sanity chicken would be a good band name

[parodeity]

all right fuck it
i was trying to avoid being That Crazy Person
but clearly everyone else is doing really well at sanity chicken
all edging around the topic or not bringing it up
or possibly it not being an issue for the majority though i am PRETTY fucking sure i can confirm it happening for at least like
nearly ten people maybe i dont know
so im just going to commit to my role as the crazy conspiracy theory guy
get me a whiteboard and some string you all
im ready to mark it up
wave goodbye sadly to my good name and all that
watch it circle the drain as i dump it in the toilet and watch it flush away
so anyway here we go

raise your fucking hand if youve had a very vivid hallucination of some sort
that felt super real
since you got this app
about a thing you definitely never remember yourself doing
also if youre going to go dave you sound like youve lost it
at least link me something entertaining off the internet to add some spice to what is sure to be a pretty common response
it isnt like yo remember when horses were a thing makes any of us sound any less ridiculous
so
admittedly i guess i could sound crazier
theres like a scale here
shit i should make a scale ill do that later
anyway

raise your hands or dont
go

[ ooc: i literally never care about theadjacking so feel free if you want ]

Comments

[potentite]

Okay so me, ghost dirk and this hot not human spider chick were standing there right?
And there's this fish girl with like... two long braids and goofy grandma glasses and kind of punk clothes.
And we were in this dark voidy place. So suddenly I launch myself at this girl shouting about how she's Fish Hitler and she needs to die and I sure seemed pretty intent on that!
I beat the shit out of her. She was smiling the whole time??
Now that I think about it her blood wasn't red?
It was like... this purple colour.
Anyway Dirk seemed unhappy and so did the hot spider chick.
Dirk says from his vision of it that he knew she was not Fish Hitler and that they were trying to tell me that.
I don't actually know what Fish Hitler is, just that I was very upset over it.

[parodeity]

fuchsia
the color youre looking for is fuchsia

[potentite]

Yeah!
Fuchsia! That's it, thanks.
Wait.
Dave how'd you know what colour she was bleeding??
I mean that is oddly specific.

[parodeity]

because i know my colors obviously
regardless of my actual level of drawing ability i am an artist
and i know it for like clothes purposes
same diff
that was most definitely fuchsia
you can trust me on this
i can get out color swatches if you want to check me tho

also yeah it would be specific
you were shouting nonsense words and beating up one of the ets
i think i thought you were drunk
i stand by that assessment actually
hallucinatory dave knew what the fuck was up

[potentite]

I believe you!
And... yeah the words were weird. I admit that.
But I wasn't drunk! That time. I might have been in that horrifying technocolour nightmare Dirk gave me.
I was definitely high in that one.
But no I was really angry??
Also I didn't know you were there hi Dave!! What were you up to?

[parodeity]

you literally said something about punching her b/c she killed me but i was standing right the fuck there
all alive and breathing and shit
are we sure you werent drunk
as to what i was up to
i was standing there watching you do it ig??
said some shit
mostly amounting to asking rose if she thought you were drunk
and also observing about your whole snapping thing
asked what the fuck was going on
i stand by that statement too actually
it seems like a pretty accurate assessment of whatever the fuck was going on there
which is
what the fresh hell is going on here

this is genuinely the most ridiculous month of my life

[potentite]

Well I didn't know you were there.
Clearly there was a miscommunication somewhere about you dying? Because I was definitely legitimately upset!
Actually this is incredibly stupid.
My life in this ongoing hallucination is really dumb??

[parodeity]

yeah you were kinda busy whaling on fuchsia alien chick
to like pay attention to your surroundings i guess
though the surroundings were weird so who could blame you
i guess
thanks?
for whaling on a random hallucinatory chick
at least in part over my miscommunicated death
im touched by your random acts of hallucinatory heroism im sure
ive probs got you beat tho in terms of dumbness
crocodiles were making me into soup at one point
beat that
and you cant do it with the sugar rush shit dirk already tricked me into that recall

[potentite]

You're welcome I guess? I would in fact beat the shit out of someone who I thought killed you so I guess that's right?
Though why she is or is not Fish Hitler still alludes me.
Okay what the fuck. I'm not getting anything from that so I guess I avoided crocodiles.
Aside from that sugar hell, the worst that happened was me and Dirk arguing over this girl.
And he threatened to take over my body functions and make me shit myself.
But why were the crocodiles making you into soup? Were they going to eat you?

[parodeity]

i remain touched
obviously all of you should of course defend my honor against fish hitlers of all sorts
and also whatever other reasons you were punching her for
which made less sense than that one
did dirk plan to hypnotize you or smth
i dont remember seeing him at your fish hitler smackdown
also idk why
i just remember sitting in that pot and they were cutting up onions and veggies and shit and throwing them in the pot w me
i dont
THINK they were gonna eat me?
i wasnt like super worried
just mostly annoyed

[potentite]

He was there! Just a ghost. I think only I can see him when he's like that.
In the one where we argued and he threatened to make me shit myself, I was upset because I was trying to talk to the real Dirk.
And not the Dirk in my head. Who can... take me over I guess?
He called himself a splinter and he was Dirk but also a representation of my mind?
So that's probably why you couldn't see him. But as I told Dirk, the fact that Dirk can have a vision of this means he was DEFINITELY partly Dirk at least.
So I win.
Anyway that's...
I mean I guess I would be annoyed too.
But I don't understand how crocodiles could do that. They don't have thumbs like we do.

[parodeity]

???????????
moving on from all that bullshit which made zero sense
today ill take dirks side of whatever the argument is
since i owe him a thing
but also i have no idea what youre talking about
re: the crocs they didnt seem to have problems operating a knife
for
whatever reason
im not sure what their endgame was there
but the onions were making me cry
it was lame and also ridiculous

[potentite]

It's okay I have no idea why this is an argument either.
But man. Your hallucinatory life is really, really weird.
I'm kind of grateful crocodiles didn't trigger anything in me...
But then again I'm on guard now. Like. It seems like anything can trigger this shit.
So I'm ready now.
I'm ready for stupid bullshit to happen to me.

[parodeity]

the surefire way is for someone to tell you a thing about you
i think
but also
there does seem to KIND OF be a correlation for most of the shit
except maybe the start of a domino chain?

[potentite]

Yeah... We were arguing about girls when the one about that happened.
He told me about the sugar hell and that made me remember it.
But punching the girl happened on Founder's Day.

[parodeity]

which version of sugar hell
and ok
i think
this might be working into a pattern

[potentite]

The one with me, Roxy, Dirk and the other girl.
Dirk said there was another but I didn't want to hear it so soon after the first one. Was I in the second one too?
So the pattern is everything started on Founder's Day, right? After this app was released.

[parodeity]

yeah
youre not missing out not hearing it
its literally just sugar rush 2.0
although i guess it is better than the 1.0 version
on the grounds i exist in 2.0
therefore making it like a million times more amazing

yes
thats the pattern
but also
i think the things that seem to be unrelated to a specific trigger
seem to have happened on or nearer to founders day
everything ive had since then has a source i can trace it to

[potentite]

Ugh you can tell me it if you want. I guess I should know all these things.
Otherwise I might miss something important in the long run. Like a pattern or something.
But okay so was Founder's Day itself the trigger for the unrelated ones?
Or do you think it was something we're missing?

[parodeity]

are you sure
youve seen one of those right
theyre migraine inducers
maybe we should make dirk tell you since its like his new hobby
to give people sugar rush memories or w/e
dirk stop lurking and take the fall

im not sure if founders day was the trigger
it seems like a possibility given the timeframes people are telling me
i can confirm personally 4 iterations of a thing beyond the ones people have said here
no one has mentioned anything before that date
and most havent mentioned it too far after
ergo

[potentite]

Dirk is awful and not a good dude, it's true.
Since he inflicted me with the first sugar hell.
But yeah I want to know about it despite the fact that I'll suffer.
Well, if we're going back to the idea of retrospec being behind all of this... then that was a big day for them? Like with the beads and all. They were advertising.
Actually that's a good question right there.
What are they to everyone else? We're the only ones with the app.
But they were showing off to the whole city.

[parodeity]

hey i didnt say that
hes the coolest guy i know and an amazing dude
with terrible hobbies

[ in this universe bro really IS dave's hero who he genuinely idolizes DAVE'S THE WORST AUDIENCE FOR DIRK COMPLAINTS, SORRY JAKE ]

are you at least sitting down mr masochist

also
im pretty sure theyre absolutely nothing to the whole city
have you heard ANYONE talking about them?
roxy and i sure havent
and were on all the social medias pretty much
and its not like we havent been around
but like
i dont remember seeing them in the sponsor list for the parade at all
i checked twice
im not sure they were making such a big deal of themselves as we think they were
because im not 100% sure anyone else noticed

[potentite]

[It's okay JAKE THINKS IT'S CUTE.]

Haha, you really are a good brother, Dave.
I wish I had a little brother like you. That'd be so cool.
But yeah I'm sitting down. I am even lying down.
I didn't think of it that way but...
Okay if they're nothing to the rest of the city how did they get on that float?
I mean that's the main float! It's not like just anyone gets on it.

[parodeity]

technically they didnt get on the float
their beads did
maybe they did a cold swap beforehand from whatever was gonna be thrown originally?
but also
we are potentially dealing with an organization who erased horses from existence
maybe
so

***ROXY DONT READ THIS IF YOURE NOT SITTING DOWN***
i dont know if dirk said anything to her
anyway
picture this
its all rainbows and sprinkles and candy and shit and everyones doped to high hell
dirk is dirk and hes the only one not grinning like a fucking creeper
well he says i was smiling normal style but as i am me
who the fuck knows
everyones hoisting rose and yet another random alien on chairs
its wedding time
rose is in a classy tux
random alien chick is in a dress
no one has any idea what the fuck is going on
though i assume the answer is "wedding"
however the answer is also "who even fucking knows"

[voideity]

this is what i get for readin all ur shit
i cant believe we dropped acid at roseys wedding that never happened

(hi jake sup enjoyin ur hallucinations)