approximately three minutes after the alarms start going off

[thesettingsun]

SOME OF US DON'T HAVE POWERS THIS BINGO IS RIGGED

[Glad we got the complaining out of the way.]

Comments

[thesettingsun]

Depending on how long this goes on, we might even break a thousand.

[storytelleroftime]

Yeah. Maybe we should just make a "Death Threat Highlight Reel."

But in all seriousness, I don't want anyone sending death threats. One, that's illegal, and two, that's just petty.

[thesettingsun]

Unfortunately.

Is it illegal to wish for Jim to step on a hundred legos?

[storytelleroftime]

My, how cruel of you?! But no, it isn't. Perhaps that should be the fate of every Retrospec employee.

[thesettingsun]

That would be a little much, I don't know how bad they all are.

Let's start with twenty legos and then we can add on from there.

[storytelleroftime]

I could settle for that number.

[thesettingsun]

Glad to hear it. I don't want to be unreasonable with my vengeful curses.

[storytelleroftime]

Hey, whoever said anything about being reasonable? I mean, reason holds it's value but that's no reason not to go all out with your vengeful curses!

[thesettingsun]

In that case, I have another good one!

I hope Jim hits every red light when he drives, for the rest of his life.

[storytelleroftime]

Are we wishing inconveniences upon Jim? Why not upon Janet as well?

[thesettingsun]

As far as I know, Janet hasn't taken stalker photos of me yet like Jim has.

Also, Jim's obviously into her and dedicates hideous videos to her, so I kind of feel bad for her. Not enough to offset her working in Retrospec, but enough to make me dislike her less than him.

[storytelleroftime]

Stalker photos? Well, that's the first I've heard of anything like that. Mind elaborating?

[thesettingsun]

When I first got the app in May, Retrospec kept sending all its users photos of themselves taken from behind. Sometimes in public. Sometimes in private where there shouldn't be any cameras and there's no way someone should have been able to take pictures of me in my room without me noticing.

Jim said he was on 'surveillance duty', which sounds a lot like stalker duty to me.

[storytelleroftime]

...So they're monitoring us. Great. Is Jim trying to run some sort of surveillance state here?

[thesettingsun]

I know nothing about what he thinks he's doing except that he's a dickwad.

[storytelleroftime]

Do you know if there are any psychologists on this app? If so I want one do to a psychoanalysis of Jim. I feel like that I would bring about the most interesting results yet.

[thesettingsun]

I know a counselor is planning on group therapy, is that close enough?

[storytelleroftime]

that could do. Although really, I doubt that they'll find anything.

[thesettingsun]

Maybe Jim isn't even a person. He could be the personification of douchebaggery.

[storytelleroftime]

He could be. But the fact that he could be is rather depressing. Reality really has fallen apart, hasn't it?

[thesettingsun]

Blue is grey, horses are birds, and an employee of a social media company being not human is more plausible to me than him just being a regular asshole.

[storytelleroftime]

Yes, indeed. But still, the fact we're even at that point is just evidence to how much reality has changed. If that was a question before all this had started, would you find it plausible?

[thesettingsun]

No, and I'd laugh at whoever asked the question.

[storytelleroftime]

Exactly! And now that can be taken as a somewhat plausible train of thought. Thus, I will take that as evidence to what Retrospec has been doing to our lives. Corrupting them beyond the bounds of reason!

[thesettingsun]

Do you think there's a time limit on dreams, like I'll wake up and it'll be the start of May and none of this was real?