retrospec | 001. text // i'm wide awake the more i sleep

I'll preface this now with the notion that I don't expect anyone to respond with the content of their memories, should this be relevant to them. It's more a question being shouted into the void, because I don't care to keep it in my head any longer. Make of it what you will; treat it as a pure hypothetical if it suits you, it isn't as though I'll know the difference.

But has anyone had the suspicion that they may have been on the wrong side of whatever conflict may have been occurring in these memories of theirs? Or if not something so drastic, perhaps it's just that the person you seem to have been back then was deserving of, at the very least, a solid shake and a slap across the face.

Either way, people like to assert here that whomever you are now isn't the same as the person you're remembering, and I wholeheartedly agree with that notion. However, the question likewise comes up from time to time of whether or not the patterns we recall are what we're destined to fall into again.

That possibility becomes decidedly more difficult to disregard when the memories you receive are of someone that you have neither the interest nor the desire to become.

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Sounds like you've been having fun.

I suppose some of us are experiencing memories that would paint us in a negative light, but that doesn't necessarily mean we're bound to repeat that. I'd say circumstances are pretty important, wouldn't you?

I would, of course, as is the element of personal choice. I'm not one to believe in fate or destiny, or in true acts of God for that matter.

At the same time, certain things are a bit difficult to ignore, particularly without context for why they came to be.

At that point I'd argue that it's not fair to judge without knowing the context. Of course, that's easier said than done here, when we have no way of knowing when or IF we'll get the context.

In some cases, I'm not certain if context would be preferred or if it would just prove ultimately detrimental.

That bad, huh? I haven't received anything quite that terrible - everything I've gotten has me questioning why it happened and what led to it. But I suppose everyone's experiences are very different!

Oh, I'm not saying that I'm not questioning everything that I've recalled so far. The concern isn't that there's some sort of context that I'll be unhappy with, simply because any explanation would be better than being left to wonder about it.

My concern is rather that there is no context - that everything I'm recalling is a matter of insanity or irrationality as opposed to anything that's happening for a reason.

A bad reason would be preferable to no reason at all. I just know better than to assume that there's going to be a satisfying explanation for everything.

Oh, I see! Yes, that certainly is more terrifying than getting an answer at some point, even if it is a terrible one.

Do you really believe that it's insanity that's behind all of your memories? It might be too soon to tell, but I'm curious.

I don't think I know enough to make a solid assessment just yet. There may in fact be something else driving all of it, and I just don't have all the answers as to what for the time being.

However, some of the things I've recalled have contained enough that I can't rule it out entirely.

I see. I sincerely do hope that you discover that there's something behind it even if it is something ridiculous or unbelievable.

As do I.

I'm not certain how willing I am just yet to deliberately try to induce more of those memories to surface, if such a thing is possible - I know that some have tried it. At the same time, I'm likewise not certain how content I am to leave things as they are. I know that we've said that it would be preferable not to remember, but the longer I think about it, the less content I am to leave it be.

No, I believe you're right. Not knowing may be best for some people, but I can't stand it any longer. I want to know everything that happened, that led me to where I was. Regardless of how painful it may be or how ridiculous it might seem, I want to know.

Intentionally inducing memories is an interesting idea, but I have no idea how one would go about that.

It almost seems like something that shouldn't be meddled with, doesn't it?

[...which means he's probably gonna meddle with it one day, just fuckin' watch him.

just...not now.]

Do try not to meddle with it TOO hard. The last thing I'd need is for you to mess yourself up with this!

[But he's certain there's no stopping Wesker and he's curious anyway, so why the hell not.]

Please. It's idiotic to try anything now, with no idea what I'm doing.

Consider it concern for the future, then!

Keep that up and you really are going to make me wonder what I did to deserve this much flattery.

Maybe I'm just using it as an excuse to get your mind off of such a dreadful topic! Or maybe I genuinely DO like you and want you to be happy~! ☆

...You legitimately pride yourself on being obnoxious, don't you?

It's a wonderful skill, isn't it?

It's suitably distracting, I'll grant you that much.

See? What would you do without me?

Perhaps my life would be significantly less surreal.

Given how this conversation started, that's not terribly likely, granted. But it's a possibility.

I'm honored I can show up and make your life that much more surreal! You really are giving me all the compliments today, aren't you~?

If that's how you decided to interpret that, far be it from me to stop you.

[wesker don't be an asshole]

There wasn't any interpreting involved at all! I really DO think it's a compliment!

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manufactured - 2017-07-14 00:43 (UTC) - Expand

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