.
Maybe I don't have to, and with her...I don't think I want to.

So I need to know.