01 | text

[becetongles]

Can not say I give much of a shit about taking part in this beta testing, but I will have to say one thing: it is downright impressive that this app can work on this phone of mine.

I did not realize that apps could run on flip-phones, especially when the internet usually takes nothing short of fifteen minutes to load google. Regardless, I imagine the rest of you have your overpriced and unnecessary phones and other suchlike devices, but for the sake of sating my curiosity have any of you found this app on things that otherwise should not be able to run it?

[Yes, he typed all of that on his cellphone, his flip-phone dinosaur of a cellphone. So, naturally, all his replies will take quite the while to reply. Mashing the same button over and over again to get a single letter takes time, after all!]

Comments

[sonofpatriots]

What in the hell are you doing with an artifact like a 'flip-phone', boy?! Even I decided to upgrade my phone years ago to one of those fancy Samsung phones.

You are behind the times, Estée . I pray for you, truly.

[becetongles]

[It takes him a moment, and not because of his phone. Well, sort of because of that, but mainly because he was NOT expecting Uncle Adamska to reply.]

Save your praying, old man. This phone works for what I need, there's no point in getting one of those fragile toys everyone seems to be so fond of.

What in the world do you need one of those for, anyway? Do you not have some little bitch boy to run your errands and make your schedules for you?

[sonofpatriots]

[Expect the unexpected!]

Mhm, right. I think I'll keep you up in prayer while purchasing you a new phone. Judging from what Amadée told me, you'll need all the help you can get.

I do but her name is "Shelia" and she's on vacation right now.

[becetongles]

[Amadée you traitor...]

Amadée huh? I'm sure he has told you only the most flattering of stories about me. You should save your money, not that you are ever hurting for it, because I will not use that phone.

What is the point if they go on vacation? Do you not have a stand in? Seems dangerous for the elderly to go unattended.

[thesettingsun]

[Just... gonna ignore the jabs at his smartphone...]

This works on my computer when my computer isn't connected to the internet.

[becetongles]

[SMARTPHONES ARE FOR NERDS.]

That does not even make sense. Quite how it is capable of doing that, I cannot imagine. Has anyone addressed this before, or have we just decided to be complacent in the face of such oddity.

[thesettingsun]

[NERDS ARE SUPERIOR]

I don't know if it counts as being complacent when there's not much you can do about it. I don't know any programmers who could take it apart.

[vendettastool]

It works on anything that might have a connection even when it doesn't, but give it the ultimate test: Open the app and attempt to show it to someone near you and ask them if they see anything.

[becetongles]

This sounds like the attempt to make me do something stupid. I am not that gullible. I will have to pass.

[vendettastool]

It isn't, but fine, be bullheaded about that test. Second test is to go into a computer store and look at a random tester, or think about horses, the colors blue and green, and smiling fruit.

Also for your information, I cannot find the source code of this program, my servers do not recognize it is running even while I have it open on my main work computer, and my PA did not see it until he got his own version of the app on his phone.

[ He seen that comment about crappy programmers and is being a little annoyed by it. ]

[heiresy]

Estée, stop harassing Uncle with your terrible phone. I'm not even in the same room with you and I can almost hear the clicking of that "keyboard".

[becetongles]

Yet you choose to speak to me on here, and not in person. Maybe you like hearing the clicking.

Also, I am not harassing him, if anything, he's harassing me.

[heiresy]

I'm quarantining my room from all that stale smoke! I can't have my suits full of those damned, disgusting, unfiltered American cigarettes.

You should respect him a bit better... He looks out for us, you know.

[commandertoolbelt]

it’s a nokia isn’t it

[ clearly that’s the only way this could work in the modern age ]

[becetongles]

Yeah, actually. They're reliable.

[commandertoolbelt]

understatement of the year
those things are practically indestructible
i bet they'd still be working after the apocalypse

[judgementkazzy]

The app works on TVs and fridges, I wouldn't be surprised if you could get it on one of those graphic calculators at this point.

[becetongles]

That's worrisome. How long before you think this app makes itself to our brains?

[judgementkazzy]

I guess if you had some kind of cyber brain, like in a sci fi... it could happen.
But you don't even have to be online to get it, just a screen is enough.

[gnasher]

i didn't know this was happening. i kind of want to try to find it on a spell'n'say or a furby now.

[becetongles]

I am far from a technological kind of guy, but I am pretty sure it needs a screen to work. Furbies are lacking in that department.

However, from the sounds of it, had they a screen, it would surely work.

[gnasher]

some of them do. have screens, i mean.



the eyes.

[creeping himself out]

[crudest]

so when you wake up one day with pointy teeth and tiny arms
none of us will be surprised
because you sound like a dinosaur

anyway rumor has it
that this shit runs on phones that don't have signal
maybe even without battery
so they have their own self sustaining network or something

[becetongles]

At least dinosaurs are awesome. Way better than those fragile money sinks.

This sounds terrible. I have never been a huge fan of technology already, and this is merely affirming my aversion.

[crudest]

is it because you won't be able to tap onto the screen
with your tiny little t rex hands

so are you some kind of mountain hermit just wandered into civilization
or just an angry hipster