001. text // i'm wide awake the more i sleep

[manufactured]

I'll preface this now with the notion that I don't expect anyone to respond with the content of their memories, should this be relevant to them. It's more a question being shouted into the void, because I don't care to keep it in my head any longer. Make of it what you will; treat it as a pure hypothetical if it suits you, it isn't as though I'll know the difference.

But has anyone had the suspicion that they may have been on the wrong side of whatever conflict may have been occurring in these memories of theirs? Or if not something so drastic, perhaps it's just that the person you seem to have been back then was deserving of, at the very least, a solid shake and a slap across the face.

Either way, people like to assert here that whomever you are now isn't the same as the person you're remembering, and I wholeheartedly agree with that notion. However, the question likewise comes up from time to time of whether or not the patterns we recall are what we're destined to fall into again.

That possibility becomes decidedly more difficult to disregard when the memories you receive are of someone that you have neither the interest nor the desire to become.

Comments

before the punching but after the texting??

[thesettingsun]

Hallucinomemory me had several issues. I hope I'm not going down that path... Some of the things he does seem like me but taken to an extreme.

And then some of them are just totally inexcusable and stupid.

that works for me!

[manufactured]

You recall the conversation we had a while ago, I assume - in which you asserted that the person I'm remembering was possibly neither sane nor rational. It seems you were more or less correct in that assessment, at least as far as I can tell.

In other words, I do understand "inexcusable and stupid," as it were.

[scythegun]

Sounds like you've been having fun.

I suppose some of us are experiencing memories that would paint us in a negative light, but that doesn't necessarily mean we're bound to repeat that. I'd say circumstances are pretty important, wouldn't you?

[manufactured]

I would, of course, as is the element of personal choice. I'm not one to believe in fate or destiny, or in true acts of God for that matter.

At the same time, certain things are a bit difficult to ignore, particularly without context for why they came to be.

[liberal_arts]

This is a lot of supposition with no actual proof, of course. Personally, I find the suggestions of these 'memories' deeply uncomfortable if they are true, for reasons I can't quite put to words.

I'm told it's disassociation. But who really knows?

[manufactured]

I'm fairly certain that most people find them uncomfortable, but that's likely to be expected, given the concept of foreign memories being shoved into one's head is a little unsettling as a whole.

[elevelvetor]

well, i haven't had anything particularly malicious...
but i did have a hallucinomemory where i poured a total of 3mil yen (a little under $26,500 if conversation rates hold true) into three different fountains.
for wishing purposes, you see, except i'm almost certain i didn't make a single wish the entire time.

replace all of those "i"s with "a woman who seems to be me but i am not entirely certain is actually me because we actually have very different clothing styles, hair color, and eye color, and i don't really know what to make of these hallucinomemory things anyway".

[manufactured]

Was there no further context, beyond "presumably for wishes that you ended up not making"? I won't be surprised if there wasn't, mind, but curiosity compels.

[feistytrader]

If it helps any, I think I might have been part of a cult.

[manufactured]

...I realize that I said I wouldn't ask for details regarding the memories that people have received, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want you to elaborate.

[accordance]

I believe that would be determined by whether you choose to allow yourself to let history repeat itself.

[manufactured]

While I'm not denying that freedom of choice has a part to play in all this, it can't be denied that there may be other factors at play here that we aren't yet aware of.

Making broad statements like that seems slightly premature. Not incorrect in theory, mind. But either way we choose to look at it is going to be based on assumptions for the time being.

[wantshappiness]

I haven't regained that many memories but the ones I have are very unsettling. I keep thinking if I find more maybe it was a mistake or I'm just misunderstanding but it seems to be having the opposite effect.

I think I prefer the hallucinomemories where I just remember information and facts...

[manufactured]

Have you had very many of the latter? Again, I'm not requesting details, but I haven't experienced anything like that personally.

[overtwohundred]

that's a hell of a wall of text if i've ever seen one

[manufactured]

And yet you took the time to respond anyway. How almost flattering of you.

[vendettastool]

The person that I am now is not the same person that I've been seeing. I think that maybe what we see in the hallucinomemories shouldn't force us to change to fit them, but we should take from them what we can to go forward. Maybe there is something in them that can help us later on.

[manufactured]

That's the assumption I've been trying to operate under as well. At the same time, it's been proving an interesting experiment in testing patience, if nothing else, the more memories that I receive.

I'm likewise in the position of being completely unable to reconcile what I'm seeing with who I am, however.

[crudest]

so what'd you do and was it any fun

[manufactured]

Well, I was certainly enjoying myself at the time, I can tell you that much.

[scarlet_devil]

...I am under no illusions that my... other self is quite evil, being a would-be conqueror.

[manufactured]

Conqueror...? In what way?

[sivard]

Honestly, I haven't actually remembered anything about my other self. I remember bits and pieces, but nothing about whoever he was.

But no matter who I was then, I'm me. That's how I like looking at things.

[manufactured]

It's possible you're fortunate, then, for not remembering - most that I know would prefer it if they recalled nothing.

Though that may say more about my preferred company than anything.

[matchbreaker]

I think it's more healthy to think of it as people apart. But I know that's difficult, it's been hard for me because - you've remembered what "you" were feeling then too, right?

[manufactured]

[...Ah. Elda, hello.]

That's the primary problem I'm having with it, yes. Were it just something that I was seeing, even from a first-person perspective, that would be one thing - but the emotional aspect is there as well, it renders the entire thing incredibly surreal at best.