retrospec | (no subject)

[Tatsuo slides inside...]

Uh. Yes?

[a pause]

Where's Blaise?

[because by now he usually had a cat giving him a death glare for daring to set foot into Derek's apartment]

[Derek chuckles at Tatasuo's uneasiness.]

Oh, you mean my lovable cat who regularly plots your death? Don't worry, he has a new distraction. Come see.

[Derek motions for Tatsuo to fallow him to his bedroom. Derek theatrically opens his door.]

Behold, Zoo a la Derek.

[Upon looking in Tatsuo will see Blaise with an arched back, hissing at the owl. While the owl, at this point has about hat it with Blaise and has unfolded it's wings to it's six foot span and then screeches at Blaise, probably to shut up.]

[Tatsuo's eyes widen as he takes in 1) Blaise actually being intimiedated for once and 2) a bird with a SIX FOOT WING SPAN]

Derek... that bird is huge.

[Derek doesn't really notice Tatsuo's comment due to the owl unfolding it's wings and Blaise becoming more distressed.]

Ok, that's enough Blaise! Come here.

[Derek grabs Blaise around the middle and pries him off his bed. As he carries the cat out of the room he is speaking to it.]

Why can't you be nice? You like me, my girlfriend, that Carmen lady? Why can't you like the owl huh?

[Blaise meows angrily.]

Yeah, whatever.

[Derek sets him on the couch and tosses a few cat toys at him.

Distract yourself you stupid fluff ball.

[Derek walks back into his bedroom and closes the door.]

I swear my cat is channeling the devil or something.

[Wait. Did Derek just say Carmen?

When Derek returns, Tatsuo just raises an eyebrow at his comment on Blaise's behavior.]

Finally noticed that, have you?

[Derek shrugs.]

I've always known, just hate to admit it out loud.

Anyway, [Derek points at the owl perched on his night stand.] this is the owl and I'm thinking of naming him Bronte.

Bronte. Well, as long as he likes it, I can't really say whether or not it suits him. I've never really considered owl names before.

[Tatsuo just looks the owl from head to talon over a few times]

What dose he eat?

Well, so far I've seen Bronte eat mice. See? [Derek pulls out his phone and shows the picture of Bronte eating a dead mouse.]

Other people have suggested I buy him supplements at a pet store, but honestly what pet stores carry owl supplements. Another person suggested baby chickens. Though to be frank, it seems no one really knows much about owl in general...ah, but there was a recent a acquaintance of mine who did. Her name is Carmen. [Derek smirks at Tatsuo.] I believe you know her. Tatsuo, you've never mentioned this particular lady friend of yours, why is that?

Edited 2017-10-19 04:30 (UTC)

[Tatsuo gives Derek a confused look]

Whoa, yes, I know Carmen, but it's a bit too soon to call us friends. We've mostly just talked on the app.

[Derek smirked.]

Mostly talked on the app? So that means you've talked in person? You've more than talked? Have you asked her out on a date?

[Bronte hoots and flaps it's wings a bit.]

See, even Bronte wants to know.

[Tatsuo just... covers his face with one hand]

Oh. My. God. Derek, you can't just jump from talking on a social media app to asking someone on a date.

[Derek shrugs in response.]

Sure you can, it's called Tinder.

You do realize most people use that app for hook-ups, right?

Most, but not all. Besides, you've talked to her in real life I assume, so ask her straight to her face. It's easy, all you got to say is: "Carmen, do you want to, insert an activity the both of you find enjoyable, with me?" If she says yes, suggest a time and place, and boom, you've got a date.

Oh. My. God. I came down here to pet your owl, not have you dissect my non-existent love-life.

[Derek smirks.]

Which would be existent if you asked a girl out on a date.

[Derek dramatically sighs.]

What am I to do with you?

[Derek smiles and points to the owl.]

So, you want to pet the owl or not?

Of course, why didn't I think of that? How stupid of me!

[Tatsuo gives Derek a deadpan stare]

There are so many reasons I don't take romantic advice from you.

But yes, I want to pet your owl. Just tell me whether he's going to try to bite my finger off or not.

[Derek sighs.]

[I guess I'll just have to resign for my childhood hero to be single all his life. The poor bastard.]

[Derek smirks at Tatsuo.]

I give the best advice.

[Derek turns to the owl perched on his night stand. He hadn't even touched the owl yet. Taking a few steps forward, he holds out his hand to the owl. To his surprise, the owl nudges his hand with his head.]

Well, he seems to like me.

Edited 2017-10-28 04:45 (UTC)

[Tatsuo sighs. Truly, sometimes he feels a very strong urge to slap Derek upside the head. Sometimes he gave in to those urges, but today he restrains himself. For all he knows the owl is an attack owl and will claw his eyes out if he so much as touches Derek.]

Blaise likes you. That's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

[Derek sighs at Tatsuo. He has a point. Still petting the owl, he looks at it and when he does the owl looks at him.]

Tatsuo would like to pet you. We don't get many owls around here so you're kind of a rare opportunity. May he pet you? He is a really close friend of mine, so he's a good person.

[The owl closes it's eyes ans softly hoots. Derek looks back at Tatsuo.]

That might be a yes.

[Tatsuo supposes that's about as much reassurance as he's going to get.]

Yes. Hi... I'm Tatsuo... nice to meet you Bronte.

[and Tatsuo steps forward, holding out his hand to gently pet the owl on his head]

[Bronte hold his head perfectly still.]

Oh wow, I think Bronte is letting you.

[Tatsuo strokes Bronte's feathers as gently as possible]

Why can't your demon cat be this well mannered?

[Derek shrugs.]

He's a special little snowflake.

More like an evil little snowflake. So, Bronte and Blaise.

[he gives Bronte one more stroke on the head, then retracts his hand]

Hah, now I can say I pet an owl

Derek Matthews shared a photo. October 3, 2017 near Tisse
I came home to find this guy in my apartment. Anyone know anything about owls? It's acting like it knows me! Like, IT'S WAVING!

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