002. text // i say it is, then it's true

[manufactured]

This is another of those questions in which I'm not explicitly asking for details, if you don't care to share them; I've simply found that shouting into a void is useful, if not a productive use of my time. But now that the matter of our souls has been brought into question, I suppose this feels more relevant than it would normally.

As time goes on and you have more and more memories forcibly shoved into your head, do you find yourself having difficulty keeping your thoughts and reactions separate from those of the person whose memories you're recalling? Or to put it a different way, do you ever feel the lines blurring – do you understand things that you previously thought you never would, or do you find yourself relating to things that you suspect you shouldn't?

And if so, has that sort of shift in perception changed what you believe you deserve?

Comments

[matchbreaker]

... It's not that I don't know that "she" is "me" on some level. All this soul nonsense, having her emotions flow through me every time I think back on the memories I've gotten? Hell, I've got her eyes now.

But I'm not ready to let go of "me," the human, who has a lovely son. It seems to me that if I'm to be held accountable for all "she" is then I'm basically saying that's most important part of me.

Which I know seems so silly.

[manufactured]

[...Ah.]

I don't think it seems that way at all. As much as everyone has been discussing souls and memories and emotions and restoration as opposed to reincarnation... Even though I question such things myself, I'm still largely of the notion that we can't go back to being those people. Not entirely. Your time spent before all this happened has changed who you are on a fundamental level. Perhaps for the better; I can't say for sure. I know you're deeply important to me, regardless. But the fact remains that we aren't going to ever be those people; you're always going to be Elda Marker, the human who has a lovely son, at least in some capacity.

Really, that sort of thought is the only thing that keeps me sane half the time nowadays.

[matchbreaker]

[ She inhales deep, trying to prevent whatever emotion is welling up in her from overwhelming her. A lovely son... huh. ]

He really is a wonderful boy.

[ but the fact is, ]

Still, this isn't about him or me. You're important to me too, Albert. And I want to make it abundantly clear that I'm not going to hold you to a standard born out of some memories you've had ousted onto you. So no matter what is or isn't deserved, I will be there for you.

[manufactured]

...Thank you. Genuinely.

Perhaps it's something that ought to be discussed sometime; I can't say for certain. The content of them is a bit much, even with the context of what we've seen already.

[You know, the boat. The burning. Both of those.]

[matchbreaker]

We're both adults, I'm certain that I can handle it.

[ . . . . Maybe. ]

[manufactured]

I don't doubt that you can; honestly, I believe you would probably handle it better than most.

[matchbreaker]

I'll take that as a compliment. But that being the case, yes, let's talk it out over some evening tea or something.

[manufactured]

All right. If you do want to know, I suppose.

[matchbreaker]

Yes, I do.

[ Like, let's just. Be clear? Sure? ]